Living Life
by Talipatra
Summary: Bella ends up with Jacob and life happens.
1. Chapter 1: Wishing

_Jake POV_

"Hi Jake!" Bella was bubbly. This was a side of her I hadn't seen in a while.

"Hey," I said with a grin. She climbed into the car, leaning over to give me a quick peck on the lips. "Ready for tonight?"

She grinned at me and my heart skipped a beat. I would never get tired of seeing that. "I'm ready, are you?" she asked with a coy smile as she pulled her seatbelt on.

I chuckled as I backed out of the driveway, lifting a hand in greeting to Charlie who stood in the doorway. "You do realize we're going to a karaoke bar, right?"

"Oh, I do. Do you? You're singing, right?"

I snorted. "Yeah, not sure anyone deserves to be subjected to that. My wolf howl is easier on the ears than my singing voice." I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. "Why, are you singing?" I'd figured we'd sit and laugh at everyone. If she was singing, that'd put a whole new spin on the night.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, you have to sing at a karaoke bar! Shit, Jake, you need to get out more." She settled back in her seat, humming softly under her breath with the radio.

I listened closer now than I had in the past and realized my girl could hold a tune. I'll be damned.

We talked easily the rest of the trip to Clallam Bay, only pausing when we pulled up in front of the bar. Bella looked up at the blue neon sign. "Spring Tavern," she mused. "Interesting."

She climbed out of the car, catching her foot on the bottom of the door and landing unceremoniously in a heap before I could get there to catch her. I ran around the car, forcing myself to move like a human so as not to attract more attention than a seven foot tall Indian normally does. She looked up at me, laughing. "Not a great start to the evening," she remarked taking my hand and letting me help her up.

I took her hands in mine and studied her palms. She hadn't done any major damage. I gently wiped the rocks and dirt off, careful not to hurt her. She chuckled softly and I looked up.

Bella was staring at me, a smile on her face. I froze as she ever so slightly leaned towards me. She tilted her head back and her lips parted slightly. I nervously moistened my lips with the tip of my tongue, every nerve ending in my body buzzing with anticipation. I lightly moved my hands up her arms to her shoulders, sliding around to her back. She stepped closer to me and her smile broadened. "You have an eyelash," she breathed, reaching up and touching my face lightly. She brought her hand down and held her index finger up. "Make a wish and blow," she instructed.

There was only one thing I wished for. I didn't take my eyes off of her as I lightly blew. I still had my arms around her and I felt her shiver slightly. I pulled her closer to warm her with my heat. She slipped her arms around my waist and gave me a tight squeeze.

"Come on, we need to get in there or all the good songs will have been taken," she laughed as she pulled away and moved towards the door. She caught my hand and pulled me along behind her. I sighed softly. Wish not granted.

We paid the cover, had the backs of our hands stamped with "Underage" in bright purple and looked around for the group.

The wolf girls had decided that they wanted a regular outing. They enjoyed the bonfires, but felt like we could all use some "culture." So, once a month, we all went on a kind of group date. Tonight Quil was flying solo, Claire obviously not old enough to go to a bar and Embry was practically gaga over Jill. It was kind of disgusting, more so since I hadn't imprinted yet. Sam and Emily were there, laughing and joking with them and Leah was sulking in the corner. Why she came along, I had no idea. Sam and Emily tried not to rub their relationship in her face, but she just made everyone really uncomfortable.

Bella had seen them and was now tugging me through the crowd towards the table. "Hi!" she said brightly, sitting down in an available chair. "So who all is singing?"

There were laughs around the table. "None of the guys will sing," pouted Jill.

Bella looked around at them. "I thought the deal was you had to participate and pretend to enjoy yourselves, no matter what activity the girls picked."

"I'll enjoy this a hell of a lot more from this seat, thanks," Embry rolled his eyes. Quil nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm singing," Bella announced. Eyes all around the table widened. I grinned as I lowered myself into my chair. "Jill, wanna sing a duet or something? I have an idea for a solo, but I'll go again if someone will go with me."

Jill beamed. "Sure! Emily, you've got to come, too." Emily rolled her eyes, but didn't protest. "Leah? Wanna sing with us? It'll be fun." Leah scowled at her and looked down at her drink.

Jill shrugged and the three got up and made their way to the front of the crowded bar to pick their songs and sign up. Quil leaned towards me.

"Dude, can she sing?"

I shrugged. "No clue. I can't remember ever hearing her."

Embry shuddered. "I have a bad feeling about this. I love Jill, really, but….damn…she's awful."

Sam chuckled. "Emily's ok, but she's not getting any recording contracts or anything."

I looked at the girls as they laughed and thumbed through the book. They looked like they were enjoying themselves. I noticed Embry and Sam watching them too, and felt a pang of jealousy. It wasn't fair. Why wouldn't it happen for me and Bella?

She practically bounced back to the table, settling down into the chair beside me, her arm resting against mine on the table. She talked to Embry about something but I couldn't focus on much. I guess I was glaring at the table because when I looked up, I startled the waitress. She paled and took a step back. I quickly relaxed my face.

"Sorry, bad day," I said lamely. She nodded, but I didn't think she believed me.

We placed our order for drinks and the typical bar food: fried grease. She hurried off, not looking back. I sighed and leaned back in my seat.

"I'm up next," Bella grinned at me as a large, pale blonde girl got up and warbled through _I Will Always Love You_, screeching as she tried to hit some high notes. I winced. Whitney Houston, she was not. Shit, she wasn't even Angelica Huston.

Quil leaned forward with a grimace. "Whose genius idea was this again?" I rolled my eyes in Jill's direction. He grunted and sat back, shuddering as the singer cracked on another note.

The audience applauded loudly as she moved off stage, more for the fact that she was leaving than anything. I saw with surprise that Bella was already up by the stage. She smiled at the girl as she passed her then took the mic. She looked out at the crowd and her smile faltered a bit, then she pasted it back on. My girl was nervous. She cleared her throat lightly and looked towards us.

"This is for a friend of mine," she said, winking at me. Well, in my general direction. I decided to claim it.

She nodded at the guy who was playing the music and then turned her back to us.

I took a moment to appreciate what she was wearing. She always looked good, but tonight it was like she was trying to kill me on purpose. She wore jeans that were just tight enough to show off her legs and butt, but not so tight they looked painted on. It was warm for the area, almost 70. To Bella that was cool, but she'd still worn a black top with tiny little straps. I realized with a start that I'd never seen her bare shoulders. She was wearing black shoes with no heels. I grinned. Of course no heels. My Bells wasn't dumb.

The first notes of the music started and I frowned. It wasn't something I recognized immediately. I looked around the table and the guys shrugged. Jill was fairly bouncing in her seat from excitement and Emily looked like the cat that ate the canary. Frustrating women.

I looked back up and Bella had turned her back to the audience and was snapping her fingers in beat with the music, popping her hip slightly. _She can pop her hip and not fall down?_ I thought incredulously.

Then, she started singing. Her voice was lower than I'd thought it would be, huskier. Damn sexy. I found myself leaning towards her, eager to hear the words.

"Never know how much I love you; never know how much I care. When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear."

My jaw dropped. Jill and Emily snickered.

"Fuck me," Quil whispered slowly, mesmerized by Bella's movements.

"I think she'd rather fuck Jacob," murmured Embry, his eyes for once not glued to Jill.

She turned around, still snapping her fingers. The key changed slightly and she started moving around the stage carefully, miraculously not tripping over anything. The men in the room, with the exception of our table, were hooting and whistling. Normally, I would have bristled at it, suppressing the urge to phase and rip some throats out. Now, I couldn't think. Was this some kind of invitation? I felt the blood draining from my extremities.

She finished and stood there a moment, unsure of what to do. She did a little awkward curtsy then came down the stairs, tripping on the last one. The guy in charge of the music caught her and she laughed as she headed our way. Her cheeks were flushed pink, whether from embarrassment or excitement or something else, I couldn't tell, but God it was hot.

"Well?" she asked, suddenly looking nervous.

"Ho-ly SHIT was that awesome!" Quil shouted over the din of the other patrons, who were still clapping and whistling. He jumped up and gave her a hug. "Why didn't you tell us you could sing?"

She shrugged. "It never really came up. I sing to the radio all the time and back home in Phoenix I went to a couple clubs with my friends, but since moving to Forks…" she shrugged. "There's not much opportunity for it here. I'm not that great or anything; I just have fun with it."

She sat down in her seat next to me and grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down. She looked up at me, her brown eyes hopeful. "You haven't said anything."

I shook my head, still amazed. "That was….beyond anything I expected to hear tonight." That should be a good answer, right?

She shrugged, but there was something off. We settled back and dug into the food that had appeared during Bella's performance.

Partway through, it was the girls' turn. Bella made her way over to Leah and sat, talking to her quietly. Leah rolled her eyes, but begrudgingly got up and followed Bella to the stage. Jill practically licked Embry's tonsils before heading up after her. Emily just patted Sam's arm. "Brace yourself," she muttered as she headed up, too.

Once on stage, the girls huddled together, talking animatedly. Leah made to leave, but Bella grabbed her shirt tail and pulled her back in. They turned around and nodded at the music guy. The opening notes were again something I'd never heard. Bella started it out, using that voice that sent tremors all through my body.

"I believe in miracles, where you from, you sexy thing."

I frowned, not really getting it. The girls were mostly back up for Bella, which was probably good. Even without her own mic, you could hear Jill, loud and clearly off key. Gratingly so. Everyone except Embry cringed. He just grinned that stupid goofy grin. Leah still looked annoyed, but at least she was trying….I think. Emily looked slightly embarrassed, but also like she was enjoying herself.

"How did ya know, I needed you so badly? How did ya know I gave my heart gladly? Yesterday I was one of the lonely people, now you're lying next to me, making love to me."

"Dude, she wants you. Make a move!" Quil grinned at me.

"Shut up, she's not like that with me," I grumbled. "Besides, how do you know that Jill didn't pick out this song and it's all directed at Embry?"

"Jake…it's all you."

I looked up at Bella, feeling the rise of hope in my chest. She smiled at me and winked. Shit, she had to stop doing that or she was going to kill me.

The girls finished, bowing as they left the stage. More applause and cheers followed them to the table. Leah's mood seemed to be a little lighter, but not much. She went back to her chair in the corner, but now she was scowling at people not the floor. An improvement. I made a mental note to bring Bella with us every time. Sam and Embry stood up and pulled their girls close in big hugs. I pulled Bella into my lap and squeezed her tight against me. She grunted and I let go.

"You're singing all the time now, I can tell you that," I grinned.

"So does this give me a few years on my age?" she laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "We'll talk about it."

We stayed for a while longer, listening to a few more awful renditions of formerly popular songs. Sam finally pointed out it was close to 10 and we needed to head back so we could get to our patrols. The others headed straight back to La Push, but I headed towards Forks and Bella's house.

The first part of the drive was quiet. She had her head leaned back against the head rest, her eyes closed.

"So, I guess you didn't get it," she said finally, sounding kind of sad.

"Get what?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

She sighed and looked out her window. "You're going to make me spell it out?"

I grinned into the darkness. "Spell what out? You're not making much sense here, Bells."

There was a long silence, then "Fine. It's not as romantic or anything but…I…I think I'm ready to move on."

I didn't say anything, but every muscle in my body was tense. "Move on?"

She make a little throaty growling sound. "Sometimes I hate you."

"Just sometimes?" I teased.

"Yeah, just sometimes."

I slowed down to make the drive back last a little longer, hoping she'd eventually spit it out. At one point I thought she'd fallen asleep, but she finally let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine! You wanna be a big dumb dog, be a big dumb dog. I'm ready to move on from Edward. He's gone and he's not coming back. He doesn't want me and you do. So….fine. I'm yours."

She sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. I frowned. Not exactly how I'd imagined this conversation going in my dreams. It was my turn to say something but I didn't. Not at first.

"So, basically, you're giving up fighting me."

She frowned. "Well, that makes it sound like I don't really want you or something."

"Did you hear what you just said?" I asked incredulously. She was silent, probably going over what she'd said in her mind. She sighed again, softly.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…ugh. I hate this. I wish you could read my mind."

I rolled my eyes. So did I.

We were nearing the city limits now. I knew it wouldn't be long before we were at her house and there'd be little chance of finishing this conversation. I kind of doubted she'd bring it up later. I slowed down even more, going at least five miles under the speed limit.

"Look, Jake," she said finally, turning toward me slightly in her seat. "I was really fucked up when Edward left, you know that. I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm already over it completely and that it'll never hurt me again, because I'm not and it will. I'll always have that scar. But…it IS a scar now, not an open wound. And…you helped me to get to this place where I can stand up in front of a giant crowd of drunk strangers and sing and dance and…" she trailed off. "I find myself thinking about you all the time, wondering about you, what you're doing, where you're going. If you're thinking of me."

The last part was low, so low a normal guy probably would have missed it. "I'm always thinking of you," I said, my hands tightening on the steering wheel. I slowed even more.

She smiled then. "I know you are and it used to kind of bother me but now…I think it's pretty damn sweet." She frowned, unsure of how to continue. "I guess what I'm trying to say is…maybe I don't LOVE you love you, but I love you more than I used to, and in a different way, and I want to see where things go with us, if you do."

I nodded. We were about three blocks away now. I was creeping up the street, my foot not really on the gas at all.

"So, now it's up to you. Do you still want me, as damaged as I am, knowing where I stand?"

I didn't know what to say to that. Did she really not know if I would want her in virtually any state?

"Why the hell are you driving so slowly?" she asked suddenly. "Seriously, I could trip down stairs faster than you're driving. I probably have, come to think of it."

I laughed. "I wanted to draw out these incredibly uncomfortable and awkward moments," I confessed.

She rolled her eyes at me. We were at her house now. I pulled in behind the cruiser and turned to face her myself. She looked at me expectantly. I studied her face. I knew it so well already, I saw it every night when I closed my eyes but still….looking at the real thing was better.

"You wanna know if I want you as you are?" I asked, my voice low. She nodded, her eyes locked to mine. I leaned forward and put my hand behind her neck, pulling her towards me. I kissed her, gently at first, afraid she wouldn't kiss me back like all the other times, but she did. Holy shit did she kiss me back! She finally pulled away from me, laughing as she sucked in a lungful of air. "Does that answer your question?"

She grinned. "Yeah, I think so."

"See you tomorrow?"

She nodded as she grabbed her bag and carefully climbed out of the car.

"Bells," I called, suddenly remembering something from earlier in the night. She turned to me, her eyebrows raised. "What did you say to Leah to get her up on stage?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I appealed to her sense of one-upmanship. I told her I'd heard Emily and Jill sing and figured she probably sings better than they do. Plus, I needed help in attempting to seduce you."

I frowned, not sure how that really made sense, but then, Leah doesn't really make sense. Or Bella, for that matter.

"So…when you say you're thinking about me all the time….does that mean ALL the time?" I asked mischievously.

She flushed dark pink again. "Good night, Jacob," she said, shutting the door to the car.

I laughed. "Good night, Bella." I watched until she was safely inside then I headed the car for home, whistling happily. She wanted me…finally. Wish granted.

_Bella POV_

I tiptoed in, careful not to wake Charlie as I headed upstairs. I miscounted and tripped over the last step, banging my knee hard on the landing.

"OW, fuck," I hissed, grabbing my knee and rubbing it.

"Bella?"

Shit, I'd woken Charlie up. I looked up guiltily. He was standing in the door of his room, his hair messy, wearing his pajamas of a t-shirt and boxers. He had a sleepy but amused expression on his face.

"Hey, Dad. Sorry. I was trying to be quiet."

He chuckled. "Have a good time?" I nodded and he smiled. "Good. I'll see you in the morning." He turned and went back into his room, shutting the door behind him.

I climbed up off the floor awkwardly and limped into my room. It was after 11. Damn Jake and his slow driving. A grin crept across my face as I quickly changed into my pajamas and headed to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Jake.

It had all hit me yesterday when Emily called to warn me that we were going to a karaoke bar. At first, I'd been hesitant. I hadn't sung in front of anyone in ages, definitely not since moving to Forks. But…an idea started rolling around in my head about how I could finally tell Jake what I felt and have some fun with it at the same time. And "Fever" just seemed so perfect. The girls had suggested "You Sexy Thing" and it was fun, too. I'd been so disappointed when Jake hadn't immediately gotten it. He'd looked confused and guarded, like maybe he suspected, but didn't want to hope too much. That made my heart ache. I'd really treated him like shit the past few months if he didn't trust his own instincts anymore when it came to me. I'd pushed him away so many times I was afraid that when I was finally reaching out to him, he'd push me away or hold me at arm's length. I wouldn't have blamed him. I'd done the same thing to him so many times.

I crawled into bed, exhausted. It's amazing how much singing in a karaoke bar and confessing your love to your best friend takes it out of you. As tired as I was, though, I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. What the hell was I getting myself into?

Jake loved me. That was a given. And I loved him. But the question was: did we love each other the same way? And how would our changing our relationship affect our relationship? I didn't want to lose what we had, I valued it too much. I was terrified of becoming something more and then things falling apart. And I was petrified of him imprinting on someone else. It was pretty certain that he wouldn't imprint on me at this point, so obviously there was someone else out there for him, someone better. The other half to make him whole.

I pulled my pillow over my face and groaned into it. Why did I let all this shit get to me? Couldn't I just be happy with him, come what may? Enjoy whatever it was for as long as we had it?

I flopped over, trying to get comfortable. No. I wanted forever with Jake. The realization of that scared me, too. Last time I'd wanted forever hadn't really worked out that well. What if Jake left me, too?

"Shut up and go to sleep," I grumbled out loud to no one in particular.

I finally managed to drift off to sleep when the red numbers on the clock read 2:45.

What felt like only minutes later, Charlie was knocking on my door. He said something about an emergency in town and that he'd be gone most of the day. I mumbled a suitable reply and drifted off again, only to be rudely awakened by the phone ringing. I shuffled into the hallway and answered.

"Hello?" I yawned. The caller hesitated.

"Hey pretty girl, still in bed?"

I frowned. "Jake?" I craned my neck to see the clock in Charlie's room. "What the hell are you doing calling at…6:30 in the morning?"

"I thought Charlie would pick up," he said apologetically.

"He's out. Something about a missing person or murdered person or something. I don't really remember what he said. I'm not good at retaining information when I first wake up." I yawned again. "So what do you want, puppy?"

He chuckled. "I wanted to tell you what we're doing today."

"What." I leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. I wondered how long he'd want to talk before I could go back to bed.

"Wow…don't get too excited on me. You could hurt yourself."

I groaned. "Shut up. It's early."

"Yeah, I got that. Anyway, bring your swimming suit and some warmer clothes. We're going to swim and then there's a bonfire tonight."

I frowned. "Swimming? Isn't the water like, 40 degrees or something?"

"More like the 50's, but its fine. You'll have me, your own personal space heater."

"Sounds thrilling," I muttered. I wasn't a fan of swimming with other people around in warm water, let alone freezing water with a good brisk breeze.

He chuckled. "So, suit, warmer clothes for later. See you around four?"

I sighed. "Yeah, sure. Bye Jake."

"Bye."

I shuffled back to bed, but it was pointless. I couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned until about 7:30 before giving up and heading downstairs. There was plenty I could do to occupy myself.

I decided to skip the shower, since we were going to go swimming anyway and I didn't stink. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, then dug out my swimming suit and a cover up. I pulled out a sweater and pair of jeans to wear later and stuffed them in a duffle. I headed downstairs and made myself a bowl of cereal. I watched some lame cartoons while I ate, then set about cleaning the house. There wasn't tons to do, Charlie and I were pretty neat, but the bathroom and floors needed some attention.

When I was satisfied with the carpets all through the house and that the bathroom was as clean as I could get it, I wandered back downstairs. It was still only about 10:30. I made a sandwich and went upstairs, curling up on my bed with a book. I finished the book and looked up at the clock. Not even 2 yet. I sighed and took my empty plate downstairs and stood in the living room looking around. It was summer, so no homework. I was out of high school, so no reading list. I'd already cleaned. I'd gone to the grocery store the day before. I frowned at the TV. Summer also meant nothing worth watching. I decided to go ahead and just put on my suit and head out to La Push.

Twenty minutes later I was dressed and on my way, my heart pounding. I hoped Jake was ready for me.


	2. Chapter 2: Moving On

_Jake POV_

All night long, I couldn't get Bella out of my mind, much to the annoyance of Embry. He finally huffed and trotted off, leaving me to do the last half hour of patrols on my own. I didn't mind, it'd been quiet all summer anyway.

I decided for our first day together as….whatever the hell we were, I wanted to take her to the beach. I trotted back home, phasing back into human form in the woods just behind the house. The first fingers of dawn were streaking the dark sky with paler shades of gray as I crossed the grass. Dad had left the light on for me, unnecessary, but nice.

I glanced at the clock and noted that it was early, but that Charlie would be up. I could leave a message with him for Bella, then lie down and sleep for a while. I picked up and dialed the phone. It rang a few times before being picked up.

"Hello?"

Shit, it was Bella. From the sounds of it, I'd woken her up. I had to admit, I loved her just woken up voice. It was crazy sexy. "Hey pretty girl, still in bed?"

"Jake?" she sounded confused "What the hell are you doing calling at….6.30 in the morning?"

"I thought Charlie would pick up."

"He's out, some call about a missing person or murdered person or something. I don't really remember what he said. I'm not good at retaining information when I first wake up." She yawned. "So what do you want, puppy?"

I chuckled. "I wanted to tell you what we're doing today."

"What."

"Wow…don't get too excited on me. You could hurt yourself."

She groaned. "Shut up. It's early."

"Yeah, I got that. Anyway, bring your swimming suit and some warmer clothes. We're going to swim and then there's a bonfire tonight."

"Swimming? Isn't the water like, 40 degrees or something?"

"More like the 50's, but its fine. You'll have me, your own personal space heater."

"Sounds thrilling," she muttered drily.

I chuckled. "So, suit, warmer clothes for later. See you around four?"

She sighed. "Yeah sure. Bye Jake."

"Bye."

I headed to my room and collapsed on the bed, falling asleep to dream of Bella.

I woke up a few hours later, feeling somewhat rested, but too anxious to sleep anymore. I pulled on a pair of athletic shorts and headed into the kitchen. I scarfed down a couple sandwiches then headed out to the garage. I was working on a car for one of Dad's friends for some extra cash. Quil and Embry were in the garage looking through some of the car magazines that focused more on plastic women in skimpy clothing draped over hoods and motorcycles than on the vehicles themselves. I rolled my eyes and lowered myself onto the dolly to get underneath the car. I absentmindedly listened to them ogling and pointing out best assets while I worked, my thoughts going back to Bella.

"Hi guys!"

I sat up quickly, surprised, momentarily forgetting about the car I was under. I smacked my head hard enough to see spots. I groaned as I rolled myself out from under the car.

"Hey Bells," I grinned as I stood up, shaking my head slightly to stop the ringing. I grabbed a rag to wipe my hands then pulled her into a hug. She grunted and I let go. "I thought you wouldn't be here until four." I looked her over, hoping against hope for an imprint.

Her hair was pulled up in a messy half ponytail looking thing and she wore a little knee length red dress. Bare legs _and_ shoulders. Shit.

She shrugged and pushed Quil on the shoulder so he'd make room for her on the old couch. "It's the damndest thing. I woke up super early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I ate breakfast, cleaned house, read a book, ate lunch, watched some TV and it was only like, 2 pm! So, I decided to come pick on you losers." She reached over and snatched the magazine Embry was trying to hide between his body and the arm of the couch. She raised her eyebrows. "_Motor Mamas_?"

Embry turned bright red. "They're Quil's," he muttered staring at the floor.

"Dude! Not cool!" Quil exclaimed, punching Embry on the arm.

Embry punched him back and it quickly escalated into a wrestling match. Bella picked up her feet from the concrete and crossed her legs on the couch, watching them with a grin as they rolled onto the floor. I rolled my eyes and picked up a bottle of water and squirted them with it. Quil looked up startled, allowing Embry an opening to get him where it counted with his knee. Quil winced and curled up in the fetal position, hissing curse words. Embry rolled his eyes as he pulled himself up, making an attempt to dust himself off.

"Come on, loser, let's get you home and cleaned up. You smell like a dog. Plus these two need their privacy." He threw his head back, laughing like he'd just made the funniest joke anyone had ever heard. He turned to me and Bella. "See you at the beach later?" I nodded and he helped Quil out the door, still laughing, Quil still shooting him murderous looks.

I looked over at Bella, suddenly nervous. She smiled up at me. "Come sit, we should talk and establish some ground rules."

Ground rules? That sounded fun. I dropped onto the opposite end of the couch and turned to her, waiting. She shifted in her seat so she was facing me, looking somewhat nervous now.

"I want us to keep this a friendship first. I want us to be honest with each other about everything, if possible." I nodded. That sounded reasonable. "As for physical stuff…" she turned that delicious shade of pink again "I think we should just let it come naturally, not try to force it."

Naturally for me would be sex right here right now, but I knew really she meant her pace. I nodded. I could do that.

"Do you have any…rules…or anything?"

I frowned, thinking. "No, I think that's good. Friendship first, complete honesty, slow pace."

She smiled again, relaxing. She held up the magazine the guys had left behind. "So….is this what you're into?" she teased. "Big boobs and skimpy clothes?"

I rolled my eyes and reached for the magazine. "Please. You know me better than that."

She held the magazine out of reach, laughing. "Well, maybe I don't know everything. Maybe you're keeping secrets from me."

I stuck my tongue out at her. She wasn't paying attention, so I made my move, tackling her and tickling her. She writhed under me, laughing so hard tears were leaking out her eyes. I loved feeling her skin, but was careful not to get too personal. Her foot kicked out and hit me dangerously close to a sensitive area, making me stop, still holding her down. She looked up at me with a grin.

"Didn't you say something about going to the beach?" she blurted out as I started to lean towards her.

I sat back, getting the message. "Sure sure. Let me just grab my suit. You need to change?"

She shook her head. "I came over with it on." I noticed then that there were green straps under the red straps.

I nodded. "Cool deal. I'll be back in a second." I ran inside and changed quickly, grabbing a couple towels and a blanket before heading back to the garage.

She was stretched out on the couch, reading _Motor Mamas._ I rolled my eyes and grabbed her foot. "Come on you big lesbo."

She laughed but pushed herself up. "You know I only read it for the articles."

It was a short walk to the beach and I noticed that she shivered slightly when we got closer to the water's edge. Even though it was mid-July, the weather was cooler than usual. The air was in the 60s, so I knew the water would be colder than that. I cast a glance over at her, wondering if she'd chicken out, but her jaw was set, determination in her face. I spread the blanket out on the sand and dropped the towels while she kicked off her shoes and pulled her dress off, dropping it on the sand. _Nice_, I thought, looking at her appreciatively.

She walked towards the water and stopped, a few feet shy of the edge of where the water was lapping at us. She put her hands on her hips and frowned. I looked down at her, questioning. "Ready?"

She shook her head. "I hate the cold. Plus, I'm not a great swimmer. Maybe I'll just play in the shallows or sun or something. I brought a book…" She was losing her will to go through with it. Suddenly, I had an idea.

I scooped her up in my arms and ran into the surf. She threw her arms around my neck shrieking and laughing. When I was about waist deep, I launched her out. She shrieked as she flew through the air, then went silent as she submerged. She came up spluttering and shot me a glare.

"Fuck that's c-c-cold," she exclaimed, swimming towards me.

I grinned. "Yeah, but it's better to just do it all at once, then it's not so bad." She was standing in front of me now, still glaring.

"Is that true, puppy. Then how come you're still half dry?"

"Because you're not big enough to dunk me," I taunted.

She scowled at me. "You know how I said that sometimes I hate you? This is one of those times." She launched herself at me with a little growl, laughing at the same time. I caught her easily and we fell back, both going under.

We splashed around in the water for a while, coming out when the others showed up. I noticed then that she was shivering and covered in goose bumps. I wrapped both towels around her and chafed her arms to bring some heat back. She leaned into me, resting her cheek against my chest.

Before too long, the others in the pack had gotten the fire going, deciding not to wait until sunset like usual. Emily passed around plates heaped with food and we eagerly dug in. Bella sat comfortably against me, using my chest as a back support. We'd sat like this lots of times, but this time it felt different, a little more…intimate.

She got full before she finished her plate, so she passed it to me and I inhaled the last of her burger and chips, wiping my hands on my shorts before putting my arms around her again. She sighed contentedly then made a little grumbling sound as she pulled forward.

"My hair," she explained. "It's never gonna dry if I don't take it down." She tugged the hair tie out and let her long dark hair fall down. It smacked me in the chest, leaving a cold wet trail as she leaned over and turned her head so the curtain of her hair was facing the fire and she was facing me. She smiled as she fingered through it.

"Come here," I instructed, turning her slightly. She frowned but complied. I started at her hairline and gently combed my fingers through the wet strands, carefully pulling out the knots as I hit them. She sighed contentedly and wrapped her arm around my leg and leaned against it.

When I had the knots worked out, I carefully divided her hair into two sections and started to braid it.

"You know how to braid?" she asked surprised.

"Hello, Indian."

She rolled her eyes. "I should have known." She laughed. "I can just imagine you with a couple dozen little braids all over your head, sticking up everywhere."

I snorted. "Yeah, that'd be attractive. A Rasta Indian. I'd for sure be unique then."

"Yeah, poor you, being just one of the pack."

I grinned and tied off the ends of the braids, using her hair tie and the thong I tied my clothes to my ankle with when I phased. She smiled up at me then took her spot back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling the blanket up around us. I didn't need it, but she still felt cooler than she should. Before too long, I could tell from the deep even breathing that she was asleep. I grinned and pulled her closer to me.


	3. Chapter 3: Sleeping

_Jake's POV_

"Bells? Honey, wake up." She frowned and curled tightly into my chest. I lifted her up in my arms and started towards the house. Her eyes opened, startled. She grabbed on to my neck, looking around wildly.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily.

I chuckled. "You fell asleep. The party's over. I'm gonna drive you home now, ok?"

"What time is it?"

"Midnight."

Her eyes widened and she wriggled herself loose from my hold. "Shit! Charlie's going to be so pissed."

"I'll drive fast," I promised.

She rolled her eyes and dug through her bag, pulling out her cell phone. She punched in the house number and waited. I could hear her heart pounding and the phone ringing. After 5 rings, the machine picked up. She breathed a slow sigh of relief, and then frowned at the phone.

"I have a message," she explained, putting the phone to her ear.

She sighed with relief again as she flipped the phone closed. "Charlie's not home, he won't be home until late."

"Good, then we have time to mess around before I leave," I said with a wicked grin.

She made a face. "Jake, it doesn't make sense for you to drive me home then drive back and leave me without a car. And I don't want you running all the way home from Forks. I'll just…" she yawned. "Shit. I'm too tired." We walked in comfortable silence for a moment, then she looked up at me. "What if I stay with you?"

My heart skipped a beat. Instantly all kinds of devious thoughts flashed across my mind. I'd seen more of Bella's body today than I ever had before. I felt a grin creep across my face at the prospect of seeing more of it…and getting to touch.

"I mean, obviously we won't sleep together. I'll sleep on the couch or something."

Oh...right…taking things slow. "Sure sure. But you can have the bed. I'll take the couch." I wouldn't have it any other way….right? _You're such a liar._ I thought to myself, shaking my head in disgust. I had Bella here with me, as a…something…and I wasn't content. I wanted more. I wanted all of her. Stupid teenage hormones. As if going through puberty wasn't bad enough, I had to do it as a horny werewolf.

We got to the house and it was quiet. "Dad must already be in bed," I whispered, holding a finger up to my lips. She nodded and followed me into my bedroom.

It felt weird having her in there, and I was embarrassed that I hadn't cleaned up a little before she came. I kicked some of the dirty clothes aside to clear a path.

"Shit, Jake, are you sure you're not a werepig?" she snickered. I grinned as I moved to clear off the bed.

"Do you want to take a shower before bed?"

She yawned. "No, I'm afraid I'd fall asleep in the shower and drown or crack my head open or something."

"I'll come play lifeguard." She shot me a look. I tried to look innocent, but I was pretty sure I wasn't pulling it off. "So…no shower. Do you need anything? Nightlight? Water? Big beautiful Indian man to hold you close all night long?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "How about something to sleep in?"

"Ah, that I can handle pretty easily." I made my way to the dresser, scanning the room to see if there was anything more embarrassing than piles of dirty clothes that I needed to hide. Thankfully, I kept the embarrassing stuff hidden pretty well. I dug through the middle drawer, finding a pair of shorts I hadn't worn in a couple years and grabbed a t-shirt. I turned around and froze. She'd stripped off the red dress and was waiting expectantly for the clothes I held in my hand. I guess my face was pretty…interesting, because she flushed and grabbed the shorts from me, her face turning red.

"Get over it," she muttered, reaching for the t-shirt, too.

Impulsively, I caught her arm and pulled her close to me, lowering my head swiftly and pressing my lips to hers. I wrapped my free arm around her waist, pressing her body against mine. She sighed softly against my lips, returning the kiss. It was perfect…or would have been, if Dad hadn't wheeled in right then.

"What the hell?!" he exclaimed, sounding more shocked than upset. We jumped back from each other as if we were caught doing something wrong. Bella's face was so red I wondered if she had any blood anywhere else. "Both of you, in the living room NOW!" Dad backed up and wheeled himself into the other room. I rolled my eyes and followed him. Bella snatched the t-shirt out of my hand as I passed and pulled it over her head as she followed me.

We sat down on the couch, leaving a cushion between us. Bella picked at the hem of the shirt nervously. I looked up at Dad, wanting to explain but knowing from the look on his face that he was not open to discussion just yet. He scowled at me, clearly angry.

"What the hell are you doing, Jake?" he demanded. Bella's head popped up.

"Nothing," I replied calmly. "It's too late for Bells to drive back tonight, so we decided she should just sleep here in my bed while _I_" I caught his eye to make sure he got the next few words "slept on the couch. She didn't have anything to sleep in, so I was grabbing some shorts and a t-shirt for her."

"I'm so so sorry, Billy," Bella said suddenly. "I didn't think you'd mind, seriously. I can head back now if you want." She moved to stand up but Dad waved her down.

He studied my face, then looked at Bella. "So that's your swimming suit you're wearing? Not some kind of fancy lingerie?"

She lowered her head into her hands, beyond mortified. I grinned, enjoying this more than I should. Bella in fancy lingerie. That was a nice mental image.

"Alright, I guess I may have jumped the gun a little." Bella looked up, surprised. "Jake, I trust you. You're not stupid." He eyed me for a moment. "Don't make me regret that last statement. You're on the couch." He looked at Bella. "You're always welcome here; don't ever think you're not. I'll call your dad and explain things tomorrow. I'll see you two in the morning." He turned around and wheeled out of the living room and into his room.

We sat in silence for a minute, then Bella turned to me, her eyes wide. "He just…believes you?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged. "I've never given him a reason not to."

"Damn. Charlie would have shit a brick, shot you, then started asking questions."

I laughed. "It's been just the two of us for a while. I tell him everything."

She shook her head, amazed. She yawned again then stood up and stretched. The t-shirt hung down to mid-thigh, so all I got to see was a little more leg as it rode up. It was better than nothing. She looked at me and frowned.

"No ogling," she muttered punching me in the shoulder lightly. I chuckled and followed her back into my room. I handed her the shorts from where she'd dropped them on the floor and she disappeared into the bathroom down the hall to change. I started picking things up as quickly as I could, glad, not for the first time, for super speed.

By the time she got back, I'd picked up all the shit from the floor and had made the bed look somewhat more appealing, straightening the sheets. I frowned, trying to remember when I'd last changed them. She came up and put her arms around my waist, pressing a kiss against my bare back. I turned and looked at her with surprise. She flushed. "Felt right," she murmured. I grinned and pulled her tight against me, not tight enough to make her grunt and need to be released, but tight enough that I could feel her against me….and feel that she wasn't wearing underwear.

I released her and stood back quickly. She looked up at me quizzically. "Don't want Dad to come in and catch us again," I said, turning red. She grinned at me then looked at the bed.

"You should leave now. I'll feel weird getting into your bed with you standing there."

I rolled my eyes but complied. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head as I left the room. I grabbed a spare blanket and pillow from the hall closet and tried to make myself comfortable on the couch. It was about a foot and a half too short for me. It was somewhat ok for a nap, but it wouldn't be a good night's sleep. I punched the pillow and lay down, determined to sleep.

I lay in the dark, listening to the sounds of the house as it settled around me. I could hear into the woods behind the house as some small animal skittered through the dry leaves. I could hear the faint sound of the waves pounding on the shore at the beach a couple miles away. I could hear the hum of the refrigerator as the motor kicked in. I listened to Dad's breathing and could tell he was asleep. Bella wasn't quite, but she was close. My mind was wired, like I'd just had a gallon of coffee. I hated lying awake at night. This was when the questions about Bella and imprinting seemed bigger and worse than they were. I wanted to flip on the TV and channel surf, but figured that'd probably wake everyone up. I listened as a storm blew in from off shore, bringing with it torrents of rain. Now I was really glad Bella hadn't driven home. There was no telling if she'd actually be there by now and I didn't really enjoy running around in the cold rain. As the first drops of rain started to beat against the roof and windows, I finally dropped off to sleep.

I woke up a couple hours later to Bella crying and calling my name. I leapt off the couch and ran into my room, practically ripping the door off the hinges. I stared into the darkness, making out her small frame curled up in a ball under the covers. She was still asleep, tears streaming down her face.

"Jacob," she sobbed.

I sat on the edge of the bed, unsure of what exactly to do, but knowing that I needed to comfort her. I reached out and touched her and her eyes flew open, terrified. She looked at me, frightened, not recognizing me at first, then threw herself into my lap, sobbing against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and scooted further back on the bed. I rocked her gently and rubbed circles on her back. Gradually her sobs eased and she quieted. Finally she looked up at me, her eyes and the tip of her nose red. Damn, she was even beautiful when she cried.

"I had a bad dream," she said, sounding tired. "I always have bad dreams when there are storms."

I nodded and smoothed the hair that had come out of her braids.

"I was back in the woods," she went on. "Only…it wasn't Edward that had left me. It was you." I bristled. "You imprinted and left me." Her voice broke and she pressed her face against my neck.

"I will NEVER leave you," I said emphatically. She looked up at me sadly.

"You can't know that. You haven't imprinted on me, so there's obviously someone else out there for you, someone better." I scowled. I pulled her closer against me.

"No one is better than you."

She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder, quiet for a moment. "Can I join you on the couch? I don't want to sleep alone." I nodded and stood up, grabbing the quilt off the bed and awkwardly wrapping it around her.

I carried her into the living room and settled her on the couch and took the floor beside her. She looked down at me with so much sadness in her eyes I wanted to break something or do something to make it stop. She reached out a hand and wove her fingers in my hair, stroking it softly. I sighed and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

Her fingers gradually slowed, then her hand hung limp as she finally drifted back to sleep. There was no way in hell I was sleeping now.

_Bella's POV_

It was weird sleeping in Jake's bed. The pillows and sheets smelled like him. The quilt didn't but I figured that was because he didn't really need it. I wondered absentmindedly how he even fit on this bed. It wasn't very big and I was quite comfortable in it. I felt my face get hot in the darkness as I thought that. I rolled my eyes at myself and snuggled down in the blankets. I could hear the first drops of rain on the roof above me as I drifted off to sleep.

I was walking through the meadow, mine and Edward's meadow. It was warmer than I'd ever experienced in Forks, almost as warm as Phoenix. The grasses were taller than the last time I'd been there, brushing lightly against my bare legs. Jake was standing on the other side, smiling at me, reaching out to me and I started to run towards him. Even in my dream, I could tell it was so corny, but I was loving every moment of it.

I reached Jake and he laughed and pulled me close against him, kissing me and lifting me up off the ground. Then he stopped and dropped me unceremoniously on the ground and stared at me in disgust.

"You're not it, Bella. Why am I wasting my time with you?"

I stared up at him, stunned. "Jake…I don't understand."

He lowered himself down to my level. "You're not my imprint," he hissed at me. "I'm not going to waste another second on your whining and pining over a bloodsucker. If you can't accept what's right in front of you then fuck you."

I was crying now. "Jake, please. I need you."

"You only want me around because I'm safe. I'm not safe, Bella," he was angry now and I was scared. "I would have given you everything and stayed with you forever if you had picked me."

"I choose you now," I sobbed. "Please Jake, I love you, I choose you now and always."

I reached for his hand and he shook me off. His face was sad now. "I'm sorry, Bells, I always loved you but that wasn't enough for you. I've got to look after myself now." Suddenly he peered at something in the distance intently. I turned my head and saw a beautiful woman in a billowy white dress smiling at him. He stood up and started towards her, a big grin on his face. "It's her. She's the one, Bells."

"No, Jake," I begged. "Please, don't leave me. I'll be whatever you want. I'll say or do whatever it takes to keep you."

He ignored me as I called after him. He walked purposefully towards the woman, catching her up in his arms and kissing her. They started walking away and the sky clouded over, bringing with it thunder and lightning and torrents of rain. I stumbled after them, crying and tripping. My knees and palms were bloodied and I was scared and lost, still calling Jake's name.

Suddenly, something in the real world touched me and I jerked awake, terrified. I looked around wildly, confused as to where exactly I was. I saw a face looking at me and the lightning flashed then, illuminating worried eyes. Jake.

I threw myself into his lap, sobbing and clinging to him. He held me tightly and rocked slightly as he tried to sooth me. I finally calmed down enough that I wasn't hysterical. I looked up at him, too exhausted to be embarrassed.

"I had a bad dream. I always have bad dreams when it storms."

He nodded and smoothed my hair.

"I was in the meadow," I went on. "Only…it wasn't Edward that had left me. It was you." He stiffened. "You imprinted and left me." My voice broke and I pressed my face against his neck.

"I will NEVER leave you," he said firmly. I looked up at him sadly.

"You can't know that. You haven't imprinted on me, so there's obviously someone else out there for you, someone better." He scowled and pulled me closer.

"No one is better than you."

I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder, quiet for a moment. "Can I join you on the couch? I don't want to sleep alone."

He stood up wordlessly, grabbing the quilt off the bed and awkwardly wrapping it around me. He carried me into the living room and settled me on the couch and took the floor. I looked down him, trying to memorize his wonderful face. He looked angry and frustrated. I reached out a hand and started to stroke his hair softly. He calmed somewhat and closed his eyes. I kept stroking his hair, almost like petting a dog, until I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4: Eating

_Jake's POV_

I woke up stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor. I hadn't really intended to sleep, but I had eventually dropped off around 5. Bella was still sleeping, curled up into a tight ball, only her dark braids sticking out from the top of the quilt. I swallowed a groan as I lifted myself off the floor and headed into the bathroom.

When I came out, I could hear Dad moving around in the kitchen and I headed that way to see what was up for breakfast. He was wheeling himself around expertly, sautéing at least a pound of bacon in a large skillet with another one set up frying what looked to be an even dozen eggs.

"Awe, thanks Dad, you made me breakfast. What are you and Bells going to eat?" I teased, snitching a piece of bacon out of the skillet and eating it, ignoring the heat of the grease.

Dad smacked my hand with the spatula. "I expect you to share some with Bella. I already ate, but surely you can spare her a couple slices and an egg or two?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm a growing boy, it might stunt my growth."

"That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

We both turned, surprised to see Bella standing in the doorway, still wrapped in the quilt. She had a sleepy grin on her face. "Thanks for making breakfast, Billy, but I should probably get on my way now." She hitched the blanket up around her shoulders to keep it from falling off.

"It's no problem, I like having you here. Plus, the storms last night knocked a couple of trees down and the road back to Forks is blocked."

"Oh." She shifted, nervously, placing one bare foot on top of the other. "Should I call Charlie?"

"I did that this morning. He hadn't really noticed you were gone, what with everything happening last night. He was relieved you were here and not at the house. Apparently, the storm did a lot of damage all over town. You're welcome to stay the day, or until the road opens up again."

She nodded and yawned. "Well, if you're sure you two don't mind." She grinned up at me. "Which I guess is kind of a dumb statement."

Dad chuckled and motioned to the small table. She shuffled over to it, still wrapped in the quilt. I quickly grabbed two plates and piled them high with eggs and bacon. Dad put some toast on a small plate and put that on the table, along with the butter and jam from the fridge. I poured a couple of glasses of juice and then settled down across from Bella. Dad wheeled himself out of the kitchen to let us eat in privacy, assuring us he would get the dishes when we were done eating. That was his hint to me that I was in charge of clean up.

Bella dug in, but only ate a few bites before stopping and staring at me. I froze, my fork half way to my mouth. "What?" I asked, lowering it.

"Do you even chew, or do you just…inhale everything?" she asked with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Growing boy, high metabolism, yadda yadda yadda," I mumbled as I ate a piece of bacon.

She chuckled, taking a sip of her juice. "How does Billy pay the grocery bills? You could almost literally eat him out of house and home. And Emily!" she laughed. "She's always feeding the whole pack. I wonder sometimes where the money for all that food comes from." She shook her head and resumed eating.

She ate neatly, daintily. Small bites that were chewed thoroughly before the next was taken. I watched as she carefully spread first butter, then strawberry jam on a piece of toast. After she'd eaten her fill she swapped her plate, which was still easily 2/3 full, for my empty one. I polished off the remainder of the toast and her food while she stood up, draping the quilt carefully over the back of her chair. She carried the empty plates over to the counter, making a neat pile of plates and skillets and utensils.

"Bells, you don't have to…" I started as she stopped up the sink and began to fill it with hot water and soap.

"Oh shut up. It's the least I can do. I plan on showering here in a bit, so I need to feel like I've earned it."

I was momentarily stunned to silence at the thought of Bella naked in my shower. Shit. Maybe if I was sneaky I could "accidentally" walk in on her or something. Probably not the best idea, especially with Dad still here.

She took my now empty plate and glass and started washing up, moving quickly and efficiently as though she knew this kitchen as well as her own. I guess we were pretty predictable as to where we put things. She was humming softly under her breath. I cocked my head slightly, trying to hear what it was. Something else I didn't know. Shit…did I know anything she did?

She finished and turned to me. She burst out laughing when she saw my face. "You look like a puppy with your head like that. What are you doing?" She was leaning against the sink, one foot propped up against the cabinet under it. The sunlight was coming through the window over the sink, lighting up red and gold in her messy hair. I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I was just trying to figure out what you were humming," I admitted. "You were humming really low and I couldn't quite hear it." I was standing in the middle of the kitchen somewhat awkwardly. She grinned up at me.

"You could have asked."

"Well, what was it?"

She stepped closer to me, still smiling. She reached up a hand and put it lightly on my bare chest. "Something you've never heard of, I'm sure."

I grinned and put my arms around her waist, pulling her lightly to me. "Well, try me. I might surprise you."

"As if."

"Oh, so suddenly you're one of the chicks from _Clueless_?"

She looked up at me surprised. "You know that movie?"

I rolled my eyes. "I do have older sisters you know."

She chuckled and slid her arms around my waist. We were standing against each other now, still in the middle of the kitchen. I leaned down hesitantly and paused. She smiled again.

"I won't push you away, Jake."

I grinned before swooping down and kissing her the way I'd been dreaming of for months. No, scratch that. YEARS. She sighed softly and moved her arms up around my neck, pulling me closer. I squeezed her against me, loving how she felt, how soft she was.

I might have gotten carried away and tried to move somewhere more…comfortable…had Dad not taken that moment to come into the kitchen and cough. Bella jerked away from me, her face bright red.

"Hope I'm disturbing something," Dad said with a grin. "I'm on my way to the store. Sue's picking me up, Jake, I figured you'd want to hang out with Bella." He looked back and forth between us, my uncomfortable state, Bella's bright red face. "Maybe I was wrong?"

"No, Dad, we'll be fine," I said, more calmly than I felt. "Run along and play, Bells and I will be ok. Maybe we'll go swimming again." Her head popped up at that.

"Oh hell no, no way am I getting back in that water." She turned to Dad. "Do you know how cold that water is?"

Dad was laughing as he wheeled himself out. "You kids behave. I'll be back before dinner."

We could hear him cackling as we put the dishes away. He was still laughing when Sue showed up a few minutes later. I went outside and helped load him in, then headed back inside.

Bella was sitting cross legged on the couch, flipping through channels aimlessly. She looked up when I walked in to the living room. "I meant what I said about swimming. That shit is too cold for my delicate constitution."

I laughed. "Then, princess, what do you suggest we do today?"

She shrugged and turned her attention back to the TV. "I figured we'd start off with some sex, then lunch, maybe a walk followed by more sex until your dad got home."

My jaw dropped and my vision tunneled. "Wait…what?"

She started laughing. "Horny fucker. I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Then you can entertain me by telling me jokes or dancing or something. Be my court jester."

"So….no sex then."

She rolled her eyes. "Shit, Jake. We've only been together for like, 36 hours. I don't want you to think I'm easy."

"I don't think you're easy. I've been waiting for you for, what, 18 years?"

She snorted. "You're only 17, Einstein."

"Either way, I would never call you easy." I settled myself on the couch next to her to see what she was watching. Some cooking show. Why did the stuff they were cooking look like sex on a plate? Shit, I _was_ a horny fucker.

"Look, Jake, I promise it'll happen. Just not so soon. Give me at least a month."

"A month, huh." I grinned at her and traced a finger along her forearm. "Can I at least try for it sooner?"

She punched my arm, not hurting me, but amusing nonetheless. "No. Do it, and the deadline gets extended."

"Bitch."

"Ass."

I leaned over and gave her a kiss. "You want the shower first?"

"Definitely. Who wants to shower after an undersexed teenage boy?" she got up and headed into the bathroom, winking at me as she closed the door.

We didn't talk about the previous night, even though I wanted to. I could see that she didn't so I didn't bring it up. It bothered me that she thought that I would leave her if I imprinted, but not as much as the fact that she was right. If I imprinted, I WOULD leave. I wouldn't really have a choice. But, even knowing that I might one day leave her, she was still here, leaning against me as we watched some lame 80's action movie on TV. She fell asleep with her head on my chest and my arm around her.

She smelled like my shampoo, and I had to admit I got a little thrill knowing she'd used my bath stuff. We spent the entire afternoon watching movies on TV. Well, I watched, Bella slept most of it. I loved having her there, with me and WITH me. It had been a shitty year for everyone since Edward left. All she could think about was him, even when she was with me and the guys.

I hated that now that things were finally going somewhere, we couldn't spend every moment together. School was starting next week for me and a couple weeks later for her. _At least she's not going far_ I thought, glad she'd decided to enroll in the local community college until she figured out what she wanted to do.

I stroked her hair absentmindedly as another explosion light up the screen. She snuggled closer to me, sighing softly in her sleep. "Please don't go," she said sadly.

I squeezed her tightly against me. "I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl," I whispered as I kissed her head. "No matter what."

_Bella's POV_

I was glad Jake didn't bring up the nightmares of the previous night. I wasn't really up to talking about it. We had a nice quiet afternoon and I finally decided to head back about 4, promising to turn around if there were any road blocks or wash outs or anything. Jake walked me to the truck, kissing me passionately. He had to help me into the car and I still managed to slip off the step and smack my shin. I hissed and Jake chuckled softly, lifting me into the truck.

"Drive safe, Bells," he grinned at me. I rolled my eyes and headed out.

The drive was easy. There wasn't anything in the roads other than leaves and twigs. I made it back to Forks and beat Charlie home, so I set to work on dinner quickly. He came in just as I pulled the chicken out of the oven.

"Smells good," he said tiredly, hanging his jacket on a hook by the door. He settled himself down at the table and I put a plate in front of him. He dug in hungrily and I wondered if he'd eaten much in the past 48 hours. "How was your day at La Push?" he asked, looking up at me.

I shrugged. "It was fine. I hung out with the guys some, then we went swimming and had a bonfire catered by Emily."

He nodded. "I'm sorry I was out all night last night, I hope it wasn't too much of an inconvenience to the Blacks for you to stay there. You behaved yourself, I'm sure."

I grinned. "I was good. I cleaned up after breakfast this morning and babysat Jake this afternoon."

He grunted. "Jake. I want to talk to you about that." Shit. I hoped he wasn't planning on having the sex talk with me. "What exactly is going on with you two?"

I toyed with my fork. "I think we're dating."

"Think?"

I sighed. "Well, we haven't come right out and defined it as a dating relationship, but…its definitely more than it was."

"Kissing?"

"Dad." I was turning red.

"Sex?"

"Shit, Dad," I exclaimed before I could stop myself. He raised his eyebrows at me, nonplussed by the swearing. I rolled my eyes. "Kissing yes. Sex no. Not that I'd tell you if we _were _having sex. I mean, would you even _want_ to know?"

He chuckled. "No, probably not. I'm just trying to be a good parent here."

"You _are_ a good parent, Dad."

He smiled at me. "Well, if Renee asks, and I'm sure she will, we discussed sex."

"oh gross. Please, Renee had that conversation with me years ago."

He chuckled and then pushed back his empty plate. "As long as you know to be safe and all that."

I stood up and took the plates from the table. "Got it," I muttered, my face bright red I'm sure.

He squeezed my arm and he moved past me into the living room. He was already asleep in his chair with the tv on when I headed upstairs a little while later. I grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over him.

My phone buzzed as I was crawling into bed to read. I picked it up and frowned. Jake was calling me.

"What could you possibly have to say that couldn't be said in the last 24 hours?"

He laughed. "I wanted to see how things went with Charlie."

"Fine. He asked if we're having sex."

He snorted. "And you told him…?"

"The truth, asshat. I told him we weren't having sex."

"Disappointing. I wonder what he would have said if you told him we were."

"Well, your testicles would probably become an endangered species for one thing. Then I'd be locked up in my room until I was 35 or something."

He laughed. "You're 18, he can't really control you, you know."

"His house, his rules. Something like that anyway."

"I don't see Charlie being that much of an ass, but whatever. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure, sure," I grinned. "Bye."

"Bye, Bells."


	5. Chapter 5: Ending

_Jake's POV_

We fell into a pretty regular routine after that. Our classes would get out about the same time, so we'd meet up at Bella's house and hang out and do homework while watching a movie or listening to the radio or something. I'd stay through dinner, trying to help cook and clean up, but really just getting more in Bella's way. She'd just laugh and shoo me into the other room to watch TV. God, I loved it when she laughed.

Charlie would get home around 6 and the three of us would eat together, then Bella and I would clean up. Charlie didn't mind if we hung out in her room afterwards, as long as the door stayed open.

Weekends were spent in La Push, hanging out in the garage on rainy days, walking on the beach on clear days. There was always lots of kissing involved. When I had a car to work on, she'd bring a book or magazine or something and curl up on the old couch to read, sometimes humming along with the radio.

It was a lot like "before" but at the same time, completely different. Now, if I wanted to, I could walk over to the couch and kiss her, or wrap my arms around her and nuzzle the back of her neck while she cooked or washed dishes. I didn't make her blush with embarrassment when she caught me staring at her. She still blushed, but it was with pleasure. She LIKED me looking at her. That shit would never get old.

One Saturday, I had the late patrol, not getting home until almost dawn. I collapsed on my bed and zonked out, waking up around noon. I shuffled into the kitchen for something to eat and saw a note taped to the fridge.

_Jake,_

_Went fishing with Charlie for the weekend. Bella said she'd probably stay here with you all weekend so she's not alone. No funny business. _

_Dad_

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't do anything funny if I wanted to. Bella was like the sentinel to the gates of heaven or something. Nothing got past her. I ate a couple bowls of cereal and while I was rinsing out my bowl, I saw her truck parked outside. I frowned. Why didn't she come in to the house?

I wiped my hands on my shorts and headed outside.

"Bells?" I called.

"In here," her voice floated out from the garage. Strange, she usually would have come bounding out to meet me. I heard sounds of movement as I neared the garage.

I turned the corner and froze. Before me was one of the most amazing things I had ever seen.

Bella was wearing nothing but a skimpy black bikini, her long dark hair loose around her shoulders and tumbling down her back. She had on some super high black heels and was sitting on my motorcycle. She grinned at me nervously.

"I'm not really _Motor Mama_ material, but…" she trailed off and looked at me expectantly.

I was speechless. What was I supposed to say? Or do? I stood there like a fucking idiot, ogling her without shame. Her cheeks flushed pink under my stare.

"Shit Jake, say something." She sat back on the bike and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Is it my birthday?" I finally managed. "Or Christmas?"

She grinned. "So….you like?"

"Fuck…who wouldn't?" She shrugged.

I walked towards her slowly, the thought suddenly occurring to me that this could very well be another one of my super vivid dreams. I reached out a finger and lightly poked her arm. She raised an eyebrow at me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just making sure you're real." I circled her, taking it all in. I stopped when I'd reached the front of the bike again. It was then that I noticed she was shivering slightly. It was pretty cool out here. Early October in Washington wasn't typically that warm…and she wasn't really wearing…anything.

I crossed the short distance between us and wrapped my arms around her, easily lifting her off the bike, and carried her to the couch. I settled her on it and wrapped the blanket she'd brought out around her shoulders. She looked slightly disappointed when I sat across from her, eyeing the long legs sticking out from under the blanket. She sighed and kicked off the shoes and tucked her feet up under her.

"So, I've really got you trained, huh puppy."

"What do you mean?"

She snorted. "Here I am, practically throwing myself at you, and your first instinct is to wrap me in blankets and get the hell away from me. After a proper look, of course."

I raised my eyebrows. "I can assure you, that was NOT my first instinct. I just figured you would tell me when you want me to let that instinct take over."

She laughed. "Shit Jake, what more do you need than your girlfriend, who is ALWAYS cold, dressed in practically nothing and draped over your bike? Neon letters? The clouds to part and a light to shine down and spell out "Do her" in 9 foot letters?"

"That'd be pretty awesome actually. Is any of that a possibility?"

She kicked at me, but I caught her foot and held it, wrapping my hand around her ankle.

"So, you're telling me…you're ready?"

She nodded, nervously biting her lower lip.

"And you won't like, push me away or scream rape or anything?" she rolled her eyes but shook her head.

I pulled myself towards her, wrapping her leg around my waist. "Then you definitely won't need this blanket."

God, I LOVED this couch.

Bella sang while making dinner that night, and I wasn't so much of a bother in the kitchen, though I did almost cause dinner to be burned by kissing her neck and shoulder and distracting her. She finally shrugged me away and instructed me to set the table. That I could handle. We fell asleep on the couch watching an old movie. I woke up about 3 for my patrol shift and carried her into my room to sleep the rest of the night. She pulled my neck down so she could kiss me goodbye, then snuggled against my pillow. I decided I was going to like this sexually active with my girlfriend thing. Not that I ever doubted that.

When I got back from patrol, she was shivering, and I kicked myself for not turning the heat up. The temperature had dropped pretty rapidly overnight and the house was cooler than normal. I turned the heat up a little, then climbed under the covers. She relaxed almost immediately, pulling me closer to her and wrapping herself around me to absorb my heat. I grinned into the darkness as I wrapped my arms around her and fell asleep.

"So what's on tap for today?" Bella asked expectantly. She was sitting at the kitchen table wearing my old t-shirt…and nothing else. It was pretty distracting.

"You mean we have to leave the house?" I joked.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Yeah, we can't just stay here fucking like rabbits. I need a break. Anything interesting going on?"

I frowned, trying to remember. "Well, tonight's the last bonfire of the season. The weather's going to be really cold really early this year, so we're doing it tonight."

"Oh cool. Well, let's go to Sam and Emily's and you can bum around with the guys while I help Emily cook. I need outside companionship. All you wanna do involves me naked."

I shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

She laughed. "No, I'm just saying. There are other activities out there in the world that you can do with your girlfriend."

"Nothing as fun or enjoyable."

"Horny puppy."

"Damn straight."

"I'm taking a shower. You clean up."

"If I'm quick, can I join you?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Seriously? You want to try sex in the shower? With me? Are you TRYING to kill me?"

I grinned. "I'm pretty good at catching you when you fall."

She laughed. "See you in five?"

When we got to Sam and Emily's, the guys were outside having a heated discussion about something. Bella and I exchanged looks, then she headed inside while I went to see what the argument was about.

"I'm not doing it," Quil was saying, his arms crossed over his chest defiantly. "You can't make me."

"What are you, four? Just do it for crying out loud."

"No. I'll look stupid."

"We ALL will, asswipe. That's the point."

"We'll all look stupid doing what?" I asked, clapping Embry on the shoulder as a greeting.

Sam turned to me and quickly explained the surprise that he and Embry had cooked up for the girls for the bonfire that night. I roared with laughter. This we HAD to do. Bells would love it.

"Oh, you're doing it, my friend. And you'll like it." I grinned at Quil, who's scowl deepened.

"I hate you mother fuckers. I really do."

Bella snuggled against me as we all sat around the fire, laughing and joking. Charlie eyed us, but didn't say anything. Dad cleared his throat, attempting to start the story telling portion of the evening.

"Before we get into that, Billy, if you don't mind, the guys have something first."

Dad raised his eyebrows, but gestured for them to continue. I kissed Bella on the top of the head, then stood up to join the others on the other side of the fire. She frowned, not terribly pleased her heat source had left but I knew she was curious as to what was going on.

Sam pressed play on the small CD player he'd brought out and we all waited while the opening chords of the music played. A big smile broke across Bella's face and she started laughing as we started attempting to sing. Quil was in the back, scowling at everyone.

"Dark in the City, night is a wire, Steam in the subway, Earth is a fire."

Emily caught it then and started laughing. They were the only ones who "got" it, but everyone seemed to enjoy our awkward dancing and singing. Then came the chorus and I thought Dad would fall out of his chair, he was laughing so hard. He'd heard through the grapevine about the night at the karaoke bar, and had figured that Bella's songs had probably had something to do with us becoming a couple the next day.

"In touch with the ground, I'm on the hunt I'm after you, Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd, And I'm hungry like the wolf."

Even Charlie chuckled then, he'd seen us eat and figured it had something to do with that. Little did he know. I suddenly wondered how he'd feel about his daughter dating a werewolf.

Bella jumped up with us and started singing along, much to my pleasure. I wrapped my arms around her as we finished out the song. Then, spurred on by the adrenaline rush of singing in front of people, and the past two days with Bella, I kissed her deeply, dipping her backwards like in old movies. Her arms grabbed my neck and she laughed against my mouth. Perfect ending to a pretty damn good summer.


	6. Chapter 6: Waiting

_Bella's POV_

"Oh shit. Oh SHIT!"

I looked up, confused.

"What happened, Jake?" I asked, suddenly scared.

He looked up at me, his eyes wide. "The condom broke. Oh shit, Bells."

I stared at him, not fully comprehending at first. "Fuck," I hissed, pushing him off of me and running into the bathroom. I grabbed a washcloth and wiped at myself, then sat down on the toilet and peed.

"What the hell?"

I felt my cheeks get hot. "I read somewhere that peeing right after sex can sometimes hinder conception. Acidity or some shit."

He grinned and I glared at him.

"You got any better ideas?"

He shook his head, his smile dropping. "But, you just had your period like last week, right? It's too soon for…whatever…right?"

I shook my head. "Two weeks, genius. It's probably perfect timing." I wiped again, then flushed and turned on the shower. "Fuck, Jake, how old was that condom?"

His cheeks darkened a little. "I'm not really sure," he admitted. "I stole it from Dad. He doesn't need it anymore."

"Shit. It's probably older than you are." I jumped in the shower and scrubbed between my legs until I was sure I was rubbing myself pretty raw. Jake waited until I climbed out, then hopped in himself.

I was pulling on my t-shirt when he came back into his bedroom. He reached down and picked up the offending latex off the floor. I wrinkled my nose as he dropped it in the trashcan. He walked over to me and pulled me against his bare chest. I sighed and rested my cheek against his hot skin. We'd only been sleeping together for like, 2 months. After waiting for me for so long, I hadn't wanted to make him wait much longer for sex and now…shit. I didn't want to have a baby. Not now for sure. Really, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted kids. I just knew, though, that it was going to happen. I imagined even now the splitting and multiplying of cells inside me, even though I wasn't sure if it was too soon for that or really what pregnancy timelines were. I did know that it would be about September if there was a baby. _At least I'll have finished a whole school year, _ I thought.

"Maybe you won't be pregnant," Jake was saying hopefully. I looked up at him and made a face.

"I'm pretty sure that since we don't want it it'll happen."

"Well, I'm here, no matter what."

"Yeah…you better be. I'll cut your fucking balls off if you desert me now."

He grinned at me, that grin that could make panties drop everywhere. He leaned down and kissed me lightly. "You'd better get going. Charlie's going to wonder where his dinner is."

I made a face at him, but headed out.

As I drove, my mind kept going over the possibilities. What were the odds something like this would happen to us? With my clumsiness, I was almost surprised it hadn't happened earlier. I hit the steering wheel angrily, pissed that I hadn't just taken the time and swallowed my pride and gone to the free clinic and gotten on the pill.

Charlie wasn't home yet, so I was able to get inside and start dinner without him getting suspicious. I made something simple, spaghetti. Charlie came in just as I was draining the pasta.

"Smells good," he said appreciatively as he hung up his gun belt. "You have a nice afternoon in La Push?"

I nodded. "It was ok. Jake and I watched some wrestling match or something on tv. I was reading my book."

He nodded. He was used to vague answers. I wondered if he knew about us and just didn't ask because he didn't want confirmation. We'd definitely been a lot more affectionate the last few weeks.

I served up two plates, sliding a piece of garlic bread on each fresh from the oven. We sat down and ate in silence. Well, Charlie ate. I mostly pushed my food around on my plate. Charlie looked at me. I never was good at hiding my emotions.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Bells, I'm not stupid. Something's wrong. Do I need to call Jake and yell at him for something?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, Dad, really." To prove my point, I took a big bite of spaghetti. It tasted like sawdust, but I ate it anyway.

I managed to finish off my plate under Charlie's watchful eye, then got up and started cleaning up. He left the kitchen and a moment later I heard the TV click on.

After I finished the dishes, I went upstairs, mumbling something about homework as I passed Charlie. I pulled out my cell phone and called Jake.

"Bells, do you hate me?"

I sighed. "No, I don't hate you. I'm just…fuck, Jake, I'm scared. What if…?"

"We'll deal with that when…_if_…we have to. There's no sense in getting ourselves worked up over nothing."

I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. "Shit Jake. That does absolutely nothing to make me feel better."

I sighed on the other end. "Want me to come over tonight?"

I thought about that for a moment. Did I? I almost felt like I should be alone to figure out how I felt about this whole shitty situation, but at the same time, Jake always made me feel safe. "Would you?" I asked in a small voice.

"Text me when Charlie goes to sleep. I'll come through the woods and up the tree."

A couple of hours later, Jake was holding me tight against him, smoothing my hair and murmuring nonsense words meant to sooth me. They didn't, really, but I did manage to get to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, Jake was gone and I could smell something cooking downstairs. I frowned and pulled my hair back in a tie and shuffled downstairs. The door to Charlie's room was open and the bed was made.

I stopped, surprised, in the kitchen door. Jake was standing in front of the stove, wearing jeans and a t-shirt and some ratty old tennis shoes. He was attempting to cook something that smelled like it used to be bacon. I wandered over and peered around him.

"What the fuck are you doing to my kitchen?" I demanded, seeing the grease splattered all over the stove, broken egg shells and egg white drying on the counter.

He jumped, then looked down at me with a sheepish grin. "I always feel better when you cook for me…"

I rolled my eyes and pushed him out of the way with my hip, taking the spatula from him. "That's because I know how to cook. And since when do you ever NOT feel good? And how the hell did I manage to sneak up on you?"

He chuckled and backed away from the stove as I assessed the damage. "I sometimes feel sad. Not much, but sometimes. And I was concentrating really hard. The orange juice told me to."

I laughed in spite of myself. "You're such a dork," I teased affectionately.

He grinned. "So…we're feeling better about…yesterday?"

I frowned. "I'd actually managed to forget about it for a little while, thanks for reminding me." I flicked the rag I was using to scrub the counters at him. "But…yeah, I guess a little. Like you said…there's not much we can do for now but wait."

He nodded. I motioned to the cabinet and he jumped up, pulling out plates and glasses along with silverware for us. I served the eggs and bacon. They weren't completely ruined, but they weren't great either. Even Jake grimaced. "I've got to stop trying to cook for myself," he muttered, frowning down at his plate.

I chuckled. "So what did Charlie say when you showed up at the crack of fucking dawn?"

He grinned. "I told him I did something really boneheaded yesterday and wanted to make it up to you by making you breakfast. I ran home and got dressed and drove the Rabbit over so that he wouldn't get suspicious."

I flushed slightly. "Well, he's already some suspicious. I was in a pretty foul mood last night. I think he just thinks you're an ass, though."

He chuckled and stood, taking our empty plates over to the sink to wash them. "Well, I ran into Dad this morning and told him what happened. He suggested…"

"You WHAT?!" I shrieked. "You've got to be joking."

He looked at me, startled. "Why? You know I tell him everything."

"Wait…everything? Like…_everything_?" I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

"Yeah, that's why we're so close. It's cool, Bells, he won't say a word to Charlie until we know something."

"Oh shit," I moaned, leaning over and putting my head between my knees. "I'm going to be sick."

I felt Jake's warm hands on my back, rubbing soothing circles. All it succeeded in doing, however, was making me burp. Jake started laughing loudly. "Well, at least I know how to do something useful if we have a baby," he joked. I kicked him.

The next few weeks we were both on edge, anxiously waiting for something that, true to my suspicions, didn't come. Charlie our irritability, or rather, mine. Jake seemed to be taking things in stride. Charlie questioned me on it and I snapped at him, making up some excuse about school being stressful. He backed off and left me alone after that, though I still caught him casting worried glances in my direction.

The time for my period came and went with nothing. Not a trickle. We waited a week, just hoping something would happen, before finally buckling down and buying a pregnancy test.

Jake came over to the house with a brown paper bag first thing in the morning. Charlie was already gone. I wordlessly took the bag and went into the bathroom. I'd been holding it since I woke up and felt like I was about to burst. I peed on the stick, making a face as I got some on my hands. I balanced the stick on the back of the sink, washed my hands and set the kitchen timer I'd brought up with me from the kitchen before heading back into my bedroom.

Jake was stretched out on the bed on his back, his arms behind his head. I crawled onto the bed next to him, snuggling up against his side. The icy rain outside made staying in bed with him so cozy and wonderful. I felt like pulling the covers up and going to sleep. He shifted and wrapped his arms around me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I was on the verge of drifting off when the timer dinged. We both stiffened.

"You want to look or should I?"

I sighed. "I think I probably should. My body and all that bullshit."

He nodded. "I'm coming with you."

We headed into the bathroom. I handed him the box and picked up the stick. "What do two blue lines mean?"

"Pregnant."

I snatched the box from him and double checked. "Shit."

"There's another one in here….wanna double check, make sure you didn't mess it up?"

I nodded. He went downstairs to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. I drank it down, then refilled it under the sink. Three glasses later, I had to pee again.

Four tests later, there was no denying it. I was pregnant.

_Jake's POV_

Shit. Bella was pregnant. We both stared at the two blue lines on the four tests lined up on the sink. She was sitting on the toilet, hugging her knees to her chest, staring off into the distance.

"Bells?" I asked nervously. I knelt down in front of her and put my hands on her hips. "Bells, look at me."

She turned to me, not really seeing me at first. Her eyes cleared and focused on my face. "Pregnant. Shit, Jake." I nodded, not sure what to say. Her eyes filled with tears. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"We'll keep it, of course. We can't get rid of it." She frowned, but didn't say anything. "I was already planning to be around for the next 60 or 70 years, so this is just another reason." She rolled her eyes at me and wiped her nose with some toilet paper. "I can quit school and get a job and you can do whatever you want."

She pushed past me and went into her room. She pulled her pajamas off and dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I sat down in the rocking chair and looked up at her expectantly. She sat on the bed and stared out the window, clearly processing. "I don't really want to have a baby, Jake."

"It'll be ok, Bells. I'll be with you every step of the way."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't doubt it," she sighed. "I'm just…there's a lot that goes into kids. Money, time, energy. Our whole lives are going to change."

"Yeah, I know, but…I know its shitty timing, but I've always wanted a kid. And since I already know what my life is going to be like for the most part, why not do it now when I'm young and HAVE the energy to chase a kid around. It could be really great." She nodded but didn't seem terribly convinced. "I love you…this will all work out. I promise."


	7. Chapter 7: Telling

_Bella's POV_

I paced back and forth, wringing my hands. I never thought I'd do something so melodramatic as wringing my hands, but here I was. I checked the clock for probably the hundredth time and growled with frustration that it had only been five minutes. Charlie was due home in about fifteen minutes and Jake and Billy would be here soon, either right before or right after. Jake had agreed to wait and tell them at the same time that I was pregnant. WE were pregnant. I groaned, dreading this more than anything I'd dreaded in my life. More than I'd dreaded moving to Forks.

I jumped when I heard the sound of a car pulling into the small driveway. I ran to the door and peaked through the curtain. _Or, they'll totally screw with me and all get here together,_ I thought, feeling a wave of panic crash over me. Jake was helping Billy out of the Rabbit and Charlie was waving and grinning at them as he climbed out of the cruiser. They all came up the walk together, laughing at something one of them had said. I wanted to kill Jake for not being here sooner to help me calm down.

The door opened and they all came in together, bringing in a blast of cold air and some snowy precipitation. Jake grinned at me, his face red from the cold wind. He pulled me into a tight hug, nearly knocking me down. "Everything's going to be ok," he whispered as he gave me a quick kiss hello.

"Something smells really good," Charlie said with a smile as he shrugged out of his jacket. "What's for dinner?"

"Whatever it is, it's got to be better than anything we could have cooked," laughed Billy, handing his jacket to Jake to hang up.

The three followed me into the kitchen and took their seats around the small table, Charlie in his usual spot, Jake next to my usual spot, Billy wheeling himself into the vacant space beside Charlie. I served up the plates as Billy and Charlie caught up. They'd each seen me and Jake plenty, but they hadn't seen each other in a long time. I put plates down in front of them and shot Jake a look. He jumped up in a pretense of helping me.

"What's up?" he asked in a low voice.

"I don't want to waste any time. I want to just do it, ok?"

He nodded and took our plates to the table. We sat down and Charlie and Billy dug in enthusiastically. My enchiladas were always a hit with the guys. They were about halfway through their food by the time I finally worked up the courage.

"Dad, Billy, we need to talk."

Charlie looked up from his food. His eyes darted from my face to Jake's and back to mine. He put his fork down and sat back. "So talk."

I studied him for a moment, took a deep breath and grabbed Jake's hand under the table. He squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

There was a long silence. Charlie's face was immobile for a moment, then a look of such disappointment crossed it I felt like my heart was breaking.

"Oh Bella," he said softly, sadly. Tears sprung into my eyes. "How far?"

"About a month," I said miserably. "Dad, I'm so sorry."

He didn't look at me. His gaze was fixed on the enchiladas I was sure had lost their appeal.

"Have you two thought about what you're going to do?" asked Billy.

"We're keeping it," said Jake confidently. "I'll get my GED and get a job at the garage in La Push or here in Forks, depending on where we live."

"What about you, Bella? What about your school?"

I shook my head. "I figure I'm due in September, so I'm thinking I'll take a semester off? I don't really know yet…"

Charlie startled us all by pushing his chair back and leaving the room. I stood up and looked after him, bewildered.

"Dad?" I asked, my voice breaking.

He kept walking, shaking his head. I felt Jake's arms wrap around me.

"Let me go talk to him," said Billy, wheeling around us and into the other room.

I looked up at Jake, scared. "Shit Jake, I can't lose Charlie over this." He tightened his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest and fought against tears.

My head popped up when I heard the catch of an engine. I ran to the door and out on to the steps just in time to see Charlie pulling out of the driveway. I stared in shock. He was fucking leaving. I stood there watching his tail lights disappearing in the sleet.

Jakes strong warm hands wrapped around my upper arms and steered me back into the house. I sank down on to the couch in shock. I looked up at Billy finally. "What happened?"

He sighed. "I didn't get a chance to say anything. He was already out the door when I got in here. He's pretty angry, Bella."

I nodded numbly. "I don't really blame him." I swallowed hard. My throat ached with the tears I was holding back.

"Should we stay until he gets back?" asked Jake nervously.

I shook my head. "No, that might just make him angrier. I'll be ok." He looked at me doubtfully.

"Bella's right. Charlie needs time to cool down and your being here is only going to remind him of why he was angry in the first place. I know if either of your sisters came home pregnant I'd want to shoot the guy who did it."

Jake's Adam's apple bobbed. That wasn't very reassuring since Charlie really could shoot him. "Do you want me to stay and help you clean up?"

"No, I've got it. You should probably get going before the roads get any worse."

He nodded. Billy wheeled himself over to the coat tree by the front door and pulled his coat on, handing Jake his. I noticed with a pang that Charlie's jacket was still on the hook.

I walked them to the door and watched as Jake carefully loaded Billy into the car. He bounded back up the steps and pulled me against him, kissing me deeply. I wrapped my arms around his neck and twisted my fingers in his shaggy hair. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "I'll come back if you want." He looked at me questioningly but I shook my head.

"I need to do this on my own I think. I'll call you later."

He nodded and kissed me again. I watched as the Rabbit roared down the street and out of sight.

I retreated inside and went in to the kitchen to clean up the interrupted meal. Maybe I should have waited until they were done eating. I sighed and wrapped up Charlie's leftovers. Maybe he'd want them later. I discarded what was left on mine and Billy's plates. Jake of course had already finished his portion. I wrapped up the leftovers and put them away, then started to wash the dishes.

I scrubbed the kitchen within an inch of its life. I was freaked out and needed to expend the nervous energy somehow. Once the kitchen was spotless I moved on to the rest of the house. I vacuumed all the carpets, I scoured the bathroom, I even dusted.

When I finally sat back I saw that it was close to 10. Charlie had been gone for nearly four hours. I headed upstairs and grabbed a textbook and a blanket and proceeded to camp out on the living room couch, determined not to miss Charlie when he returned. There would be no sneaking in.

About thirty minutes later, I couldn't really remember anything I'd read. I sighed and shoved it on the floor. I'd have to reread it sometime when I could concentrate. I was getting tired, but Charlie still wasn't home. I stood up and stretched, heading into the kitchen for a drink when I heard a car pulling into the drive.

I scrambled to the front door, opening it just as Charlie reached the top step. He looked up at me tiredly. I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly and finally giving in to the tears I'd been ignoring all night.

He was really cold so I pulled him inside. "I'm really sorry, Dad," I sniffed, wiping my eyes irritably. I looked up at him anxiously.

He sighed and shook his head. "I expected so much more from you, Bella. You're smarter than your mom and me; I thought you'd maybe learn from our mistakes."

I flinched some. I was a mistake. I knew I wasn't a planned pregnancy, but I'd never heard either of them refer to me as a mistake.

He saw my flinch and guessed what it meant. "That's not what I meant. We love you and wouldn't trade you for anything. We just…we were too young to have a baby at your age. We both had to give up a lot and we didn't want you to have to give up anything ever."

"I don't, Dad," I said quietly. "I can still do school, it'll just take longer and be a little harder."

"Yeah, but will you?"

I looked up at him defiantly. "Try and stop me."

He grinned and reached for me, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Have I ever told you how much you look like your mom these days? Back when we first met, I mean." I shook my head. He smiled, remembering.

"She was so beautiful. She's still beautiful, but back then…she was so…Renee." We both chuckled. "She was carefree and happy and she danced and sang all the time. She had beautiful long hair and such expressive eyes. I fell in love with her so fast, it was selfish of me, I know. When she got pregnant with you, I insisted we get married because I wanted to do the right thing. The problem was, that wasn't the right thing for her." I nodded, seeing where he was going with this. "I just don't want you two to rush into anything you're not ready for, just because there's a baby. You had two parents who loved you but not each other and I don't want you to make that same mistake just because you're blinded by hormones or lust or whatever." I nodded again, feeling a lump in my throat. Charlie cared enough to dredge up his mistakes, something neither he or Renee ever talked about.

"She married me and we were happy, for a little while. She loved this house, but she hated Forks. And she adored you. Never, for one second, doubt that she, and I, didn't love you with every fiber of our being."

"I never have," I said huskily.

"I kept a lot of things she picked out for the house until they just fell apart, but one thing she picked that lasted forever was the rocking chair in your room. I remember very clearly watching her nursing you and singing to you in that chair by the window. So, I'm offering that to you, your first gift for the baby."

I looked up at him hesitantly. "So…you're not going to kick me out or anything?"

"No, Bella, you're my daughter and I love you. I'm not pleased with your actions, but I love you and I'll love that baby. I love babies, which is ultimately what all this mess means: another little sweet smelling bundle to love." He locked eyes with me. "Bella, you're always welcome here." He pulled me into a hug and I sighed against him.

I was crying again, but this time, it wasn't grief. I was touched. "Dad, shouldn't it stay here?" I asked hesitantly. "You'll need a chair to rock it in when we visit."

He chuckled. "I can get another one, Bells. I just thought you might like to have the chair your mom picked out for you."

"Thanks, Dad."

He released me and pressed a kiss against the top of my head. "But, you get to call Renee and tell her. And that I do NOT envy you." I groaned as he headed into the kitchen, presumably to heat up the food he hadn't finished.

I checked the clock. It was after 10 pm, meaning it was 7 in Florida. I sighed and dug my cell phone out of my pocket. _No time like the present_ I thought wryly. Nothing was worked out, but Renee should know. I headed upstairs to sit on my bed while the phone rang.

"Bella!" she said excitedly when she picked up the phone. "I haven't heard from you in ages! How has your break been?"

I rolled my eyes. "It hasn't been ages, Mom. I called you last week."

"Well, it feels like ages," she pouted. "Tell me everything you've been up to! I miss you kiddo."

I smiled. She was so much like a teenager it cracked me up sometimes. "Well, I have some news. You might want to sit down for this."

"Oh no. What happened? Is Charlie ok? Do you need money for school?"

"Geez, Mom, calm down. It's…well, it's…" I sighed and scratched my head. "There's no easy way around this. I'm pregnant."

There was a long silence. A pregnant pause, if you will. "Oh, Bella." Her voice was so sad and disappointed. I felt old and tired all of a sudden. "Is Jake the dad?"

"Of course it's Jake," I exclaimed, insulted. "God, Mom, you think I'm a floozy or something?"

"Of course not, Sweetie, I just…wanted to make sure."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I grumbled.

"So…what's the plan?"

I closed my eyes. "We haven't really gotten that far yet. I just told Dad tonight and he didn't exactly take it well."

"Well, no. did you expect him to jump up and down for joy that his 19 year old college freshman unmarried daughter is making him a grandfather before he's 40? I'm not terribly thrilled about it myself but...oh Bella, I love babies."

I chuckled. That was so Renee: maternal and disapproving one second and silly and girlish the next. "Well, you'll have to come visit when it's born."

"You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you don't want to move in with the Black's and Charlie makes things difficult for you, you can come here and stay with me and Phil as long as you want. Forever even."

I laughed. "Mom, we're not doing anything crazy. There will be no wedding. I'll probably just move in with him on the res since he's still in high school and that's where his school is."

"Well, ok. Just…don't do anything stupid. Er."

I laughed. "Ok, I promise."

We talked for a little while, catching up on the previous week of events before hanging up. I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and wandered down to the living room. Charlie was still up. The TV was on but he wasn't really paying attention to it. He looked up as I came in.

"How'd it go?"

I shrugged and curled up on the couch. "She's…dealing."

He nodded. We sat in silence for a while then he yawned. "We should get to bed. It's 11 and you've got school in the morning."

I nodded and headed upstairs. I still had to call Jake. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before pulling on my flannel pajamas. I felt cold to the bone. I pulled my phone out of my jeans and punched in Jake's number.

"Am I on the endangered species list yet?"

I laughed softly. "No, I think the worst has blown over. We still need to figure out what we're going to do."

"Dad and I talked about that on the drive home. Can I come over? I'll tell you what we figured."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, give it a little time. Wait until the lights are out. Charlie's still kind of prowling around."

"Sure sure. I'll see you in an hour."

I braided my hair and grabbed my dog eared copy of _Wuthering Heights_. At least I'd read this so many times I knew it by memory. I drifted off to sleep and was dreaming that I was Catherine and Jacob was Heathcliff when I felt a cold breeze. I woke up and looked around with confusion.

Jake was standing in my room wearing nothing but his cut off shorts. He grinned at me as he pulled the covers back and crawled into bed next to me.

"Fuck, your feet are like ice," he complained.

I rolled my eyes. "Weird, since you're the one who's half naked and was just out in a winter storm."

He grinned. "I know, right?"

"So what did you and Billy decide?"

"You'll move to La Push, we'll both keep going to school, I'll get an after school job that will hopefully translate into a full time one come summer."

"Are we going to live with your dad?"

"Yeah, he doesn't really want to live alone and we won't be able to afford anything on our own, so he's invited us to stay with him."

I nodded. I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed. "And so it begins: the slow downward spiral of our lives into teenage parenthood."

He chuckled softly and played with my hair. "Who says it has to be a downward spiral? I think it could be an upward spiral."

"Yeah, like a tornado leaving nothing but destruction in its wake."

"Pessimist."

"Bitchbiscuit."

He leaned his head back and laughed loudly. I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth. His eyes widened and we both froze as he listened for Charlie. I couldn't hear anything but he could and he relaxed and licked my palm. I made a face and wiped it on his arm.

"He's sleeping. Living here, you get used to sleeping through storms so my laughing isn't going to wake him up."

"Lucky you," I retorted. I climbed out of bed to get the overhead light and when I turned back around, Jake was grinning at me. "What?" I crawled back into bed and snuggled against him to absorb some of his heat.

"You smell good," he murmured against my hair. "And though the braid could use some work, you look pretty hot."

I laughed. "Fuck you, I'm wearing flannels and I'm in bed."

He grinned down at me, his teeth white against his dark skin in the dim light from the street light outside. "You already did that…" he spread his big hand across my lower stomach, sending a tingly heat through my body. "Though if you want to, I think the movie's got another half hour or so…" My breath hitched in my throat as he moved his hand farther south. He moved closer to kiss me but stopped and rested his lips on mine. "I have to pee."

He rolled out of bed and disappeared out into the hallway.

I was suddenly cold from the lack of Jake's body heat. I pulled the blankets up around me like a burrito. Jake came back a minute later and crawled back into bed, pulling me against his chest. I sighed with contentment and curled up around him. One of his hands buried itself in my hair and the other rested against my belly. Now I just had eight months to go until my life was changed forever.

_Jake's POV_

Bella smelled so good and felt amazing against me. It was hard not to get excited. In fact, it was damn near impossible. I sighed and shifted so she wouldn't feel me poking her hip. She was asleep but she still held on to me tightly. I was afraid to fall asleep in case I didn't wake up when Charlie did, but that was pointless. My ears would warn me. I finally gave in and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later when Charlie did. I extracted myself from Bella's grasp and hid in the closet when he came and did his customary morning check on Bella. Must be a dad thing. I wondered if I would do it.

Charlie stood in the doorway and looked at Bella with an expression I couldn't really place. It was hurt and disappointment and love…and a little excitement. I'd seen him with babies at the res a couple times and knew he loved babies. Obviously this wasn't how he wanted Bella to have babies, but it was still a baby, right?

He sighed and left after a long moment. I stayed in the closet until I heard the engine catch. I crawled back into the bed and kissed Bella. She woke up to that.

"Mmm…Snow White and Sleeping Beauty had it right. That's a great way to wake up."

I grinned down at her. "I've got to go. School starts in a couple hours."

She nodded and yawned. "So, when do you want me to move out to the res?"

I shrugged. "I guess sooner rather than later, give you a chance to settle in."

"What about Charlie?"

"He can come for dinner anytime. We've even got extra rooms if he wants to spend the night."

She laughed. "Does he get any say in this?"

"I guess it depends on what he has to say." I leaned over and kissed her. "Seriously, though, I need to go. I'll call you later."

She nodded. "Keep warm."

I rolled my eyes as I headed downstairs and out the door. I headed into the woods and pulled off my shorts, securing them to my leg. I looked back up at the house, then phased and took off for home.


	8. Chapter 8: Meeting

_Bella's POV_

"Have you heard?"

I looked up at Jake as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up. "That you're a big fat dork? Yeah, I heard something about that," I grinned at him, lifting my face for a kiss. He obliged me and plopped down on the couch next to me.

"Har har, I'm not a dork. I'm a catch."

"What, so you're a fish now? No wait, you're a shrimp?" I snorted.

"Would you shut up and let me talk?" he teased, pushing me lightly.

"Ok, ok, talk." I grinned at him, and gestured for him to follow me up to my room. I was in the process of packing for the move on Sunday. It wouldn't really take that long, but I dreaded doing it all at once.

"The Cullen's are back in town," he blurted out. I missed a step and fell on the stairs, banging my elbow hard on the wall. "Shit, I knew I should have waited until you were sitting down. Are you ok?"

I looked up into his concerned brown eyes, stunned. "Am I ok? Fuck Jake, what do you think?" I rubbed my elbow and stood up carefully. I managed the last few steps and sat down on my bed, my mind whirring. "Seriously? Like, back for good or back visiting?"

He shrugged. "I'm assuming for good, since they let people see them. Plus, I heard that the head guy got his job back at the hospital."

"Carlisle. Wow."

Jake sat in the desk chair, looking at me worriedly. "Are you going to see him?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I mean…maybe? Shit."

Jake looked pained. "Do you still want him?"

I sighed. "Jake, please…"

"It's a simple question, Bella. Do. You. Want. Him?"

I scowled at him. "I resent you even asking me that question."

"Why the fuck shouldn't I?" he demanded. "You would still be with him if he hadn't left. Turned into a fucking bloodsucker for now, for all I know."

I flinched. I hated that word. "Stop it. What's past is past. Just…drop it."

"I can't. The bastard is here. You know he's going to come here eventually, Bella. I'm just surprised he hasn't already."

I couldn't disagree with him. Even though he'd left me a slobbering mess, I knew that Edward loved me and that eventually, he'd come see me. I rubbed my temples, feeling the onset of a headache. That usually brought nausea with it.

"I don't want him anymore, Jake. I'm carrying your child, what good would I be to him?"

"It's like you don't listen to yourself before you talk."

I glared at him. "Well, excuse me. I'm so sorry I don't have the perfect answer to a situation I learned about _five fucking minutes ago_," I snarled. It was Jake's turn to flinch. "God, Jake, I'm pregnant with _your_ baby. I'm moving into _your_ house. I still have residual feelings for Edward, I probably always will. He was my first love and I thought I would spend eternity with him…literally. It's hard to shut that off. But you…you're my _true_ love. You're the one who knows me and loves me anyway, who holds me tight during the storms and isn't afraid to let yourself go around me. If he makes me choose again, I choose you. From this point on, I will _always_ choose you." I'd calmed down by the end of my speech, but there were still tears making my throat ache. I stood up and crossed the room, settling down in Jake's lap. I put my arms around his neck and his settled around my waist. "I'm not thrilled about the baby, but I'm thrilled about you."

He rolled his eyes, but kissed me anyway. "You'll get thrilled when you feel him moving."

I made a face. "So far, all its done is make me throw up and necessitated my moving out of my dad's house into your lame ass pigsty of a room."

He laughed. "Hey, I've kept it cleaner since you've been a regular visitor."

"Yeah, clean_er_, but not clean. I still trip over dirty clothes all the time. I hope that changes when I'm there."

"Sure, sure. You'll be cleaning it up for me." He grinned at me innocently. I punched him lightly but he grabbed me and held me tight, kissing me again.

"So, we're fine? You're not threatened by Edward anymore?" I asked, breaking the kiss.

He shook his head. "I'll always view him as a threat, but you and I are ok. I trust you, Bells." He smiled at me. "Plus, as soon as you're at the res, he can't get near you or…"

"Enough," I interrupted. "Just…enough." He grinned at me. "So…packing?" He made a face, but let me go.

The next few days were quiet. Jake came over in the afternoons when I wasn't so sick and pretended to help me pack while really taking it as an opportunity to go through my underwear drawer. He was sorely disappointed by the lack of racy lingerie. He would finally resign himself to stretching out on the bed reading a magazine while I packed for a couple hours. Then we'd head downstairs to cook dinner. He'd stay and eat with us, but would head out quickly after we finished cleaning up so that Charlie and I could have some private time. We mostly spent it watching movies or sports on TV, but there was comfort in just being together. I knew I'd miss this when I left.

It was so weird. I hadn't really wanted to move to Forks, hadn't wanted to live with Charlie and now I was leaving and I realized how much I was going to miss him. I was comforted by the fact that I'd be less than an hour away, but I'd miss cooking dinner for him and listening to the sounds of whatever game was on downstairs as I fell asleep at night.

Charlie knew about the Cullens coming back. He didn't mention it, but I caught him looking at me at odd moments, concern all over his face. When I went to the grocery store, people who knew about my history with Edward, and really, who _didn't_ in a town the size of Forks, whispered and looked at me with sympathy. The news of my pregnancy hadn't gotten out yet, thankfully, but everyone was so concerned about my reaction to the Cullens. I just wished Edward would show up and end the speculation, make the stress and anxiety go away.

I'd thought about driving out to their house and confronting him a million times, but something in me wouldn't let me do it. He wasn't my forever anymore. He wasn't my anything, except my past. I didn't even try to lie to myself that there were still some old feelings there for him, that the scar had started to throb the day Jake told me he was back. I felt a familiar quickening in my stomach whenever I saw a silver car in the corner of my eye. But the feelings weren't the same as they used to be. They were like shadows, ghosts, of the feelings I'd had for Edward before.

I'd drift off in thought, wondering what our meeting would be like after so much time apart and when I'd come back to the present, either Charlie or Jake would be looking at me, worried. I'd make some excuse, blaming it on pregnancy brain.

The day of the move dawned surprisingly warm for February: almost 50 degrees. There wasn't any rain, so I cracked the window in my room as I packed up the final few items. The room felt close and stuffy. I'd been sicker this morning than I had so far and the cold air felt good against my flushed skin.

I looked around my room, trying to see if there was anything else I wanted to pack. I felt my heart clench when I saw the rocking chair. Charlie had offered it to me again this morning, but it felt wrong to take it out of the room. It had been here as long as I could remember. I sighed and went to the bathroom to gather up my toiletries.

I came back into my room, my arms full, and froze.

"Edward," I whispered. He'd finally come.

He was standing by the now open window, his bronze hair perfectly tousled, his eyes clear amber.

"Bella," he said with that perfect, velvety voice. "How are you?"

I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't think straight, so many thoughts were going through my mind.

"What….the…FUCK?!" I finally shouted. I threw a bottle of shampoo at him. He easily ducked it and it went sailing out the window. "What are you doing here?"

He moved towards me slowly, like a cat stalking its prey. "I missed you. Bella, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have left."

I snorted. "No shit." I dumped the remainder of the contents of my arms into the open suitcase. His eyes flicked to it and he raised his eyebrows.

"Going on a trip?"

"You could say that," I glowered at him.

"When will you be back?"

"I'll be gone a while. I'm moving out."

"Oh." He studied me with a look I recognized as him trying desperately to read my mind. I felt the familiar tug towards him and resisted the urge to launch myself across the room and curl up in his arms. That was most definitely not an option now.

"Is everything ok with you and Charlie?"

"Yes." I didn't really want to tell him. I wasn't sure if it was because of the residual feelings or if I felt he didn't deserve to know or what. _Or I'm still angry_, I thought. I crossed my arms over my chest.

We stood there staring at each other. I had missed him so much, I felt achy just seeing him. My feet itched, wanting to walk to him. Instead, I sat down on the bed and looked up at him expectantly.

Suddenly he flinched and his eyes widened. "Bella," he whispered with surprise. "Your smell….it's different."

Really? Interesting. Jacob hadn't said anything.

"Yeah, well, _I'm_ different."

In an instant, he was sitting beside me, holding my hand in his cold marble one. I couldn't help the sigh of contentment, of reconnection, that escaped my lips. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Why are you here, Edward?" I asked, suddenly tired. I was tired of trying to hold myself together around everyone, tired of pretending, tired of fake smiles and secret concerned looks behind my back. I'd been pretending for days now and I was done. "What do you want?"

"I want you, Bella."

I closed my eyes and let the words wash over me. "You don't know how long I wanted to hear those words," I said finally, looking up at his inhumanly perfect face. "And how too late you are."

He looked at me confused. Then realization dawned on his face. "You've found someone." It was a statement, not a question. He looked so sad when he said it I almost hated to admit it.

"Yes. Jacob Black."

He stopped rubbing my hand and sat there like a statue. "Jacob Black?" his voice came out strangled, as if he were suppressing something. His lips curled back from his teeth. "The _dog_? That's who I'm going to lose you to?"

I pulled away from him. "You don't get any say in the matter," I retorted angrily. "You left me! Alone in the woods! You told me it was for the best and you left and never looked back! He…he was there for me! He wanted me and he loves me."

He looked up at me with a mixture of sadness and anger in his eyes. "You know why I had to go, Bella. It's too dangerous for you with me here."

I snorted. "Yeah, well, I seem to find my own danger without you, thanks. At least now I have someone to protect me who wants the job."

He looked pained. "I want the job, I'm just…too late."

"No shit, Sherlock."

He sighed and ran his long fingers through his hair. "So are you done with us forever then?"

I wasn't sure how to respond. I loved the Cullens. They were the family I never had and I didn't want to give that up. I missed Alice and Jasper and Emmett and even Rosalie so much. I rubbed my neck, feeling the headache start to creep in.

"I don't know."

He nodded, not making eye contact with me. "Jacob's on his way up," he said quietly. Then his head lifted and his jaw dropped as he heard Jake's thoughts. "Bella…you're…"

Jake came in just then and looked between me and Edward, assessing the situation. We both knew that eventually this meeting would happen, but he still tensed up. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah…he just figured it out."

Jake looked at Edward expectantly. Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to fight you, dog."

Jake relaxed somewhat, but still held himself at the ready. Edward turned his sad amber eyes to me. "When?"

"When did it happen or when _will_ it happen?"

"Both, I guess."

I looked up at Jake. "We didn't become a couple or whatever until almost a year after you left. And I'm about 2 months along, so the baby's due in September."

He nodded and sighed softly. Then he looked up at Jake. "I'll keep tabs on you when I can, but then you already knew that." Jake nodded once. "And if you hurt her _at all_ I will come after you, dog. I have no objections to raising another man's child."

My heart skipped a beat. He really did want me. Even now.

"Won't be necessary," Jake's jaw was so tense I was afraid he'd crack his teeth.

The two of them seemed to have a conversation with their eyes. I looked back and forth between them nervously. Finally they both nodded tersely. Edward looked down at me. "I wish you every happiness," he said formally. "And remember, we're always there if you need us." And he was gone, moving faster than my eyes could process.

I looked up at Jake who was relaxing more now that Edward was gone. "Are you ok?" I asked anxiously.

He snorted. "I should be asking you that. Did you know he was coming?"

I shook my head. "He just…appeared. It caught me off guard."

Jake moved over to the window and looked out, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "He stank up the place, Bells."

I rolled my eyes. I still felt that little thrill in the pit of my stomach from smelling Edward. "Only you wolves think it's bad. The whole mortal enemies thing and whatnot. To me he smells delicious."

Jake turned then, a little hurt. "Delicious, huh?"

I sighed and crossed the room, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my face into his chest, breathing in his smell, woodsy and beachy and soapy and all together Jacob. "Yeah, delicious. Like something you can only taste a little of because it'll make you sick. You smell like home."

I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me against him. He rested his chin on the top of my head. "So, why is your shampoo outside on the front lawn?"

I laughed and looked up at him. "I threw it at him."

He grinned. "I'm assuming you missed."

"Shut up. I tried."

He laughed then, his face lighting up and the last tension leaving his body. He kissed my forehead. "Let's get your stuff packed up and head out. It's getting late."

A little while later, the last of my things were packed in the back of the truck, the entirety of my existence summed up in two suitcases and a couple boxes. The room still had a few remnants of the occasions I'd spent there as a child, but it was almost as though I hadn't visited in years. I looked up at the house, a lump at the back of my throat as we pulled away.

"You ok?" asked Jake quietly. I nodded, not trusting my voice. He reached over and squeezed my knee. "Everything's going to work out, you'll see."

I laughed softly, but didn't say anything. I rested my forehead against the cold glass of the window and watched the trees go by in a green blur.

"You say that a lot," I yawned. "It's like it's your fucking mantra or something."

"I figure if I say it enough you'll start to believe it."

I laughed. "Keep on, then. Maybe someday it'll stick."

I wouldn't tell him that the old worries about him imprinting came back to me even more now, that it was the common theme in my nightmares. I knew it would only frustrate him because he couldn't do anything about it. I hated that I had a secret from him, especially when I'd made him promise not to keep any from me.

_Jake's POV_

I could smell the bloodsucker before I even got to the house. Being phased heightened all my senses and I could smell him from pretty far off. I was confident of Bella's emotions, but I still didn't like her being alone with him. I knew it wouldn't take him long to figure out what was going on with Bella. She smelled differently, a mix of her flowers and my woods. I liked it, but I was pretty sure the leech wouldn't so much.

I phased back and pulled on my shorts and headed across the lawn. I opened the door and started upstairs, thinking "_We're having a baby, leave her alone, she's happy now."_

"Bella…you're…"

I walked in just then and looked between the two of them. I tensed and was ready to jump in and rip the leech apart, should the situation call for it. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah…he just figured it out."

I looked at Edward. _I will take you down if you even so much as try…_

The leech rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to fight you, dog."

I tried to relax, but was still on edge. The leech looked back at Bella. "When?"

"When did it happen or when _will_ it happen?"

"Both, I guess."

She looked over at me. "We didn't become a couple or whatever until almost a year after you left. And I'm about 2 months along, so the baby's due in September."

He nodded and sighed softly. Then he looked up at me. "I'll keep tabs on you when I can, but then you already knew that." I nodded tersely. "And if you hurt her _at all_ I will come after you, dog. I have no objections to raising another man's child."

"Won't be necessary." No way in hell would I let that bloodsucker near my boy.

We glared at each other, me thinking through every moment of happiness with Bella, purposefully avoiding the crying and nightmares. He narrowed his eyes at me angrily. I knew he was seeing that I made Bella happy and it made him angry that he couldn't be the one to do it. _I would never hurt her_ I finally thought. _I would kill anyone who would. Know that she's always safe with me on the res. We'll never let anything happen to her or the baby._

He nodded at me and I nodded back. The leech turned to Bella. "I wish you every happiness," he said formally. "And remember, we're always there if you need us." And he was gone, jumping lithely out the window and taking off through the woods.

I felt myself relax as he got further away. I looked down at Bella.

"Are you ok?" she asked anxiously.

I snorted. "I should be asking you that. Did you know he was coming?"

She shook her head. "He just…appeared. It caught me off guard."

I moved over to the window and looked out, frowning. "He stank up the place, Bells."

She chuckled. "Only you wolves think it's bad. The whole mortal enemies thing and whatnot. To me he smells delicious."

"Delicious, huh?" I didn't make any effort to keep the hurt out of my voice.

A moment later I felt her arms around me and her face against my chest. "Yeah, delicious. Like something you can only taste a little of because it'll make you sick. You smell like home."

I pulled her close and rested my chin on the top of her head. I grinned when I saw a familiar green and blue bottle on the ground. "So, why is your shampoo outside on the front lawn?"

She laughed and looked up at me. "I threw it at him."

"I'm assuming you missed."

"Shut up. I tried."

I laughed and kissed my forehead. "Let's get your stuff packed up and head out. It's getting late."

She was quiet on the drive out to La Push, staring out the window. She didn't talk much, but I could tell that she was keeping something from me. It made me a little angry since I wasn't allowed to keep secrets, but I couldn't force her to talk to me.

When we got home, she helped me unload her stuff then headed into what was now our room and curled up on the bed. She was tired so I let her sleep.

Dad looked up at me when I came into the living room. "How is she?"

I shrugged. "Tired. I'm not sure she's been sleeping much."

He nodded. "Has she talked to Edward yet?"

I flinched. "Yeah, he was at the house when I got there. He's going to check in, but pretty much just leave her alone from now on."

He nodded. He seemed to be satisfied with those answers. He picked up the remote and flipped on the TV. We sat and watched quietly, waiting for her to wake up. When she did, shuffling out into the room with a yawn, Dad grinned up at her.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd sleep all afternoon," he teased.

She blushed. "Sorry, I've been having trouble sleeping. Apparently being pregnant wears you out." She dropped down to the couch beside me. "So, what do you have on hand that I can make for dinner?"

"We're just going to order pizza," Dad chuckled.

"Yeah," I grinned. "You can start your duties tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes but snuggled further into my chest. I realized she was probably cold. I hadn't thought to put the quilt on the bed in a while, since I didn't need it and she hadn't stayed over since the night of the storms and nightmares. I wrapped my arms around her and made a mental note to put the blanket on the bed tonight

Dad wheeled himself into the kitchen and I heard him ordering the pizza. It got there within about 30 minutes and we chowed down. I had my own and Bella and Dad split one. She yawned after finishing a couple of slices.

"Sorry to be such a party pooper, but I'm still tired. I'm going to go on to bed. School in the morning and all that."

"G'night, Bella," Dad grinned at her.

I followed a few minutes later, curling around her on the small bed and listening to her breathing. I could make out the faint butterfly wings of the baby's heartbeat. I tightened my arms around her and moved my hand down to cup her belly. Her baby. My baby. _Our_ baby.


	9. Chapter 9: Adapting

_Bella's POV_

Waking up in Jake's room that first morning was so bizarre. He was there, curled around me awkwardly on the bed that was too small for him alone, let alone for the two of us. His arms were wrapped around me protectively against the storms that had swept through the area late that night, one hand resting solidly on my stomach.

I was hot and felt the first waves of nausea washing over me, so I shoved him away from me and stumbled down the hallway to the bathroom. Luckily Billy had two bathrooms here. He'd laughed that having two teenage daughters made it a necessity if he and Jake ever wanted use of it. I pushed the door shut behind me and knelt on the floor in front of the toilet, waiting. Since I hadn't eaten much pizza last night, it was mostly dry heaves, but I felt like my chest was being ripped apart from the force of them.

I flushed the toilet and stood up to survey myself in the mirror. It was pretty horrific. My hair was ok but there were dark shadows under my eyes and my skin seemed paler than normal, almost translucent. I brushed my teeth quickly and splashed some water on my face, hoping that would help some. When I opened the door to leave, Jake fell backwards into the bathroom. He'd apparently been sitting on the floor against the door.

He looked up at me with an expression of surprise that I'm sure mirrored my own.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded. "Stalking me? Can't I puke in peace?"

He grinned. "I'm just checking on you."

"Stalker," I muttered, stepping over him and moving down the hall to his room. _Our _room. I heard him laughing behind me and when I glanced over my shoulder, he was shutting the bathroom behind himself.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, pulling my hair back into a messy ponytail as I headed to the kitchen. We'd decided during dinner the night before that as long as I wanted, when I wanted, I was the house chef and head of housekeeping. Jake was my staff and was to do whatever I told him to do. Charlie and Billy were footing the majority of the bills, so that seemed pretty fair to me. I rummaged through the fridge and pulled out the makings for pancakes. I made up a double batch of the batter, knowing Jake would probably eat more than half by himself.

I poured the pancake batter out and then started scrambling some eggs and frying bacon. Jake came in then, yawning and scratching his stomach. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He was growing his hair back out so currently it looked extra shaggy.

"Something smells good," he grinned at me, bending down to kiss the top of my head. "Bacon, eggs, and pancakes? I think you just moved up to my favorite baby mama."

I swatted at him with the towel. "There damn well better not be any other baby mamas or you will not be making any more babies, if you get my drift."

He grinned and started setting the table. "Emily and Sam want us to come over for dinner tonight," he said, pulling out butter and syrups and setting them on the table. "I told her I didn't think that'd be a problem but that I had to check with you."

I shrugged. "Sure, I don't see why not. I'll leave something out for your dad."

Billy came in then, a huge grin on his face. "I have to say, Bella, having you around is going to be great if you cook for us like this all the time."

I laughed. "Well, I don't promise to do it all the time, but I'll cook better than Jake ever did."

"Amen to that," he chuckled.

We hurried through breakfast. Jake had school at 8 and I had the 45 minute drive to my school back in Forks. I wasn't sure what Billy did all day, but I didn't have time to really speculate on it. I grabbed my back pack and headed out, following Jake the first little while before waving as I passed him and got on 110.

The day went by pretty quickly. My last class ended at 1 and I headed over to Charlie's house. I pulled some fish out of the freezer and quickly prepped it for him, creating the batter and setting up the oil and fryer for him so all he had to do was dip and fry when he got home. I made a salad for him, too. I wrote him a quick note, explaining what he had to do and then headed back to La Push.

Jake had beat me home and was sitting in the living room, his books spread across the coffee table as he scowled down at his homework.

"Problem?" I asked, dropping my bag on the floor and sitting down on the couch behind him. I rested my chin on his shoulder and looked down at the book. "Oh. Physics." I laughed. "I never got that."

"Great, thanks," he said sarcastically. "I don't get why I need this shit. I mean, come on…how often do mechanics use volume and density?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Probably more than you realize."

He pushed against my face with his hand. I laughed and stood up, heading into the kitchen. I decided to make the same thing for Billy for dinner. He had a similar fryer and jug of oil under the sink, so it was pretty easy to get everything pulled together for him.

I walked past Jake, still fuming at his Physics, and headed to the bathroom. I usually showered at night, but I didn't want to go to Emily and Sam's smelling like fish.

The hot water felt good against my skin. I was always cold here at La Push. We were a lot closer to the ocean, so the temperature was a few degrees cooler than in Forks. I didn't want to ask Billy or Jake to turn the heat up, so I mostly just swaddled myself. I was looking forward to the part of pregnancy where I was hot all the time.

As I was rinsing off the last of the soap, I felt a cold breeze hit my skin. I opened my eyes and screamed. Jake was standing there in the shower with me. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me to keep me from slipping. I slapped at him, somewhat angry.

"What the hell, dude? You could have given me a heart attack!"

He rolled his eyes. "You're so melodramatic, Bella. Besides, I had to see if you're showing yet. You haven't let me see you in a while." He gently pushed me away from him and scrutinized my stomach. "Not yet," he seemed disappointed. "But your boobs look bigger."

I slapped his hand away as he moved it to cup my breast and assess the size. "Go away."

"I need to shower too. We got really dirty in shop today."

"Fine, I'm done anyway," I huffed as I held onto his arm and climbed carefully out of the shower. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me then wrapped another around my hair. I gathered up my clothes and headed into our room to get dressed.

Jake joined me a few minutes later, whistling as he walked down the hallway completely naked. That was a sight I wasn't sure I'd ever really get used to. He grinned at me when he caught me looking at him and my face heated up. Stupid blushing. I was in my underwear and struggling with pulling jeans up over my damp legs when he caught me off guard and grabbed me, throwing me onto the bed. I laughed and twisted my legs around his, kissing his jaw.

"We have to leave soon."

"Not that soon. Besides, I can be late."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be late." I pushed at him gently and he rolled off me, sighing.

"You, Miss Swan, are a bit of a tease."

I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at him. "You really think so?"

"Well, maybe. I guess the sex drive part hasn't kicked in?"

"What sex drive part?"

His face reddened. "I did some research online at school today and some pregnant women have an increased sex drive."

"Oh." I blushed. "Well, right now I'm still in the throwing up in the mornings part."

He nodded. He pulled himself up level with me and placed a kiss on my bare shoulder. "Well, whenever you get super horny, let me know. I'm here to please."

I hit him with the pillow and shoved at him. It didn't do much good, but he got up good naturedly and we finished getting dressed.

It was a short drive to Sam and Emily's house, just a few blocks really. We probably could have walked it, but it had started raining again and neither of us wanted to get wetter than necessary, regardless of the fact we both still had wet hair from our showers.

Jake ran up the front steps ahead of me, pulling open the door and ushering me in. I shivered as I stepped in and felt a welcome rush of heat from the fire in the fireplace in the living room. Sam was sitting in an armchair watching some ball game. He looked up and grinned, standing.

"Hey, Bella," he said, pulling me into an immense hug. He was better about not crushing the air out of me than the others. I supposed I had Emily to thank for that. "Emily's in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner. I'm sure she'd welcome the company."

I grinned up at him. "Hey Sam, thanks." I headed that way, smacking Jake's butt as I passed. "Emily, I'm here to help. What can I do?"

She turned to me and smiled. Her dark hair was pulled back into a loose braid, a few strands escaping and curling around her face. "Hi Bella," she said, pulling me into a hug. "How are you?" her eyes looked over me quickly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine. Shit, people, I'm just pregnant, not terminally ill or anything."

She laughed. "Sorry, maternal instinct. You look tired, though. Not sleeping well?"

I sighed and leaned against the small table. "Not really. Lots of nausea, foreign environment…plus Edward came by yesterday."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Really. How was that?"

"Jake was…remarkably cool with it," I said, laughing. "I threw my bottle of shampoo at Edward I was so angry at him. We talked a little. I don't think things are really that resolved, but he knows everything so…yeah."

She nodded sympathetically. "Well, that's good, right? I mean, having an angry ex hanging around isn't easy." I smiled. I kept forgetting that she was in a really similar situation. "Well, I have to admit. I have ulterior motives for inviting you two over for dinner."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "What, you want to hire me as your personal chef?"

She laughed. "No, nothing so obvious. Sam and I are pregnant, too." Her eyes were sparkling as she said it.

"Emily!" I exclaimed excitedly. "I'm so happy for you two!" I pulled her into another big hug. "When are you due?"

"The middle of August. We've known for a little while, but wanted to wait a bit, let the excitement from you two die down before we brought it up. It's been hard for Sam not to think about it when he's phased."

I nodded. "I can imagine. Jake didn't even try to keep it a secret." I rolled my eyes. "I think he's more excited about the baby than anyone."

She laughed. "Aw, he's just a big kid at heart. They all are. He'll be great with a baby."

I smiled. "Man I hope so. I'm not so sure about it, myself."

She linked her arm in mine and pulled me into the living room. "Well, we'll take all the baby classes and stuff together. It'll be fun!"

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't even completely admitted to Jake that I didn't really want the baby, so there was no way I wanted to do all the classes and crap that were involved in having a baby. I probably would have given it up if not for Jake wanting it so much.

The guys were shouting at the screen. Apparently someone was going the wrong way or something. I watched for a while but couldn't figure out what was going on. Emily couldn't either, so she turned back to me, an expectant look on her face. I groaned inwardly, praying she wasn't going to go back to the baby thing.

"So are you excited about the camping trip?"

I blinked. She'd caught me completely off guard. "Camping trip?"

"Yeah, the pack's camping trip over Spring Break. We're all going down to Bogachiel State Park and renting a bunch of cabins and yurts for the week. It'll be like, six people to a cabin."

I stared at her. "Yurts? What, like giant teepees?"

She laughed. "Sort of. They're more like cabins with canvas roofs."

I stared at her, then turned to Jake. I picked up one of the small pillows on the couch and smacked him with it. "Why the hell didn't you tell me about a camping trip and sleeping in teepees?"

His eyes widened. "Shit, I forgot. The pack is going camping over Spring Break at Bogachiel. I signed us up."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for letting me know."

He grinned. "It's not like its actual teepees. Though I could arrange that for you if you'd like."

I made a face at him. "I'm not a fan of sleeping on the ground, thanks. A cabin with an actual bed will be great."

He laughed. "So you're ok with it?" he looked at me anxiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…keep me in the loop, ok?"

He grinned and gave me a quick kiss. "Sure, sure."

We ate dinner, chatting and visiting. I could tell that Sam and Emily were relishing having another "couple" friend set. Embry and Jill were still teenagers and acted it, which was annoying to the two of them. Jake was still pretty goofy, but impending fatherhood had matured him quite a bit. The drive home was quiet, both of us tired from a long day. Billy was already in bed by the time we got home, so we headed to our room, changing to pajamas and doing our nightly routine before crawling into the small bed. I sighed.

"This isn't going to work. We've got to have a bigger bed. Either that or I'm getting my own room."

Jake chuckled. "I'll start saving up for it, I promise. I talked to the guy who owns the garage on Saturday and he said he could use my help sometime next month."

I nodded and curled into his chest. "Do you have patrol tonight?"

"Yeah, 3 to 6."

I frowned. "You'll be really tired for school."

He chuckled softly. "Bells, we've been doing this for awhile now. I'll be fine. I'll catch a nap in shop or something. Maybe cut my last class."

"You'll do no such thing. You've got to graduate in May. Failure is not an option." I punctuated my words by poking him in the chest with my finger.

He laughed and caught my hand, bringing it up to his lips. "Yes, Mom." I rolled my eyes in the darkness. "Now, go to sleep. You've got important work to do. I don't want my son having only half a brain because you didn't get enough sleep."

I laughed softly as I pressed a kiss against his chest and snuggled in again, drifting off to sleep.

_Jake's POV_

When I woke up for patrol, Bella was clutching my arms desperately. She was still asleep, so I knew it was a nightmare. I tried to shake her awake, but she was in really deep. She whimpered softly.

"Please, Jake," she said softly, tears leaking from her eyes.

I scowled at her. The nightmares she wouldn't tell me about. I had a sneaking suspicion they had to do with me imprinting. I hated to leave her like this, but I had to. I pressed a kiss to her forehead then headed out.

My thoughts were all over the place all night. Seth was with me tonight and he just stayed at the opposite side of the perimeter so that he didn't have to hear it as much. I knew it was frustrating and annoying, I'd had patrol with Sam a few times and had the same opinions about him, but I couldn't help it. This growing up shit sucked.

I could still smell that bloodsucker, the one Bella called Victoria. She was back. I hadn't told Bella yet that I'd been smelling her for a couple of weeks. None of us had. I was afraid of what Bella would say or do. I worried about her driving back and forth to Forks all the time but knew there was no way in hell I'd be able to convince her to just stay on the res where we could protect her better.

The first light of dawn was gradually creeping over the unseen horizon as I started back home. I'd been out a little longer than I intended. I phased back quickly as I reached the house. I could hear sounds of movement inside. Dad was up starting the coffee to brew while he showered. Bella was in the shower. I waited until Dad was in his room before entering the house. There was no point putting on shorts for two minutes.

I made noise as I entered the bathroom where Bella was.

"Jake, what do you want?" she asked exasperated. She didn't even look around the curtain.

I grinned and stepped in behind her. She looked up at me, annoyance and amusement warring on her face. "I would think that's pretty obvious," I teased, pulling her against me. She shivered slightly as our skin made contact. "Still throwing up?"

She nodded, but reached up and pulled my head down for a kiss. I tightened my grip on her. Soap would make this interesting.

We dressed and ate breakfast quickly, French toast with fried eggs and sausage. I chugged my juice as Bella stuffed my school books in my bag for me. I grinned at her gratefully as she handed it to me. I leaned over to kiss her goodbye and was out the door, racing to meet Quil and Embry.

The three of us had decided we wanted our senior year to be as fun as possible so we'd gotten as many of our classes together as we could manage. Of seven, we were only separated one class a day when I had physics, Embry had photography and Quil had a study hall. Not like he did any studying.

In shop we'd already managed to break down and rebuild the engine that was our project for the six weeks and we still had three weeks left, so the teacher, Mr. Harding, let us pretty much do whatever we wanted as long as we kept it under control. Quil produced some magazines he'd trimmed down to fit into our text books so we could read without being caught. I rolled my eyes as he handed me the latest issue of _Motor Mamas_.

"Dude, you know I don't need this shit." I handed it back to him.

He made a face at me. "How should I know? You probably make up those memories of you and Bella. I'll bet she's secretly a prude."

I scowled at him. I had a sense of loyalty to Bella and didn't want to turn her into some stereotypical locker room conversation, but at the same time I had my pride to protect.

"All I'm gonna say to that is that this morning, I had the best shower EVER," I huffed, sitting back in the seat of the car we'd worked on.

Embry grinned. "I keep trying to get Jill to do that, but she's afraid she'll fall."

"Bells falls, but I catch her. Just make sure you don't get all soaped up first. Makes everything slipperier."

Quil scowled at both of us darkly. "Fuck you guys."

I grinned. "You're just jealous that all you get to do is tea parties and princess parades."

His face softened. "Yeah, those are fucking awesome." He looked up at us with a big grin on his face. "This weekend is her birthday and it's a Disney princess thing. I'm going as Prince Eric." We stared at him blankly. "From _The Little Mermaid_."

"Oh. Um…awesome?" Embry snickered.

"Shut up, you know if Jill wanted that you'd totally go there."

"Yeah, probably." They both looked at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Shit, guys, she's pregnant with my kid. I'd go to the moon in a French maid's outfit for her. You guys know how much I love her."

"Yeah, it makes me want to throw up, to be honest," laughed Quil.

"So how's living with her?" asked Embry curiously.

I shrugged. "It's been less than two days. So far, ok. We eat and sleep and shower and study. I'm hoping there gets to be more sexy fun times later on, but right now she's barfing all the time. It's kinda gross, to be honest."

"Are there lots of sexy fun times? Dude…what's it like with a prego?"

I shot Quil a look. "None of your damn business, that's what it's like and how often it is." This was going to be a real mind fuck, trying not to embarrass Bella and still be myself around the guys.

"You brought it up," retorted Quil defensively.

"Yeah, but you went there."

"Only because you put sex in my head."

"You've always got sex in your head. I see it every time we have patrol together."

"I can't help I'm one of the few not getting any on a regular basis. I have to live vicariously through your head."

I punched him in the arm. "You are not allowed to think about Bella like that."

He punched me back. "It's not like I can help it, douchebag. If you think about it, I think about it."

We started wrestling, falling out of the car and onto the concrete floor.

"Ok, children," said Embry, ever the peace maker. He pulled us up and apart from each other. "We are in public you know. You can work out your pent up man love later in private." We both turned and punched him in the arms. "Hey," he complained, "not cool."

The bell rang then, ending the school day and the tension. We grabbed our bags and headed out the door. We walked together, teasing and joking.

"So, has anyone come up with a way to get the bloodsucker?" asked Quil as soon as we were out of earshot of the other students.

I scowled. "No. And we're not using Bella as bait, so don't even go there."

"I wasn't."

"She's putting herself out there as bait you know, what with all the driving she does," Embry pointed out.

I turned my scowl on him. I didn't like being reminded of things I couldn't really control. Bella was more stubborn than most people knew. "I guess we just need to keep an eye out and keep up the patrols for now. She'll eventually figure out what's going on with Bella, that she's moved out here and is driving back and forth, and she'll make a move. I plan on being there when that happens."

The others nodded. We made plans to get together to work on Bella's truck over the weekend and then split to go our different ways.

Bella wasn't home when I got there, so I guessed this would be a regular thing. I was used to her already being at her house when I got there, but now the roles were reversed. I made myself a sandwich or three and settled down at the coffee table in the kitchen to tackle physics again. I really fucking hated this class.

Bella got home around 4 looking tired. She smiled at me as she headed into the kitchen. I could hear the sounds of her fixing something for a little while before she reappeared and lay down on the couch behind me. She didn't talk, just went to sleep.

It wasn't the most exciting life, I decided, but it was comfortable. School, homework, dinner, watching TV with Bella and Dad before bed where, if I was lucky, Bella would let me touch stuff. I usually wasn't lucky. I decided to just roll with the punches. After all, what was the worst that could happen?


	10. Chapter 10: Camping

_Bella's POV_

"Shit, Bells, did you leave anything behind?"

I scowled at Jake. "I brought what I need."

He grinned at me. "And that included the kitchen sink?"

I flipped him the bird as I headed back inside to double check he'd gotten everything. Billy was packing up, too. He and Charlie were going to go fishing for the weekend so both households were kind of in an uproar. The dads were much more ok with roughing it than I was. I hadn't hardly slept in the two weeks since moving in with the Blacks, so I was hoping, most likely in vain, that I could get some sleep. The group hadn't really looked into camping at Bogachiel until last week and were surprised to find that it was primitive camping ONLY. Meaning tents. And sleeping bags. On the ground. I didn't want to be a wet blanket and back out at the last minute, but I was _not_ looking forward to camping now, knowing there wasn't going to be a hard floor and soft mattress. There was a barbecue pit, and we all knew the guys could start fires pretty easily. At least we wouldn't starve, as long as the animals didn't get into our food.

"Bells, come on, we're going to be late and get the shittiest campsite!"

I fought back angry tears as I headed to the door. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

It was a short drive, about 45 minutes. We actually drove through Forks to get there. Jake paid the small entry fee and we drove slowly into the park.

I had to admit, it was a beautiful park. The trees were so green and tall, it was like being in another world. We pulled into our campsite and saw that Sam and Emily were the only ones there. They'd taken the campsite nearest the bathroom, probably for Emily. Quil, Claire, Seth and Leah showed up a little while after we did, while Jake was still wrestling with our tent. Jared, Paul, Embry and Jill were behind them. I wandered over to Emily's tent. Their car had been deemed the kitchen car, where we would keep all the food locked up at night. I wasn't really concerned with predators. Nothing in the woods was as scary as what I slept beside every night.

"Hey Emily. Anything I can do?"

She smiled at me. "I think we're good, but thanks for asking. How're you doing?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not great, but I'll behave."

She smiled at me and squeezed my arm before turning back to her organization. I turned and saw Leah glaring at us. I bit my lip, then headed over to her.

She tensed up when I sat down on the bench next to her. "Hey."

"Hey." She looked at me warily. "If you're here to tell me again how they didn't chose this…"

"I'm not. I'm just here because you look as miserable as I feel and I thought we could commiserate."

She rolled her eyes, but she didn't leave or try to get me to leave. Instead she sighed and stretched her legs out in front of her. "I don't know why I'm here. I just bring the party down everywhere I go with these assholes."

I grinned. "Well, I'll be a party pooper with you if you want. I'm not thrilled to be here, either."

"Why not? You've got Jake, you're having his baby, what's your possible reason for not being happy?" she seemed more curious than upset. I knew she saw the similarities of our situations and guessed she wondered why I'd chosen Jake over Edward.

I snorted. "Exactly. I've got Jake, the biggest man-child around, I'm pregnant at nineteen, when I never really wanted to have kids, and I'm here, sleeping in a tent for the next week. Leah, my people stopped sleeping on the ground voluntarily hundreds of years ago. Scratch that, over a thousand years ago. I'm not built to sleep on the ground."

She laughed, the first real laugh I could remember ever hearing from her. "Oh, it's not so bad, once you get used to it," she teased. "We redskins managed to do it for a long time with no real adverse effects."

"Yeah, beside the slaughter of innocents and being forced off tribal lands and onto reservations."

She grinned. "Shit, where were you a hundred years ago? If you could have just convinced tribal elders across the continent to build houses and beds, we'd own everything. It'd be the United States of Native Americans or some shit."

I laughed with her. "Exactly! See, if Sitting Bull and Geronimo and whoever else had just said 'Hey, paleface, we want beds' everything would have worked out SO much better."

It was a totally ridiculous conversation, but I could feel the ice melting a little. I realized that Leah didn't have the same type of camaraderie that the guys did. I loved the guys, but I really treasured my relationship with Emily. I felt sad for Leah that her only choices for female companionship were her ex-lover's new girlfriend and an obnoxious 17 year old girl.

"So they're really happy, huh." It was so quiet, I almost missed it.

"Yeah." I didn't want to give her the same old story of how imprinting wasn't a choice, it just happened.

"Are you?"

That took me off guard. "I don't know," I said carefully. Anything I told Leah would pretty much become pack knowledge as soon as they phased. "I'm trying to be."

She nodded and looked off into the distance. I studied her then. She really was pretty. Long lean legs, slender yet muscular build, lots of thick, glossy black hair. I could see why Sam had first been attracted to her. She wasn't as tall as the guys, but she was still over six feet tall, making her taller than any woman I knew.

"I wasn't always a bitch, you know. I used to be fun." I nodded for her to go on. "It's just hard to get over being dumped. You know." I nodded again. "Especially when he's happy with someone else and you see that daily…sometimes you see it from his perspective." We sat in silence for a while. "Sometimes I just think about leaving, you know? Getting away from everything. But…I can't leave my family. As much as I hate to admit it, and I'll deny it and call you a liar if you repeat it, I really love these guys."

I laughed. "Aw, Leah, as much of a bitch as you are, they'd miss you if you left. You know that, right?"

She rolled her eyes, but nodded. "Yeah, who else to pee in their cheerios?"

Jake caught my eye and motioned for me to join him at the fire pit. "Well, Leah," I said, squeezing her upper arm, "I'm always here if you need to talk. Just cause I'm knocked up doesn't mean I can't relate to some things."

She smiled. "Thanks, Bella."

I made my way over to Jake, only tripping once and even then, I managed to right myself before making a full on face plant. I smiled up triumphantly at Jake. "I think I'm getting better."

He grinned and pulled me against him. "The guys need to run back into town for a couple things. Quil's idiot ass forgot the bottled water. Can you and Emily tag team watching Claire?"

I felt a wave of panic in my stomach. "Watch a kid? Shit, Jake, I've never babysat before. And my language isn't exactly three-year-old friendly."

"Just view it as practice," he said encouragingly. "Emily will do most of it, but you can help out."

I really didn't want to do it, but how could I say no? Quil came over then, a grin on his face at something Claire was telling him. I had no clue what she was saying, but he seemed to understand perfectly.

"Claire, this is Aunt Bella. Can you say hi to Aunt Bella?"

Claire turned her dark eyes to me and gave me a big grin. "Hi Aunt Bewa!" she said enthusiastically. "Quil says you gonna watch me."

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Wanna play tea party?"

I looked up at Quil who was still grinning stupidly, then at Jake, who was looking at me expectantly. "Um…ok."

"You can be the princess," she stated, turning back towards the tent she and Leah were sharing. That gave me an idea.

"Why don't we invite Aunt Leah to join us?"

"Ok!" Claire was obviously up for an audience.

I heard the guys laughing as they headed out. Why all seven of them had to go to get water, I didn't really understand, but I had a sneaking suspicion. Claire soon had Leah and me sitting cross-legged on a blanket near the fire pit, sipping invisible tea out of pink plastic toy cups. Jill was curled up in one of the cars reading a tabloid and Emily was busy getting dinner ready. It looked like she'd pre-made shish-ka-bobs for the guys to roast along with some potatoes that were already wrapped in foil. The guys had started the fire before they left and she carefully buried the potatoes in the coals using a stick and small shovel.

I was amazed at how patient Leah was with Claire. I was ready to chunk the cup into the woods and go for a walk after five minutes but she sat patiently and listened to the nonsensical stories that Claire told us in her babbling toddler language. I suddenly wished that she and Jake had imprinted on each other and she was the one carrying his child instead of me.

I shook myself mentally. I loved Jake, I just didn't love being pregnant. I felt like a glorified incubator and I wasn't even showing yet. I hadn't even felt the baby move. I assumed it was because of the stress and tension and exhaustion of the last few months. I really hoped that soon, I'd feel that maternal love for my baby that showed so obviously on Emily's face. She really did glow. I kind of…glimmered. Or something.

The guys came back soon and we ate dinner. The evening was spent laughing and telling jokes around the fire. Leah wasn't as surly as usual, but she retired early when Claire fell asleep in Quil's arms, taking the little girl into their tent. I was tired too as I leaned back against Jake's chest, and I fell asleep myself, wrapped up in his warm embrace.

_Jake's POV_

It had been Emily's idea to have all us guys go back into Forks to get bottled water and give Bella a chance to sit with Claire and hopefully bond some with her. We'd all been pretty shocked to discover the two of them and Leah, of all people, sitting and having a tea party when we got back. Claire had run to Quil, her face lit up at the return of her favorite person. It made me grin to see such an ass of a guy melt when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed sloppy kisses all over his face. I couldn't wait until I had my own little one to do that.

Bella stood up, dusting herself off and gave me a look that she was pretty sure she knew what we'd been doing. I grinned at her innocently and put my arm around her shoulders.

"Miss me?"

"No," she teased. "Though I am missing my sanity. Most college kids go to Mexico or Florida or anyplace warm and beachy for Spring Break. I'm in a fu…" her eyes darted to Claire "stinking rain forest camping with a bunch of goofy boys." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, you know you love it," I grinned, kissing her nose. "Come on, pretty girl, let's go get some food."

I pulled her over with me to the fire pit and started digging up the foil wrapped potatoes from the coals while Sam and Embry set about placing the ka bobs on the grill over the flames. It wasn't long before the meat was sizzling and the smell was making my mouth water. We let the non-wolves serve themselves first, then we divided up the remainder. Bella carefully sat down at one of the picnic tables and set about fixing her potato, spreading butter and sprinkling salt and cheese on it. She pulled the meat and vegetables off the skewer before digging in. I just bit the meat off the stick, licking the juices off my lips.

"God, it's a wonder I didn't run screaming into the night the first time I saw you eat."

I smiled, my mouth full.

"You know, I was thinking that myself." Leah sat down next to me. She had about as much food as I did, but she ate more like Bella. "You sure picked a winner, Bella." She rolled her eyes as she put a piece of grilled bell pepper in her mouth.

"Hey, I'm a fucking catch. You know you secretly want me, Leah. I can see into your mind."

She made a rude hand gesture. "You're seeing my worst nightmares, that's what you're seeing."

Bella laughed. "Well, I'll save you from those, Leah. As much of a pig as he is, I'm kind of partial to him." She winked at me.

I grinned. "See? A catch."

I was surprised when Leah sat down and even more so when she stayed and was actually decent to be around. Bella really was a good influence on her. I grinned proudly as Bella and Leah talked amicably about something that made no sense to me. Somehow, along with beds, indoor plumbing had been the downfall of the proud Native American.

After dinner, we all moved to the fire pit, settling into some lawn and camp chairs we'd packed. Bella had curled up in my lap, quietly listening to the jokes and stories that the others told. She felt some lighter than she had in the past. I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or not. She was only about three months pregnant. From what I'd read online, she'd start gaining weight later. I felt her relaxing in my arms and knew from the pace of her breathing that she'd finally drifted off.

I loved that Bella fell asleep against me all the time. It also kind of worried me. I knew she didn't sleep when I was on patrol and that wasn't too great for the baby. Or at least, I didn't think it was. I was glad Emily was finally telling people so now Bella could have someone to talk to. Hopefully Emily would inspire some excitement in Bella.

"Is she asleep?" ask Sam in a low voice.

I nodded. "Passed out."

"Good. We need to discuss the Cold One."

I shifted slightly. We'd still been unsuccessful in capturing her. Her smell seemed pretty concentrated around the res now. She'd figured out Bella lived there and that she was with me, but that still didn't seem to stop her from wanting to kill Bella. I'd hoped once she found out that Bella was with me and not the leech, on top of carrying my child, she'd move on. Apparently not.

"We need to increase patrols," Sam was saying. "I know you five are still in school" he looked around the circle at Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul, and me "so Leah, Jared, and I will patrol during the day while you're unavailable, but you'll have to pick up our slack overnight and in the evenings."

We nodded our agreement. "What about her driving?" asked Quil.

Sam sighed. "Jake, if we tell her about Victoria, do you think she'll stop?"

I shook my head. "She's stubborn. I don't think she'd change hardly anything in her routine, if she changed anything."

Sam nodded. "Well, that means that one of us will have to run into Forks with her in the mornings and stay there during the day to keep an eye out. We know Victoria's coming for her, we just don't know when and why she hasn't done it already."

My arms tightened around Bella instinctively. That bloodsucker bitch would have to pry Bella from my cold dead arms.

_Bella's POV_

I was jerked awake by Jake shaking me. "Bella, wake up. Something's happened." I sat up, disoriented and groggy.

"What's going on?"

"Sam and Emily are gone. They left a couple hours ago."

"Where'd they go?"

"Not sure. We're trying to get them on their cell phones, but they're not answering."

I felt panic rise in my throat. "So what are we going to do?"

"We're cutting the trip short. Everyone's packing up to go."

I nodded and crawled out of the sleeping bag. I grabbed my shoes and stuffed my feet into them. I felt gross since I'd slept in my clothes, but there wasn't any changing that now. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and crawled out of the tent. I caught my foot as I was exiting and fell. Jake grabbed me, catching me before I hit the ground.

"Shit, Bells, you've got to be more careful."

I pushed away from him and ran for the bushes behind the tent, throwing up what remained in my stomach from last night. I felt Jake's arms wrap around me, pulling me up into a straighter position, one hand pressing against my stomach firmly. I had to admit, it made the vomiting some easier. Not as much of an ab workout.

When I finished, he handed me a napkin. I wiped my mouth with it and looked up at him. To my embarrassment, Leah was standing there, too, a bottle of water in hand. She wordlessly offered it to me.

"Thanks," I muttered, my face hot.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Don't be embarrassed. It happens."

I nodded and swished my mouth out with the water. I helped Jake pack up the last of our stuff and we headed out.

As we were getting into Forks, my cell phone chimed. I looked at the screen and then up at Jake. "It's Sam."

"Find out what the fuck is going on."

I nodded. "Hello?"

"Bella. She lost the baby." I felt cold all over.

"Oh no. What happened?"

"They don't know. We're at the hospital in Forks. She started feeling bad in the middle of the night and then she was bleeding…" he stopped, his voice breaking.

"We'll be right there, Sam." I looked up at Jake. "Forks hospital. Emily lost the baby."

_Jake's POV_

I felt my heart in my throat. I'd never even considered the fact that Bella could miscarry. Shit. The thought of it happening to her made me want to cry, so I could only imagine how Sam was feeling.

I listened as she called the other cars and let them know what happened. Quil and Leah were going to go ahead back to the res first and drop off Claire, but Paul, Jared, Embry and Jill would meet us at the hospital. She called our dads and let them know what was going on. Charlie offered his house for anyone who needed it, since he was out all week.

We pulled into the parking lot and Bella was practically out the door and across the parking lot before I had the car in park. I caught up to her easily, holding her jacket in my hand.

She got directions from the receptionist and we were off quickly. I realized with a start that she actually knew the layout of this hospital pretty well. Due, no doubt, to her clumsiness. She rounded a corner and slipped, flying across the hall and smashing into a wall. I watched it all in slow motion, unable to think fast enough to do anything. As she was falling, a figure darted out of the corner of my eye and caught her. I then caught the smell of leech.

"Carlisle," she said, surprised. "I forgot you work here again."

He smiled at her. "So you're trying to hurt yourself so you can break in my replacement?" he teased.

She flushed. "No, my friend Emily is here. She just had a miscarriage."

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry. I should have known you knew her. She's in that room." He pointed to a door down the hall. He looked at me then. "Hello Jacob."

I nodded. This one wasn't as annoying as Edward, but still. Bella was already walking through the door down the hallway. I followed her, pausing in the doorway.

Emily was laying on the hospital bed, her face streaked with tears. Sam was sitting in a chair nearby, his head in his hands. Bella was sitting on the bed next to Emily, leaning over to give her a hug. I felt like I was intruding.

I moved over to stand next to Sam. I stood there for a minute, not sure of what to say or do. I finally put my hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Sam looked up at me and nodded. He knew what I was thinking. He looked exhausted. "Bella's dad said you can stay at his house this week if you need to."

"Thanks, but we'll be going home in a few hours."

I nodded and looked over at Bella. She was smoothing Emily's hair. She looked up and caught my eye. We didn't need words to tell each other we were relieved this wasn't us or that we both felt guilty for thinking that.

We stayed for a while, meeting the others downstairs and bringing them up. I could tell that Emily was touched by all the visitors but at the same time wanted everyone to go away. I finally stood up and put my hand on Bella's lower back.

"I think we should go now. Give these two some peace and quiet." She nodded and looked down at Emily.

"I'll stop at your house and leave some dinner out, ok?"

Emily nodded gratefully. Bella went and gave Sam a tight hug before following me out of the room.

She was silent the whole way back to La Push. She went inside of the house ahead of me and started putting together some food for Sam and Emily. Some kind of cheese and pasta and meat casserole. I was a little jealous I didn't get any. I quickly unpacked the car and then wordlessly grabbed the casserole while she grabbed the giant salad and followed me.

"Don't worry, Jake, I've got enough ingredients to make you some, too," she smiled up at me tiredly. I grinned. She knew me better than I thought she did.

I knew where Sam kept a spare key, so we were in easily. Bella put everything in the fridge, then wrote up a note with cooking instructions. She looked around the kitchen and living room for a minute before following me out of the house.

We were silent on the drive back. When we reached the house, Bella reached over and put her hand on my leg. "Jake, I'm sorry I've been so grumpy about being pregnant."

I sighed and reached for her. "I know."

She shifted and pulled me into a kiss full of wanting and need. I kissed her back and shifted both of us so I was in the middle of the bench seat and she was on my lap.

"Let's go inside," she panted against my face. "I need to feel you."

I nodded. I didn't need to hear that twice. I scooped her up and carried her into the vacant house and into our tiny room.

***

From Tali: So, obviously I don't have a child, so I made Claire much more verbose than a normal toddler would be. I can't remember my nephews and niece at that age (one I just honestly don't like and he IS that age...) so I just made it up. No one freak out. Also, one of my sisters-in-law repeatedly blamed pregnancy brain and hormones on random stuff (losing her car keys on a daily basis, forgetting appointments, forgetting to go to the grocery store) so that's not totally made up on my end. Thanks for the reviews! I love them!! I read them at work, which I probably shouldn't, but they're way more interesting than my job.


	11. Chapter 11: Smashing

What I have: two incredibly fat cats, one tiny cat, and one old grumpy cat who pees in the bathroom sink. What I don't have: ownership of these characters...

_Bella's POV_

I frowned as I caught sight of something running along the road beside me. I turned my eyes, but it was gone. I could have sworn it was a giant wolf. I slowed down and kept peering out the window. The sun was setting and the light was in my eyes, but I wouldn't hallucinate that, would I?

I slowed down more and pulled off to the side. If it was a giant wolf, chances were pretty high I knew him. I carefully opened the door and stood up in the truck, looking over the top of the cab. I frowned when I saw Leah walking nonchalantly towards me wearing a sports bra and bike shorts.

"What the hell?" I demanded. "Does Jake worry about me so much that I can't even drive to and from school on my own?"

She raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean? I'm just out for a run."

"Bullshit."

She sighed. "I'm not supposed to talk about it."

"Was it an order?"

She scowled at me. "No."

"Then spill."

We stared at each other for a few beats before she finally rolled her eyes and climbed into the truck. "Ok, but you can't tell Jake I told you."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "I'm not making any promises until I know what the fuck is going on."

"Victoria's back."

She said it bluntly, like telling me that we were supposed to get some rain that night or that the sky was blue. I stared at her in shock.

"And you're only just now letting me know?" I demanded. "How long?"

"Since before you moved out to the res."

"You've known for over a month and no one felt the need to tell me?"

She sighed. "It was Jake's call."

I scowled out the windshield at the first fat drops beginning to fall. "How long have you been following me to school?"

"Sam and Jared and I switch off. We've been doing it since the camping trip."

I nodded, furious. "I'm going to kill Jake," I announced, starting the truck and getting back on the road towards La Push.

"Bella, come on. He's just trying to protect you. He didn't want you to worry about it."

I snorted. "So I'm just some blind bait or something?"

"No, we're watching you. You're safe."

"I don't feel safe," I grumbled.

"Well, you are. The Cullens are even helping out. The head woman is taking some classes at your school so she's closer to you. I'm surprised you haven't seen her."

So was I. I'd definitely be looking for her now. "She's the only one?"

Leah was silent. "I don't know about the young ones. They seem to have left, for the most part. We smell them occasionally, but it's pretty infrequent."

I nodded. So it was apparently just Esme and Carlisle working to protect me. I drove in silence the rest of the way, dropping Leah off at her house.

"Leah," I called as she headed inside. She turned to me expectantly. "Let them know they don't have to hide anymore. I'll drive you guys so you don't have to run in the rain."

She smiled and nodded, heading inside. I watched to make sure she made it, more out of habit than any real concern for her personal safety. I'd seen the other wolves tangle with her and I had no doubt she could kick any normal human's ass, even in her underwear.

I drove home, fuming. By the time I got to the small house, I was ready to blow. I stormed into the house, slinging my backpack on a chair and glared at Jake from his seat on the floor. He looked up at me, his eyes wide.

"Uh, hey Bells. Bad day at school?"

"You asshole."

He blinked. "What'd I do this time?"

"Victoria's back and you didn't think I should know?"

He sighed and pushed himself up. "I didn't want you to worry." He reached for me but I stepped out of the range of his arms.

"Bullshit. You should have told me so I could at least have been on my guard."

"You're no match for her and you know that. Why bother you with something you can't control?"

"So you think it's best to just let me go about life normally without the knowledge that a psychopathic vampire is after me? Gee, I feel so much better knowing you're looking out for me."

I stomped past him into the kitchen and started making dinner, slamming things on the counter as I worked.

"Bella, be reasonable. You would have just been distracted and worried the last six weeks, more than you already were. On top of moving out here and the shit with Emily…" his voice faltered. He didn't tell me, but I knew he was still scared I'd miscarry, too. The baby seemed way too active already for that to be a possibility but he still worried about me.

I turned to face him. "You should have told me."

He sighed. "I probably should have, yeah."

"No, no probably, SHOULD HAVE."

He nodded but didn't say anything. He looked upset, but I couldn't quite figure out what about specifically. That I knew? That someone told me when they weren't supposed to? I was surprised he hadn't asked about that yet.

"So, are you going to stay home now that you know?" he asked hopefully.

"No. I still have a few weeks of classes left. I'm going to finish up, and then I'll sit home until Summer One starts."

"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" he grinned at me softly.

"When have I ever made anything easy on you?" I teased.

I let him pull me into a hug then. "So are you going to stay mad for a while?"

I sighed and rested my cheek against his chest. "No, I just hate being caught off guard like that. I think I'd have been even angrier if I didn't find out until she was attacking me."

"We won't let it get that far," he promised, tightening his arms around me.

I rolled my eyes. "You can't watch me 24 hours a day, Jake."

"You wanna bet?" he kissed the top of my head. "You're like the gold at Fort Knox, baby."

_Jake's POV_

I was going to strangle Leah for telling. No one else could have, no one else had the chance. That night when I phased for patrol, Seth and Embry knew immediately how angry I was.

_Cut her some slack_ thought Seth. _Bella kind of forced it out of her._

I snorted. Little Bella against Amazon Leah…not likely.

_Isn't it better she knows now anyway?_ thought Embry. _Now she'll be on her guard while she's driving._

_I didn't want her to have to be on her guard. She's a fighter no matter what but I don't want her to have to be worrying all the time about that shit._

Embry rolled his eyes and padded off in the opposite direction. Seth gave me a wolf grin, then headed off away from Embry. My position was always near the house. I was starting to hate that we lived so close to the border. It wasn't close for humans, sure, but for wolves and leeches it was damn close. At a good pace, I could make it to the border in less than a minute.

I paced around, nervously, snuffling, trying to catch her scent. It was raining and that made it harder to pick up her smell. I wondered how Sam and Emily were doing. I hadn't been phased at the same time as Sam in a while so I didn't have access to that part of his head.

I froze when the breeze brought a sharp sickly sweet smell to me. It was fresh. I followed it carefully, my heart pounding.

_Guys _I thought _she's close. I can smell her. She's definitely on the res._

_We're coming_ thought Embry and I could see through Seth's eyes that he was coming, too.

I felt sick when I realized that the back door to the house was open and it reeked with bloodsucker. I carefully padded in, not bothering to phase. If she was still here, I'd need to be a wolf anyway.

She'd wandered into Dad's room, but apparently decided he wasn't worth it and had moved on. My heart pounded as I moved through the quiet house, following her smell. I stopped outside the door to my and Bella's room. There was no sound on the other side of it. It was closed, too, and I knew I'd left it open.

I was torn. I'd have to phase to open the door, or I could just break it down as I was. Bella's sudden scream decided it for me. I burst through the door and snarled.

The leech had a firm grasp on Bella and was lowering her mouth to Bella's neck. She'd passed out so was dead weight. The leech turned on me, her eyes blood red.

"So, you're the new mate," she sneered. "You'll be easy enough to kill." She tossed Bella back on the bed and threw herself out the small window.

I followed her with a growl. I hadn't smelled blood, so I knew other than being terrified, Bella was ok.

I practically ripped the side off the house as I leapt through the too small window. I hit the ground rolling and took off after her. I could hear and see Embry coming up on my flank.

_Seth went to get the others_ he thought at me.

I didn't acknowledge it as we kept chasing her. She zigzagged around, doubling back on her own trail to try to throw us off, but I wasn't having it. I could smell Bella on her faintly so I followed that. Embry split off from me at one point so we could try to outflank her. Treaty line be damned, she was dying tonight.

_Bella's POV_

I grimaced and sat up slowly, my head throbbing.

"Bella?" I heard Billy ask me anxiously. "Are you ok?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I looked around the room, shocked at the splinters of wood from the bedroom door and the broken glass and siding from the giant hole in the wall. "What happened?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure. I heard you scream and Jake growling and then there were some crashing noises."

I rubbed my temples as it came crashing back to me. "Victoria," I said suddenly, standing up quickly. Too quickly. "She's back. She was here. She grabbed me and was going to kill me but Jake must have gotten here in time."

"Then you have nothing to worry about," said Billy with a sigh. "Other than getting wet."

I carefully picked my way over to the hole and peered out into the driving rain. "I have plenty to be worried about, Billy. The father of my baby is out there fighting a crazy vampire. She won't stop until she gets what she wants or dies trying."

"I'm pretty sure she'll die trying."

Suddenly there was a pounding on the door. "Billy, Bella, open up!"

We looked at each other and then hurried into the other room. The door opened before we could get to it and Leah charged in, her wet hair plastered to her face and neck.

"Oh, thank God," she muttered, grabbing me in a tight hug. "I'm here to protect you. Jake said he'd kill me if you were dead when he got home. I think he meant it, too."

I hugged her back. "How's the fight going?"

"They're still tracking her, but they're getting closer."

I nodded. As much as I wanted Victoria to disappear from my life completely, I hated the thought of Jake in danger. The baby gave a little flip, expressing it's anxiety at the same time. I stood for a moment before heading into the kitchen. I wasn't getting back to sleep anyway; I might as well start some coffee brewing and get to work on food. With nearly the entire pack after her, Victoria wasn't going to last long.

Leah and Billy followed me into the tiny kitchen. Leah folded herself into a chair at the table and Billy started the coffee. He took his place at the table while I started unloading pretty much everything in the refrigerator. After a few minutes, Leah huffed.

"I'm going to go check," she muttered, disappearing from the kitchen. I kept throwing things into the egg mixture, not really paying attention to what was in there.

"I'm not sure spaghetti will work too well in eggs," said Billy calmly.

I looked down at my hands and smiled slightly. I'd been about to dump a small serving of spaghetti sauce into the bowl that looked like it was close to overflowing. "Sorry, I'm distracted."

"I understand. Don't worry Bella; nothing will keep Jake away from you."

I rolled my eyes at the fridge as I slid the spaghetti back inside.

Leah came trotting in, a triumphant look on her face. "They got her," she announced. "A couple are staying behind to burn the remains, but everyone's coming here after."

"Any injuries?"

She shook her head, grinning. "Not a scratch."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "How far out?"

"A few minutes. She took them for a chase up the mountain."

I nodded and turned to start cooking the eggs. I'd thrown meat in the mixture, so it was basically a giant scrambled egg omelet. I would have to cook it in batches, though.

Just as I was scooping the first batch onto a platter, the back door banged open and Jake entered. He was soaking wet and completely naked but I didn't care. I threw myself across the room and into his arms. He lifted me up and held me tight against his chest, burying his face in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to cry. I didn't know how scared I'd been until I saw him again.

"Bells, honey, I'm fine," he whispered, kissing me lightly. "Not a scratch. I didn't even break a sweat."

I nodded, but I couldn't stop crying. I'd been so terrified something would happen and I'd lose him, too, that I wouldn't even admit my fears to myself. Now that he was safe in my arms it all crashed down on me and I couldn't hold the tears back. Jake smoothed my hair back with one hand and kissed me harder.

"I'm here, Bells. It'll take more than one fucking bloodsucker to change that."

I nodded and pulled his face to mine for another kiss. "I love you," I hiccupped, looking up at him.

He grinned. "I love you, too."

_Jake's POV_

Once Bella calmed down, we all dug in to the food she'd cooked. She stayed close to me the rest of the night, though, almost like she didn't want to let me out of her sight. I had to admit, I didn't want to let her out of mine, either.

Shortly after dawn, the others headed back to their respective homes. Bella had fallen asleep ages ago on my chest. I gently transferred her to the couch and went to assess the damage the leech and I had caused to the house.

It was pretty bad, I couldn't deny that. There was a giant fucking hole in the wall of our room and the door was completely obliterated. Dad rolled into our room and studied it with me.

"Well, it's a good thing you've got a job," was all he said as he turned and rolled back out. I grinned at him and shook my head. I bent down and started to pick up some of the larger pieces. Looked like Bella and I would be pushing the twin beds together in the girls' room for a while.

From Tali: again, thanks for all the reviews and favorites! It makes me giddy like the schoolgirl I never really was.


	12. Chapter 12: Dealing

From Tali: Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! You make me squeal with joy, sometimes literally. They're my own personal brand of heroine. I do own five pairs of cute black heels I rarely wear. I don't own SM's incredible good luck at getting published...not that I've actually tried.

_Bella's POV_

Things had returned to normal pretty quickly after the pack finished off Victoria. Jake had to work some extra hours to be able to pay for the repairs to the house. We'd only just been able to move back into out room, nearly two months later. Charlie had gawked at the giant hole, so we'd explained that I accidentally drove a car Jake was working on into the side of the house. The car was already beat up, so Charlie bought it. I was a little miffed he just took it for granted that I was clumsy enough to hit a house.

Emily was doing better than I thought I would be in her position. It was so weird, seeing her laughing and taking care of the guys like normal. Well, not totally like normal. Her eyes held a little bit of sadness, especially every time she saw me.

It was May and I was definitely showing now, especially since we were starting to shed the long layers of winter clothes for fewer layers of t-shirts and lighter jackets. Jill was always all over me, wanting to feel my belly and see if the baby would kick her hand. Leah wanted to feel, too, but she was more discreet about it. She'd sit next to me at gatherings and quietly reach over and rest her warm palm on my belly. I'd move it to where I'd most recently felt a kick and it would usually reward her with a thump.

Today was Jake, Quil, Embry and Jill's high school graduation party. We were all out at First Beach for a barbeque and bonfire, the usual party with these guys. Since the camping trip no one had felt much like doing anything. Even the patrols had become half hearted. Sam was distracted, according to Jake, because Emily was quieter than usual, which worried him.

I carefully made my way to the area where she was working on finishing up the dinner prep.

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked as cheerfully as I could.

She looked up and smiled. "Oh, hi Bella. No, I think I've got it all under control, but thanks."

I nodded, but stood there anyway. "So, how're you doing?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible, snagging a potato chip and popping it in my mouth.

"I'm fine. Getting through, you know."

I frowned. "Emily, I'm not buying it."

She sighed and looked at me guiltily. "I just don't want to talk about it where Sam can hear or find out." She gave me a meaningful look. I nodded and glanced off towards the woods bordering the beach. She wiped her hands on a towel and we set off.

It was almost impossible to get completely out of earshot of the pack, but we hoped the crashing of the surf would help us out. We walked a ways before she finally spoke.

"I keep going over and over in my head what I could have done differently. Not worked so hard, not been on my feet so much, but really, I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. There's nothing I could have done to prevent it, Bella."

"Of course not," I said indignantly. "You didn't cause this to happen Emily. It just did. It's not your fault."

She sighed. "Then why does it feel like I'm the one to blame?"

"Because it's your body," I said simply. "We have one real job for nine months and sometimes, that job is just impossible and the baby doesn't make it and regardless of whether or not it's because of something we did, we feel responsible."

She gave me a sidelong look. "You're still pregnant. You don't know what this feels like."

"True but I can empathize."

We walked along in silence a little longer. I loved the sound of the ocean and the feel of the sand under my bare feet. I wished it were some warmer.

"The doctor said we could try again starting now," she said suddenly. I looked up at her and nodded. "But…I don't know. What if it happens again?"

"It won't," I said confidently. "The next one is going to stick. You'll need a crowbar to pry him out."

She laughed softly. "God I hope not. Can you imagine that birth?" I grimaced and rubbed my stomach subconsciously. She looked at my hand shyly. "Have you felt…?"

I nodded. "It kicks all the fucking time. Especially when I'm trying to sleep or in class. It's like it knows the most inconvenient times to start acting up."

She smiled. "Just like daddy."

I laughed. "Yeah. He talks to my belly every night, reading stories and the newspaper and playing music. If this kid comes out dumb as a stump, he's going to blame me for eating processed foods or something stupid like that."

She really laughed then. "I highly doubt that'll happen. You're smart and Jake's not too bad himself in the brains department." We stood and stared out at the ocean for a moment, enjoying the sunset as it cast gold and orange into the gray-blue water.

I sighed as the baby started to kick again, landing a solid one to my rib cage. Apparently there was enough room in there for it to do flips and karate exercises. I rubbed the spot it was using as a punching bag. Emily looked at me curiously and I grinned and grabbed her hand and put it there. We stood in silence for a bit before the baby kicked against Emily's hand. Her eyes lit up and she smiled at my stomach then up at me.

"It's like there's really something there," she teased. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

We turned and headed back up the beach towards the guys, her hand still on my belly. It made for awkward walking, but somehow I knew she needed this so I didn't mind.

When we got back to the fire pit, the other guests had arrived. Quil, Embry and Jill's families were all there along with lots of people I didn't know. I felt really conspicuous as the only pregnant person. I wanted to go back to the house and just watch TV or something, but I couldn't do that to Jake. Charlie was there, I noted with relief. I hadn't seen him in a while, though I still stopped at the house every time I was in Forks and set out dinner for him. Emily saw him, too and grinned at me as she headed off to the food area.

He crossed the sand and pulled me into a hug. "How's my girl and my grandbaby?" he asked affectionately.

I grinned up at him. "Fine. I'm fat, the kid's a boxer."

He laughed and put his hand on my belly. I was starting to feel like one of those globes in museums you put your hands on to watch the electricity fly around. It was getting a little annoying, frankly.

Charlie was rewarded with a kick which obviously pleased him immensely. He slipped his arm around me and we headed over to the tree where Jake and I usually sat. Jake was off somewhere, talking to some of the people I didn't know, no doubt. Charlie settled me then disappeared for a few minutes, returning with a bottle of water for me and a beer for himself. He eased himself down on the log and looked at me.

"So have you heard from Renee recently?"

I nodded. "She and Phil are doing well. She wants to come visit when the baby's born but she's not sure she'll be able to. There's talk of Phil being picked up by some Japanese league or something."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Well, that would be different." I nodded and took a sip of my water. "How's school?"

I laughed. "Fine. I'm only taking two classes the first summer session and I'll take two next summer session so I can take the fall semester off. It helped a lot to test out of my basics. It put me just a couple credit hours shy of junior status as of right now."

"Are you sleeping and eating ok?"

I gave him a strange look. "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? I feed Jake and Billy and you, I think I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself."

Charlie laughed. "I'm just trying to be a good dad. Make sure my baby girl is ok."

I smiled, touched. I couldn't remember Charlie ever calling me his baby girl. It brought a small lump to my throat. I swallowed it. "I'm fine, Dad. I'd let you know if I wasn't. Jake bought us a new bed so we both fit on it. Billy went crazy and asked practically everyone on the res for old baby stuff, so we've got tons of stuff for the baby. Jake hasn't taken the time to put any of it together, though. Maybe you could lean on him about that?"

Charlie chuckled. "I could definitely do that. My grandson needs a good bed to sleep in." He suddenly turned a little pink. "To be honest, I dug your old crib out of the attic and fixed it up and was going to offer it to you."

"Awe, Dad, thanks. You didn't have to do that. I'm surprised you still have it."

He shrugged. "I don't get rid of anything easily." I grinned. "I guess I'll keep it out. He can sleep in the bed whenever you visit."

"Good point. Just set it up in my old room I guess."

He nodded and we lapsed into silence, watching as the others milled around and talked. I'd been living out here for a little over three months now and I still felt like an outsider. I was really only comfortable with the pack. The other Indians on the res were curious about me, like they were about all those closely linked to the pack. Probably more so about me, though. I was the first white person to live on the res in about 25 years who wasn't a teacher or some kind of professional. I was just the knocked up girlfriend of a guy who belonged there. The fact that we weren't married inspired a lot of gossip.

Jake had been asking me to marry him ever since the campout. I always said no. Something inside me just wouldn't let me go there. I wasn't ready for all that. Maybe someday, sure, but I didn't have a lot of faith in the whole institution of marriage. It hadn't worked out so well for my parents or a lot of parents of kids I grew up with. Here in Forks the divorce rate seemed to be lower but that didn't inspire much confidence in me. Plus I still had nightmares about Jake imprinting. Sometimes it was at our wedding, sometimes it was when I was seven months pregnant, sometimes it was after we'd had three kids. But it always happened and he always left me.

Then were the dreams where something was wrong with the baby. It was born covered in fur, with one arm in the middle of its chest, without a heart or sometimes without a head. Sometimes I dreamed there was more than one baby and that really freaked me out.

I hated sleeping because I always had those dreams. I would try to stay awake, but life was exhausting. Lots of driving and cooking every day took its toll, as did lugging around the fifteen pound bowling ball that was my stomach. I'd seen the worried looks Jake gave me and I knew he was still worried I would miscarry like Emily, so I pasted so many smiles on my face it was becoming second nature. I wondered how long I could keep up the façade of cheerful, easy going, happiness. I slept when he was around at night, but as soon as I felt him get up for patrol, I'd get up too, reading a book or studying, anything to keep from going back to sleep to the horrible dreams.

Jake appeared suddenly with plates piled high with food. He handed them to me and Charlie then disappeared to get himself one. Charlie looked at me with raised eyebrows. "How the heck can Billy afford to feed that kid?"

I laughed. "I have no idea. I do my part with coupons and sales, but we never have leftovers. He eats everything in sight practically." I picked up my fork and ate some vegetable something or other one of the non-pack guests had brought. It didn't taste that great, but I figured veggies were probably better for the baby than what I really wanted: fried pickle chips drizzled with barbeque sauce.

Jake reappeared and dropped into the sand beside me. "So what'd I miss?" he asked looking up at us as he started to shovel food into his mouth.

"I suddenly remembered that I had a one night stand with Mike Newton and it's probably his baby, so Dad and I were talking about me moving home and Mike moving in."

Jake froze for a second, taken off guard. "Whatever." He resumed eating. "He couldn't father a kid if he tried."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Are you suggesting young Mr. Newton is a eunuch or something?"

"I was attempting to say that you're too classy to…"

Dad chuckled. "Don't go there, Jake. Behave."

Jake grinned and took a bite of his hamburger. I snorted as I took a bite of my own burger. I frowned, suddenly realizing I had two burgers on my plate. Jake reached up and snagged the other one before I could fully process why it was there.

The three of us ate in silence, Charlie and I passing our partially full plates to Jake who polished it all off. He then trotted off to discard everything. Charlie laughed, shaking his head. He checked his watch and sighed.

"Well, Bells, I've got to get going. Work tomorrow and all that. Have a good evening." He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. I guess my being gone made him miss me as much as I missed him. He'd become a lot more affectionate since I moved out to the res. I grinned up at him.

"Have a safe drive, Dad."

He nodded and waved at Billy who was sitting with Sue Clearwater.

I stood up and stretched. Sitting on the log made my back hurt. It was difficult finding my balance on it these days. I decided to walk for a bit before the stories started and set off down the beach.

_Jake's POV_

Even though she wasn't technically a mother y, Bella was definitely a milf. She'd finally started filling out and looked amazing. It was hard for me to keep my hands off her and to my excitement she'd reached a stage where she was ok with that.

I watched curiously as she and Emily set off down the beach. I could hear their conversation some but the waves were like static and were making it difficult to make out full sentences. I gave up after a little while and chatted with people I hadn't seen in a while.

About thirty minutes later they came back, Emily's hands on Bella's belly. I felt a huge swell of pride knowing that was my baby in there. Emily headed our way with a soft smile on her face as Bella hugged Charlie and they headed over to our log. I gave them their space to sit and talk for a bit while I loaded up some plates with food for them. I dropped them off then got myself a plate of food.

"So what'd I miss?" I asked starting on my plate of food.

"I suddenly remembered that I had a one night stand with Mike Newton and it's probably his baby, so Dad and I were talking about me moving home and Mike moving in." Bella said it so nonchalantly I froze for a moment, trying to decide whether or not it was valid. Then I realized Bella would have to have had sex with Newton.

"Whatever. He couldn't father a kid if he tried."

She looked at me with a grin. "Are you suggesting young Mr. Newton is a eunuch or something?"

"I was attempting to say that you're too classy to…"

Charlie chuckled. "Don't go there, Jake. Behave."

I grinned and kept eating. I reached up and grabbed the extra burger I'd put on Bella's plate. It was frustrating that Emily only let us take two per person, but at least I had two other people. They both passed me partially full plates to finish.

When the plates were empty, I got up to go throw them away. As I was heading back to the log, I noticed it was vacant. I saw Charlie heading up the beach towards the parking lot and then a moment later Bella starting off down the beach, her arms wrapped around her tightly. I headed towards Bella.

"Hey pretty girl," I smiled as I reached her. She looked up at me and smiled back. "You ok?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just…lots of thoughts. Emily and I talked some about what she's been going through."

I nodded and waited for her to keep talking. When she didn't, I realized she didn't want to tell me because it was obviously something Emily didn't want Sam to know. Fucking pack: it created another secret between me and Bella.

I slipped my arm around her shoulders as we walked. It was awkward but she was cold from the wind blowing in off the ocean. Even in late May it was still cooler than she was comfortable with here on the beach.

"Do you think we'll be good parents?" she asked suddenly.

I frowned. "Sure, why not?"

"Because we're kids?" she laughed softly.

"That's why we'll be good. We know all that shit he might get into so we can stop him preemptively. Plus, I'll want to play with his action figures and see the movies and shit that he wants to."

She was laughing now. "And what if it's a girl? You seem so convinced it's a boy. Are you going to be just heartbroken if it's a girl?"

I thought about that for a moment. I really wanted a son. I wasn't sure what I would do with a girl. "I'll love what comes out of you no matter what it looks like," I said finally, hoping that was the right answer.

She snorted. "Even if it's got three arms and one eye?"

"Even then. We'll make it work. Put him in a circus or something and become rich. It'll be awesome."

She shook her head in the darkness. "You're such an ass."

"Yeah you love me."

"Against all reason, I really do." She stopped then and turned to look up at me. I leaned down and kissed her.

Things were changing so quickly but I felt like we were doing ok with it. I started full time at the garage next week and Bella was starting summer school the week after that. I was a little curious as to whether or not she'd get so big she couldn't fit behind the steering wheel before the end of the summer. I guessed it would be a wait and see kind of thing.


	13. Chapter 13: Falling

_Bella's POV_

I rubbed my stomach and grimaced. I was at seven months now and enormous. The baby had been kicking like crazy the last few nights, keeping me from getting any sleep. It was also insanely distracting in class. Jake rubbed cocoa butter on my skin in the mornings after my shower, but I still felt stretched tight like a drum. At least I was only taking two classes.

The teacher released us and I hauled myself up out of my chair. Jake's mutant sperm was creating a giant baby. I sometimes wondered if there was another baby in there that the doctor was somehow missing. I stopped in the bathroom for probably the fourth trip that morning. Pickle, as Jake was calling the baby, had been using my bladder as a squeeze toy all morning. _Fuck, and I've got two more months of this shit._

I was washing my hands when my phone chirped.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, its Leah. Are you busy?"

"I just got out of class. What's up?"

"I was wondering if we could talk. Can you come over in a little while?"

"Sure, just give me some time. I have a few things to do first and I'm not moving too quickly these days."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah, no problem. Just come on over when you get back."

I stopped off at Charlie's as usual, pulling some enchiladas out of the freezer from the last time I'd made them. He never thought to heat that stuff up himself. I left him a note on the fridge and headed home.

Jake wasn't home from work yet, and Billy was gone, too. I made up a pan of lasagna for us and slid it into the oven, then headed back out to see Leah.

I pulled into the Clearwater's driveway and before I got out, Leah was by my door. I blinked. It was still odd to me that she moved as quickly as the boys. "Walk by the beach?" she asked.

"Sure, but if I fall, you're responsible."

She rolled her eyes and we headed for the beach. We stopped and pulled off our shoes and socks so we could walk closer to the water. It was so weird to me that less than a year ago, I'd been splashing around in the surf with the boys.

"I'm the worst person alive," Leah said suddenly, breaking the silence.

I looked up at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

She was silent for a while. "I wished that the baby would die, Bella."

I stared at her in shock. "Shit, Leah…why?"

She snorted. "Because. I was supposed to be the one carrying his child, not her. She's my fucking cousin. I go over and over in my head all the time, wondering if my life would be better if they'd never met. Wishing I'd never invited her down that weekend. Wishing it was me he'd imprinted on." Her voice broke and I looked up, surprised to see tears silently streaming down her dark face.

"Leah, stop. There's nothing you could have done. Would it have been easier if you two had gotten married and he'd imprinted on her at the wedding? Or at a birthday party or something? No, it would be harder. The more of a life you have with someone, the harder it is when that life ends."

"Yeah, but I still wished the baby would die."

I sighed. "Well, yeah, that was a shitty thing to do." I looked up at her curiously. "That was months ago, though. Why are you only now telling me?"

"I was embarrassed, obviously. I mean, you relate to her, too, being pregnant. I was afraid you'd hate me or stop talking to me…" she trailed off, her voice husky.

I was quiet. It was a weird situation I was in now. My only two female friends were at constant odds with each other and one actually wished harm to the other. But they both needed me and in a way, I needed each of them, too. Weirder still, they were both confiding in me a lot these days. It felt a little like information overload.

"I need all the friends I've got, I'm not going to get rid of you just because you're a bitch." She grinned in spite of her tears. "Just…know that when I'm comforting Emily I don't hate you. And I think this is probably something you should make a valiant effort to keep from Sam."

She nodded. "I try not to phase at the same time as him and when I do, I try not to think about it."

"Good idea." We walked in silence for a while longer, turning and heading back up the beach towards the fire pit. I raised my eyebrows with surprise when I saw Quil, Embry and Jake all laughing and joking around as they carried armfuls of wood to the pit.

"So, bonfire tonight?" I teased when we reached them.

Jake looked up with a grin. His hair was so long now, several inches below his shoulders. It grew so fast I figured it would probably be as long as mine before too long. He put an arm around my shoulders and threw the other one around Leah. "Nah, we figured we'd take up sacrificing virgins. Quil's the last one we've got, since Leah won't let us toss Seth on there."

She rolled her eyes. "You just haven't asked me on the right day," she grinned. "Today I might let you. He ate the last of the bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning so I had to eat cereal."

"Awesome, double sacrifice." He released Leah and she went off to help the guys. "How was school?" he asked, kissing my temple.

"Fine. Pickle has decided my bladder is a squeeze toy and my rib cage is a punching bag."

He grinned at me. "He's going to be a boxer."

I made a face at him. "I'm heading home. Dinner will be ready soon, don't be late." I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

The drive home and all through dinner I kept going over what Leah had said. I couldn't just desert her as a friend, but it would definitely be a little more difficult now that I knew this about her. I felt a really strong alliance with Emily, but I also know a lot of what Leah was going through.

Billy and Jake got home about the same time, moments after I pulled the lasagna and garlic bread out of the oven. I swear they had some kind of ESP that let them know when the food was being put on the table.

Even though I'd made an extra large pan, Jake polished it off. I had to admit, once the nausea had passed, I'd regained my appetite and then some. I still didn't eat as much as the pack, but I ate more than Jill or Emily, at times more than Billy or Charlie. Billy waved us out the door, promising to clean up for me.

I grabbed a sweater and we headed out, opting to walk down to the beach. Jake reached over and caught my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.

"How're you doing, little mama?" he asked, looking at me with a grin.

"Not too bad. How're you doing, puppy?"

He chuckled. "I'm ready for tonight, I can tell you that much. I'm worn out working so much. Who knew work was hard?"

I laughed. "Oh, poor baby, having to support your girl and the spawn you've placed inside her. Who, I might add, is going to be about as expensive to feed as you are once it's full grown."

"He, and that's an expense I'll be happy to take on."

I made a face at him. We reached the beach and he led me over to the log we always sat on. I took a seat and he wandered over to grab a couple of drinks for us. I shifted on the log, trying to find a more comfortable position. I lost my balance and fell backwards. I landed with a whump, knocking the air out of my lungs. I lay there stunned, my legs still draped over the log.

"Bella! Shit, are you ok?" Jake was leaning over me looking concerned.

I tried to move but realized I was stuck. My belly was hindering my movement. "I'm not ok, I can't get up."

His face broke into a big grin. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Help me up!" I started pushing against the sand with my hands, but I couldn't get my legs to work with me very well. Jake was laughing so hard I thought he'd pee his pants. Quil and Embry were grinning, too, chuckles bubbling up from deep inside them. "It's not fucking funny, someone help me up," I growled, embarrassed tears pricking my eyes.

I heard an angry snarl and Quil disappeared from view to be replaced by Leah's angry face. She reached down and lifted me up as easily as if I were a rag doll. She held onto me, brushing off my back, giving me a moment to collect myself. "You ok?" she asked quietly. I nodded. She looked up at the guys, angry. "If any of you fuckers had any brains, you'd have seen that she was pretty fucking embarrassed by that situation."

Jake sighed and pulled me against his chest. "I'm sorry Bells, you just looked so funny, like a cute little turtle."

I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could. I hurt myself a little and him none at all. He released me, surprised. "Fuck you," I growled through angry tears as I stomped off up the beach.

"Bella, come on," he called, "it's a joke!" I kept going, furious. I was almost to the tree line when he caught up with me. He grabbed my arm and spun me around, nearly causing me to lose my balance. "I'm sorry Bells, but if you had seen…"

"No, stop. I don't want your excuse, I don't want to hear how funny or adorable or fucking cute I looked. I'm not in the mood to laugh about this right now." I jerked my arm away from him and started up the slight incline that would take me to the path to the house.

_Jake's POV_

I watched Bella storm away. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. She was so round already she waddled more than anything else. She was like an angry puppy: impossible to take seriously and prone to falling over. I shook my head and turned back to the pack. There'd be hell to pay later, but for now I needed to let her blow off some steam. The smile evaporated when I saw Leah's face.

"What the _fuck _is wrong with you?" she demanded. Quil and Embry were staring at her wide eyed. Seth was practically cowering on the other side of the fire pit. We didn't really need a lighter, she was so hot she could probably spit and start the bonfire. "What the hell kind of support is that?"

I sighed. "It's Bella. She's always falling over shit."

"Yeah, but you're usually there helping her up, making sure she's ok."

"She was fine, I made sure of that."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You are such an asshole," she growled, stalking back towards the fire pit.

I looked at the guys for some back up. Quil held up his hands in surrender.

"You know I don't want to be on Leah's bad side."

Embry nodded and Seth crept over cautiously. "Yeah, man, she will fuck you up," he whispered.

I rolled my eyes and turned to go after Bella myself.

When I got to the house, Dad looked up at me, his eyebrows raised. "Whatever you did, you'd better do something amazing to make up for it."

I sighed and headed upstairs to our room. The door was open and the light was on. I entered cautiously. "Bella?"

She was curled up on the bed that now took up about half of the small room. We'd turned the girls' room into the nursery, though all the baby supplies were still piled up in our room. It was pretty cramped in here. She wasn't crying, but I figured she probably had been. I'd seen the tears in her eyes earlier. I picked my way across the room carefully and settled down on the bed next to her.

She rolled over and looked up at me. "Why are you so mean to me sometimes?"

I took one of her feet in my lap and started to rub it. "I wasn't being mean on purpose. I'm just a dickhead."

She laughed softly. "Yeah, you really are."

"I'm sorry. I should have just helped you up instead of laughing at you."

"You should have. And I should have calmed down, but shit was I embarrassed. You bringing it to everyone's attention wasn't helping anything either." She put her other foot in my lap, prodding my hands with it. "Plus, I'm sure I did look pretty funny. Green was probably not the best color to wear as a big fat prego. Makes me look like a planet or something."

I rubbed the second foot and she sighed in contentment. "So do you hate me a little less?"

"Yeah a little. Being pregnant so far has sucked. And the ending is not something I'm looking forward to."

I chuckled. "Yeah, but the end result will be awesome."

She pulled her feet away and moved across the bed to me, laying her head against my shoulder. "I sure hope we don't fuck up too much."

"Me too." I kissed the top of her head and stared at the pile of baby stuff. That shit was terrifying.


	14. Chapter 14: Doubting

_Bella's POV_

I frowned, trying to decide which was better. The two cans of corn looked exactly the same to me. So why was the one on the right 10 cents cheaper?

"Oh, you look ready to pop."

I looked up at the knowing voice. A woman in her 30's with graying hair smiled at me. She had a screaming toddler in her basket.

"May I?" she asked, reaching over and putting her hand on my belly without waiting for my consent. Something inside me snapped. I was done being touched and pitied and treated like something incredibly fragile.

"I'd rather you didn't," I glared at her. "I don't even know you."

She looked a little surprised. "Well, most pregnant women are happy to share…."

"I'm not most pregnant women," I cut her off. "I'd prefer to know the people putting their hands all over me."

"Well," she huffed, turning around and marching off, her kid's screaming not doing anything to help my headache. I scowled at her retreating back and turned back to the corn. I grabbed the cheaper can and threw it into my basket angrily and headed up to the check out.

The clerk saw my face and didn't attempt to make conversation with me, just rang me up quickly.

I fumed the entire way home. It seemed like the bigger I got, the shorter my temper was. I couldn't control it, either. Simple things made me snap and that infuriated the fuck out of me. Jake and Billy and Charlie were always on eggshells around me and that pissed me off even more. I wanted to go back to normal, to be who I was before I couldn't control myself. I kept finding myself wishing I'd never left Phoenix and the anonymity I'd enjoyed there. No one to stare at me as the unwed pregnant almost 20 year old daughter of the chief in Forks or as the white girl Jake knocked up at the res. No one to palm my belly like I was a basketball being passed from teammate to teammate. I felt like a fucking basketball was shoved under my skin. Luckily, the baby had run out of space and any movements these days were slow and sluggish.

Before too long I was pulling into the driveway. I sat in my seat for a few minutes looking up at the house. I must have been sitting there a long time because Jake finally appeared on the doorstep, looking at me with concern. This only made me angrier. I got out of the truck, slamming the door with more force than necessary.

"Hey Bells," he said, sounding anxious. "You ok?"

"No I'm not ok. I'm 8 months pregnant and it's hot as hell out here."

He looked up at the rain clouds. In reality it was probably only in the mid-70's but I was hot all the time now. I couldn't believe I'd actually been eager for this stage. I waddled around the side and grabbed a couple of bags out of the passenger side of the car and turned for the house.

"I'll take those," he said quickly, reaching for the bags.

"What, you think I can't do it?" I demanded.

"No, not at all, I just thought I'd help." He tried to pull the bags from me but I wouldn't let go.

"Let me do it," I growled, jerking back. He didn't let go and the bags tore, spilling all the groceries on the ground. Luckily, the eggs were still in the truck, but the apples rolled around in the mud and the canned foods disappeared under the truck.

I let out a loud noise of disgust and glared up at him. "See what you did? I told you I could fucking do it and you wouldn't fucking let it go."

"What the hell is your problem?" he demanded, finally snapping. "I'm just trying to help you out with the fucking groceries."

"What's my problem? I'm pregnant you ass! I HATE being pregnant!" I stomped into the house, past Billy and into the room Jacob and I shared, slamming the door behind me angrily.

I paced back and forth trying to calm down. I finally sat down on the edge of the bed and stared out the window at the rain that had finally started to fall. I felt like crying but I wasn't sure why. I refused to look at the pile of baby stuff in the corner. I didn't even care when or if Jake put the crib together. Billy had pulled out the cradle that his kids had all used and everyone we knew had donated baby clothes. It seemed like everyone was excited about this baby but me.

"Shit," I muttered, putting my head in my hands and finally giving in to the tears.

"Bells?" Jake sounded nervous.

_Great, he's scared of me_, I thought. I sighed and looked up, tired. "Yeah."

He was standing in the doorway looking in at me anxiously. "Can I come in or are you going to throw something?"

I rolled my eyes and waved him in. He carefully sat down beside me on the bed. "What happened at the grocery store?"

"It's not just the grocery store, Jake," I said softly. "I don't like being pregnant. I'm so huge and I'm hot and my clothes don't fit and it's so damn uncomfortable and…" I stopped feeling more tears coming to the surface. _Damn hormones_.

He smoothed my hair and kissed my head. "I think you're beautiful even puffy and fat and in too tight clothes."

"As surprising as it may sound, that does NOT make me feel better," I grumbled.

He sighed. "What do you need from me, then? Cause I'm obviously not getting it."

I wiped my eyes with the hem of my t-shirt. It didn't fit over my belly anymore anyway. "I need to know you still….shit. It's stupid."

"No, it's not. I still what?"

"Well, you don't so why even bother mentioning it."

"Dammit, Bella just spit it out."

"Fine," I exploded, exasperated. "It's pretty damn obvious you don't want me anymore, and that you don't really find me attractive anymore. I'm too damn fat for anything anyway. I can't hardly go to the bonfires because I get stuck when I sit down" the memory of falling over the log and not being able to get back up flashed through my mind and my face burned "you don't ever look at me anymore and you don't call me pretty girl…it's like I'm just a fucking incubator and that's what I feel like."

He was silent. "What do you mean I don't look at you? And how the hell do you know what I'm thinking? You can't read my mind."

I sighed and pulled away from him. "You don't look at me the way you used to, Jake, like you were a…well, a wolf, and I was a juicy steak." He chuckled. "You don't ever try anything with me anymore," my cheeks burned "and you stopped peaking in on me in the shower. What else am I supposed to conclude?"

He lay back across the bed, his hands over his face. He was shaking and I tensed, thinking he was angry. Then I heard him snort and realized he was laughing. Fucker was LAUGHING. This made me angry again. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. He kept laughing so I looked around. I found a package of diapers and I launched them at him, hitting him in the stomach. "It's not funny, asshole."

He let out an "oof" and sat up looking at me with a grin. "God you're dense. Would you calm the fuck down and let me explain?" He ducked as a package of wet wipes flew at his head. I scowled but took a seat on the box that was the crib.

"All right, first off, I have NEVER stopped wanting you, and I don't expect that to stop soon. I just was trying to give you some space. You were so sensitive about everything at the beginning; I figured you didn't want me." I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to say something but he held up a finger. "I'm not done. You have to wait your turn." I narrowed my eyes but complied.

"I don't look at you the same because you're NOT the same. You're different. You're not a skinny little girl anymore, Bella, you're a woman." I wasn't sure quite how to take this. It wasn't offensive, but I didn't feel complimented either. "I don't peak in at you in the shower because I know you're self conscious and I don't want to make it worse. If I thought you wouldn't castrate me, I'd shower with you."

I felt myself relax some. He'd been distant for me, not because of me. "Did you ever think to just ask me if you could join me or if I was interested in you or anything?"

"Fuck no. You've been so pissy the last few months I didn't want to risk physical damage to myself."

I felt more tears pricking the back of my eyes. I wiped at them angrily.

"Truth be told, I'm scared shitless about this. I haven't put the crib together because I'm afraid I'll do it wrong and the bed will collapse the first time we put the baby in. I'm afraid I'll drop him on his head or accidentally drown him in a bath or something."

"I'm afraid it'll hate me," I confessed softly.

"HE," Jake hated me calling the baby it, but I didn't really want to assign a gender "will love you, almost as much as I do."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything. Jake sighed and crossed the room and pulled me into a hug. "Shit, Bella, we're statistics. We're both scared but we'll get through it."

I leaned into him, breathing in his scent. The baby moved inside me, sluggish due to the lack of space. I felt a light tap, as though it was trying to get my attention. I pulled back from Jake and looked down at it. I felt something pressing against my stomach. I grimaced and pressed my hand against it. It pressed back, then disappeared. A moment later, it either kicked or punched me where my hand was hard enough that Jake saw it. He chuckled.

"See? He's telling you he loves you," he said softly, putting his hand over mine. "Everything's going to work out somehow."

The baby stopped moving and went back to being still in his tight quarters. I felt a tug at my heart and I put my other hand on the other side of my belly. I still wasn't ready, I still didn't like being pregnant, but suddenly the prospect of meeting this little tiny person didn't seem so bad.

_Jake's POV_

I could not wait for the baby to be born, not just because I was eager to meet the little guy, but because then hopefully Bella's mood would improve. She was so bitchy lately no one really wanted to be around her much. The guys had stopped coming around so much and even Charlie's weekend visits were pretty short.

She was huge. I sometimes wondered if there was in fact more than one in there. The doctor had assured us the baby was fine and alone, but I was skeptical. It probably didn't help that I was 18 inches taller than Bella. The doctor just pointed out that my genes were probably creating a larger baby, which only irritated Bella.

Dad, Charlie and I were constantly on eggshells around her, extremely careful of what we said and did. I was afraid they were going to jump ship one of these days and leave me alone with her. Since she wasn't in school anymore, she was home all day long with Dad and I could tell it was driving him a little crazy.

I rubbed her feet while we sat on the couch, watching some random game show. Tonight Bella was in a surprisingly good mood. She'd made a big pasta salad for dinner with tuna and peas and corn and some other shit in it that tasted crazy good. It was a cold salad, too, so she didn't complain too much about being on her feet in the heat.

She shifted and grimaced. "I'm sweaty," she complained. "I'm going to go take a shower." She swung her feet off my lap and pushed herself up off the couch.

As she walked away, I frowned at her back. "Shit, Bells, you wet yourself."

She twisted trying to see her back. "No I didn't," she said indignantly. "I haven't had to pee for like an hour."

"Then why are you so wet?"

She frowned and then grimaced. "Shit I thought it was indigestion."

"What was indigestion?"

She sighed. "I'm in labor. I just really hoped it was false labor or indigestion. That," she gestured to her backside "is the result of my water breaking."


	15. Chapter 15: Breathing

What I have: a strong desire to just stay home from work for the rest of the week reading and writing. What I don't have: the ability to do so from ownership of the characters.

_Bella's POV_

"I'm going to kill you Jake," I growled as another contraction hit. I felt like my body was going to be ripped in half by his mutant demon spawn. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, hoping to inflict even a small measure of the pain on him that he'd inflicted on me.

"I'm here, Bells," he assured me. "You're doing great, just breathe."

"Fuck. You." I gasped out between gritted teeth. The contraction finally ended and I relaxed, groaning. "Shit this hurts. When do I get drugs?"

"I'm here to see about that," smiled a woman. I wanted to punch her in the face.

She propped my legs up and squatted down to look between them. "You're about 8 centimeters dilated. As fast and as strong as your contractions are, I think we may not have time for the drugs."

I pushed myself up. "What?"I was screeching but I didn't care. "What do you mean no time? We'll make time."

"Calm down Bells. Women have been having babies without drugs for…ever," Jake tried to calm me down.

I glared at him. "You. Shut up. I hate you right now."

He grinned but shut his mouth.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," the woman said in a voice that was clearly not. "There's just not enough time."

"I hate you all," I groaned as another contraction hit.

Jake rubbed my back and held my hand tightly. "Keep breathing, Bells. Just listen to me and breathe."

"Shut up." I relaxed against the bed again. I was sweating like a pig and my hair was sticking to my neck. I pushed at it, frustrated. Jake quickly gathered it up and twisted a hair tie around it.

"Better?"

"Yes. I still hate you."

He grinned my grin. "I'll take it. I still love you."

Another contraction hit. It felt like I wasn't getting any relief from them now. Why the fuck did women do this more than once? Jake would be lucky if I let him anywhere near me after this.

"Well, how are we doing?" asked a pleasant voice.

I looked up and momentarily forgot about my pain. Carlisle was standing in the doorway, smiling at me.

"Fuck, Carlisle?" I blurted out, forgetting to put up my parent filter.

He grinned at me. "I hope you don't mind. When I heard your doctor was out of town, I volunteered to deliver the baby for you."

I nodded, not sure what to say, to be honest. Jake stiffened slightly beside me but since I didn't have any objections and I was the one pushing a watermelon out of my body, he didn't get much say.

Carlisle pulled a stool over and sat down, peering between my legs.

"Bella, you're doing amazing. It looks like we're ready to start pushing." He looked at me over my huge stomach. "Are you ready?"

"Shit. No."

He grinned at me. "Well, looks like you don't have a choice. I want you to start pushing with the next contraction."

I didn't have a chance to say anything. Before the words were out of his mouth a contraction hit. I was pushing as hard as I could, not entirely sure I was doing it right.

"Keep breathing, Bella. You're doing so great. I'm amazed by you," Jake was keeping up a steady stream of encouraging words that didn't make me feel any better.

I pushed with every contraction but it felt like nothing was happening.

"Bella, the baby is crowning," Carlisle looked up at me with a grin. "Jake, you want to see?"

Jake grinned and moved to look. I frowned. I wasn't exactly crazy with him seeing that side of me, especially not in these conditions.

"Bella, this is so fucking amazing. You should see this."

"No thanks," I grunted as another contraction hit. I pushed but nothing happened this time.

After a while, I rested against the pillow, exhausted. "I give up," I said, crying softly. "I can't do this anymore. He'll just stay inside forever."

"Come on, Bella, you're doing great," Carlisle smiled up at me.

I shook my head. "I can't," I cried. "It's too hard. It hurts too much."

"Come on Bells, I'll help you." Before I could figure out what was happening, Jake had climbed into the bed behind me, bracing my back against his chest. In this position I had to admit it might be easier to push, but I was so tired.

I shook my head, too tired to even speak at this point. Hours of labor and pushing were exhausting. No way in fuck was I doing this again.

"Just a few more pushes and we'll have a baby," he said softly, kissing my ear. "You can do this Bella. You can beat this. You dated a fucking vampire and survived that. You'll survive this."

I smiled in spite of myself. He would bring up Edward at a time like this. "Alright, fine, but I'm castrating you when this is over."

"What if I just promise not to have sex with you?"

"Not good enough," I grunted, leaning forward and pushing with the next contraction.

A couple pushes later and the baby was out. Jake leaned us forward to look, moving his arm to cut the cord when instructed to do so by Carlisle, but quickly wrapping it back around me.

"It's a girl," he chuckled against my hair. "A beautiful girl." He pressed a kiss against my head.

I twisted my head and stared up at him in confusion. "A girl? I thought you were a boy machine."

He shrugged. "Apparently not."

A nurse brought the baby over and handed her to me. I took the tiny bundle awkwardly, staring down at it in amazement.

She was red and wrinkled and had long black hair plastered to her head. She was still screaming, her face screwed up in anger and protest. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Hi, baby," I breathed, looking down at her, my breath caught in my throat. "So you're the one who's been punching me all year long." I heard quiet laughs around the room. "I'm your mom."

Jake traced a finger lightly along the curve of her cheek. "She's so awesome. You did a fantastic job Bella."

"You helped." I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. "You should probably go let everyone know what's going on."

He nodded. The nurse took the baby while he carefully climbed off the bed. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my sweaty forehead, then disappeared through the door.

I looked up at Carlisle and smiled. "Thanks for everything, Carlisle," I said softly.

He nodded and smiled back at me. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world. Thank you for letting me be a part of it."

"You'll let the others know?"

"Of course." He smiled down at the tiny baby, a hint of sadness in his eyes. He'd never have his own children, even though he'd live for eternity. He reached out and lightly touched her cheek, causing a small shiver. He removed his hand sadly. He looked up at me. "They send their best. Alice would be here…"

I nodded, not needing him to go on. Even though there was a treaty and I would have been ok with their presence, the wolf pack in the waiting room wouldn't have been. Not to mention Edward was still on Charlie's shit list.

"Thanks again," I said softly as the nurse placed the small bundle back in my arms. I heard the door close, signifying that Carlisle had left.

_Jake's POV_

I walked through the doors to the waiting room and everyone there stood up, looking at me expectantly. I couldn't help the huge grin on my face.

"It's a girl," I announced. "She's beautiful and Bella's a fucking rock star."

Charlie and Billy grinned while Embry clapped me on the back. Quil attacked me, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug.

"When can we see them?" asked Leah anxiously.

"I'm not really sure. I think soon," I grinned. "They're getting cleaned up."

"What are you going to name her?" asked Emily, gathering up her things.

I paused, frowning. "We didn't pick any girl names," I admitted. "We were so damn sure that it was a boy."

Charlie laughed. "Son, you'll have to watch that mouth around my granddaughter. I don't want her first words to be swear words."

I grinned. "That's a habit I'll be happy to try to break."

_Bella's POV_

I yawned when the door closed behind the last of the well wishers. Jake was still sitting in the lone comfortable chair with the baby in his arms.

"How's she doing?" I asked sleepily.

He grinned up at me, his teeth white against his dark skin. "Perfect. She's sleeping right now."

I nodded and shifted slightly in the bed. I grimaced as pain shot through me. "I wish they'd give me more drugs now."

He chuckled and came over to sit on the bed next to me. "She needs a name," he said finally.

I rested my head on his shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

He shrugged. "I hadn't, really. She's like a whole new start for us, though. A new chapter in our lives."

"She's our new beginning," I smiled down at the sleeping bundle.

"So what's a word for beginning?"

I snorted. "We're going to be those parents? Naming her some random inanimate object?"

"It works for celebrities," he laughed.

I sighed and studied her for a minute. "Eden."

"Eden?"

"The garden at the beginning of the world. It's in the Bible."

"I know what it is, dorko. That's what you want to name her? Eden?"

"Yeah. Eden Sarah."

He studied her. "I like it. I think it suits her."

I yawned again. "Ok, I'm going to sleep. You let the nurse know when she comes back asking for the millionth time."

He chuckled softly and moved off the bed. "Will do. Get some sleep. You've earned it."

I shifted carefully on the bed. The last thing I saw before I drifted off was Jake, settling back in the chair with Eden.

***

Tali: aaaaaand scene. :-) Again, I've not had children, I've only witnessed my sisters-in-law giving birth and they swore and hated a lot. One actually refused to keep pushing at one point. So, sorry if this isn't quite accurate, but whatever. The rockstar quote is from my brother after his wife delivered in July. I wholeheartedly agree after watching her make birth look easy. She IS a fucking rockstar. :-D


	16. Chapter 16: Seeing

_Jake's POV_

I cradled Eden against me, watching her sleep. Bella was sleeping, too. She was exhausted. We'd been in the hospital waiting for what felt like hours and then the labor had wiped her out. I knew they had a place for Eden to sleep but I didn't want to let her go.

"You must be the Swans," I heard a voice say.

I didn't look up from Eden. "I'm Jacob Black, she's Isabella Swan," I corrected.

"So what name are we putting on the birth certificate?"

I frowned. We hadn't talked about the last name. "Eden Sarah Black-Swan," I decided. Black swans were rare and beautiful, right? My baby was rare and beautiful.

"Eden. That's a pretty name."

I looked up with a grin and froze.

The woman standing in front of me was gorgeous. She was tall, probably 5'10, with long glossy black hair and dark skin. She looked like she could be Indian. The air in the room felt like it was crackling with electricity and when she looked at me, I felt something pulling me towards her.

I stood up carefully, holding on to Eden with one hand while I extended the other. "Jacob Black."

"Natalie Hardin." She took my hand and an actual spark lit up the air between us. Her hand fit into mine perfectly.

We stood there, staring at each other. I suddenly wanted to know everything about her and to protect her from the world. With a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realized what had happened and I dropped her hand, stepping back. I glanced over at Bella, worried everything had changed now.

I still felt a swell of love and pride when I looked at her. I still wanted to hold her and kiss her and have more babies with her. But now there was Natalie.

Natalie was staring at me. "What was that?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "It's complicated to explain. Want to get some coffee later?"

She nodded without speaking. I carefully handed Eden to her and stepped back again. "I've got to go run a couple errands. See you around 9?"

She nodded again. I nodded back at her, glanced at Bella again, and headed out the door.

I headed to the forest that edged the hospital grounds. I didn't even take the time to strip before I phased and set off for the reservation. The others would only just be getting back at this point, if they were even that far. I ran along the road to see if their cars were out. I saw the small caravan that was them and I jumped out into the road ahead of them. My sudden appearance nearly caused a wreck.

Everyone piled out of their cars in a panic.

"What happened?" demanded Leah. As good of friends as she and Bella were now, I knew she was going to be pissed when she found out.

I phased back, not caring who saw me. The only ones who hadn't seen me naked at this point were Emily and Jill.

"I think I imprinted," I said, panicked.

Leah's eyes widened at first, then narrowed and darkened with fury.

"You shit!" she snarled, leaping at me and phasing mid-air. I phased, too and rolled away from her. She followed me, snarling and snapping at my balls.

_You son of a bitch,_ she thought. _How could you do this to her? You know how terrified she was and you promised her!_

I winced. _I didn't do it on purpose,_ I thought back defensively. _I still love Bella. I'm confused if maybe it didn't really happen. I didn't want this to happen._

She stepped back from me. Her thoughts were leaping around so much it was hard to figure out what she was thinking. She walked away from me, still calling me names in her head. She phased behind the car. Paul wordlessly tossed her a t-shirt and a blanket.

I phased back, too, more apprehensive now. The others were staring at us, completely lost.

"What happened?" asked Sam relatively calmly.

I quickly described what had happened to me. It seemed that imprinting was slightly different for everyone but that electric shock was there every time.

"There's got to be something different about it, though," pondered Embry. "He still has the same feelings for Bella. They didn't go away or anything."

"They didn't lessen at all, either," I added.

Sam frowned. "Maybe because of your strong ties to Bella the imprint is only half way. Like a printer running out of ink, you know?"

We all nodded uncertainly. "But…Natalie _is_ your imprint. She's the one you're meant to be with," pointed out Jared.

I groaned. I wanted to cry. "So…what do I do?"

There were awkward glances around the group. "You have to break it to Bella that you've imprinted on someone else and that she's the one you're meant to be with."

I couldn't go back to the room after that. Not until I figured out a few things first. I phased back and went for a run. I wished I could outrun everything. I wished I hadn't looked up. I wished another nurse had come into the room. I wished a million different things but I couldn't change what had actually happened.

A few hours later I was staring into a cup of coffee I didn't really want to drink, going over in my head what I wanted to say. I heard the bell over the door jingle and I grinned, knowing without looking up that it was Natalie.

She dropped gracefully into the chair across from me. "Hi Jacob Black."

I leaned forward and took her hand. "Hello Natalie Hardin."

She reached over and took the cup of coffee from in front of me. "You don't look like a coffee drinker," she grinned, sipping the coffee.

I grinned and sat back, still holding her hand. "You're right, I don't drink coffee. I just had a feeling you might."

"So," she began casually, "is Bella your sister or something?"

I shook my head. "That's where everything gets complicated. She's my girlfriend. Eden is my daughter."

She nodded and withdrew her hand. "I don't make it a habit of dating my patients' significant others." She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest but she didn't move.

I grinned. "You and I have a special bond. I'm sure you felt it. That's another thing that's kind of complicated to explain."

She raised her eyebrows. "I'm listening."

"Really, it'll be easier to show you." I stood up and dropped a couple fives on the table. "Come on."

She stood up and wordlessly followed me out of the coffee shop. Something in her trusted me implicitly. I kind of hated that something.

_Bella's POV_

When I woke up hours later, everyone was gone. I yawned and stretched carefully, wincing slightly. I was going to go home soon, so Jake was probably getting the car and everything together. I swung my legs out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom to pee.

When I emerged, Jake was standing in the room looking into the plastic bassinet that Eden was sleeping in. His face was unreadable, a first for him. Usually he wore his emotions on his sleeve.

"Hey puppy," I smiled as I walked over to him. I slid my arm around his waist.

He flinched away from me. "Bella, we need to talk."

I felt my heart clench. "What about?"

He didn't look at me. "It happened."

"What happened?" I was suddenly cold. I didn't want to hear what I knew he was about to say.

"I imprinted, Bells."

I stared at him, shocked. "You're lying."

He shook his head, still not meeting my eyes. He traced his fingertip down Eden's cheek.

"It's not Eden is it?"

He snorted. "No, I'm not that disgusting. It's one of the nurses."

That made me feel an iota better but not much. "Get out."

He looked up at me and had the audacity to look surprised. "What?"

"You heard me. Get out. Bring the car seat up and get the fuck out. I'll call Charlie to pick me up."

"Bella," he started but I slapped him as hard as I could before he could say another word.

"Get the fuck out," I hissed. My palm stung and I knew I hadn't hurt him in the slightest. That thought made me angrier and I started hitting his chest with my fists as hard as I could. He let me hit him for a while before finally wrapping his arms around me and holding me against his chest.

I rested against him, suddenly aware I was crying. I pushed away from him after a moment and pointed to the door.

"I meant it. Get out."

He sighed and stood there for a beat before finally turning and leaving.

I crawled back into the bed, ignoring the aches and pains and curled up, hugging the pillow to my chest and crying. A nurse came in, concerned.

"Sweetie, are you ok?"

I shook my head. "Can you call my dad?"

"Sure honey. Are you in pain?"

I was but she couldn't help. "No, just call him. He's the chief of police."

She nodded and backed out of the room quietly.

Less than thirty minutes later Charlie was sitting on my bed, rubbing soothing circles on my back. The car seat had been in the hallway outside the door so he brought it in and set it carefully on the floor out of the way.

"I'll shoot him," he offered.

I laughed shakily. "Thanks Dad. Can I just come home with you instead?"

He nodded and pulled me into a hug. "Anytime sweetie."

***

Tali: I know. You hate me. I'm not sorry. :-P lol


	17. Chapter 17: Grieving

_Bella's POV_

I couldn't sleep. My body ached and my heart was broken. He imprinted. He fucking imprinted while I was giving birth to his child. Just thinking about it made me want to laugh hysterically and then sob so hard I threw up. It was so absurd, like something made up for a bad soap opera. One involving werewolves.

I wanted to curl up in a ball under the covers and just cry for days. I wanted to retreat to the zombie state of grief and self pity I'd perfected when Edward left me. I wanted to walk down the street and keep going forever, never stopping until I was far away from everything: La Push, Forks, werewolves and vampires. I wanted to scream and cry and pull my hair out and kick something.

A lusty hungry cry from the other room reminded me why I couldn't. I dragged myself out of bed, sighing tiredly as I moved into the small room where Eden was sleeping. Eden. Our beautiful beginning.

I picked her up and she nuzzled against me. I sighed and sat down in the rocking chair, offering her what she wanted. She latched on and nursed hungrily.

She was so beautiful. Tiny and perfect and as soon as I'd seen her, I knew that she was everything I never knew I always wanted. She had long black hair and big brown eyes. Her skin would be a perfect creamy combination of my pale skin and Jake's russet skin. Right now, it was still pretty red, but everyone at the hospital had assured me that would fade with time. She would be tall, I could tell that by her long legs. Artistic, too, I hoped, curling her long fingers around my fingertip. I felt the hot tears pricking at the back of my eyes as I looked at her.

She deserved better than this, better than me. I didn't want to be a single mom. Eden didn't deserve that. She deserved a home with two loving parents. She didn't deserve to have parents whose relationship was so strained they could hardly stand to be around each other. She didn't deserve to be shuttled back and forth between homes. I didn't want to use her to get back at Jake and I was afraid I would, because Renee had used me against Charlie.

Eden was done eating now, but continued to suckle for the comfort of it. I didn't want to stop either. I rocked her gently, relishing the feeling of her soft warmth against my stomach. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. I didn't want to admit the thought that was pushing itself into my mind. _Give her to Jacob_. Give my baby away? To him? And his….wife? I felt a shudder of grief and anger go through my body as I thought those words.

Natalie wasn't ALL bad…she was a nurse after all, and the other half to make Jake whole. Even in my grief and fury, I could see that much. I wanted to hate her so much, but I couldn't quite work up the energy to do it. I was so tired. A couple weeks of sleeplessness would do that. I could hear Charlie moving in the hall and then the door opened and he was standing there, his hair disheveled.

"Did we wake you?" I asked, anxiously. There was no reason that he should have to suffer. I hated that I'd moved back in with him, but I didn't feel like I could go back to the little house with Jake.

"Of course, but it's ok. How's my girl doing?" his face softened as he looked down at Eden, snuffling against my breast in her sleep.

"Fat," I chuckled. "She eats like her daddy."

Charlie grinned and squatted next to me, softly stroking Eden's hair. "That's a good thing. She'll grow up to be strong and healthy that way. You eat all your momma will give you, Sweet Pea."

I smiled and kept rocking slowly. At first, I'd been embarrassed when Charlie came in and found me nursing her, but eventually, I got over it. I already felt more like a cow than anything else when it came to feeding her. It didn't seem to bother him, either.

"So how long will you two be here?" he asked, breaking the silence. "Not that I mind having you here, I love it. I just want to know if I need to go buy some baby stuff."

I was quiet. I hadn't even thought of that possibility. Move back in with Charlie. I would never move back in with Renee: that was too far away from Jake for me to take Eden. Could I do that to Charlie? Raise a child here? She'd grow up with her grandpa, who was so crazy about her, and her dad wouldn't be too far away.

"I don't know," I said finally. "I'm trying to figure that out."

He nodded and gently took her from me while I readjusted my clothes. I stood up and let him take over rocking. "What happened with Jake, Bella?"

I sighed. I had no idea how to even go about explaining it to him. I wished I could tell him all about the werewolves and the imprinting and everything, but he'd think I was crazy and then I'd for sure never see Eden again. "He met someone else," I finally said.

Charlie snorted, causing Eden to jump a little before settling back down in his arms. "Someone else? Come on, Bells, there's more to it than that. I'm not stupid." I didn't say anything. "Did he cheat on you with her?"

"Well, they're…together now." That wasn't a lie. I knew Natalie would move in soon. She'd already applied for a job at the La Push Minor Emergency Clinic. It was only a matter of time before they were married and living in the little house. Soon, everyone would know, not just the pack.

"So it's probably been going on for awhile."

I shrugged, noncommittal.

"Want me to shoot him?"

I laughed. "Thanks, but no. Eden needs a daddy."

He nodded and looked down at her. "You know, she's sleeping ok right now. Why don't you go get some rest. I'll stay up with her, change her diaper. I'll come get you when she needs to eat."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I think I'll take you up on that." I leaned over and kissed Eden's head gently, then headed back into my room.

I lay on the bed, once again surrounded by nothing but my thoughts. I could hear the steady soft creaking of the rocking chair. I pulled my pillow over my head and squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears still leaked out. I couldn't do that to Charlie. He'd already raised his kid…sort of, anyway. His lifestyle wasn't really conducive to child rearing. I wanted to finish school, too, and that would be hard with a baby in tow.

_You're being selfish_ a little voice inside me said. _You just don't want to turn into Renee._ Well, no, who would? _You also think if Eden's not around, maybe Edward will come back and you can get back together with him_. I shuddered. Did I really think that? Did I still want Edward after everything I'd been through? Everything he'd put me through?

_What if you just give her to them for the next two years while you finish school?_ Asked a second voice in my head. _Then take her back and raise her yourself. _

"I'm going crazy," I muttered, rolling over again. Eden was crying, but I'd already learned that it was her dirty diaper cry, so I didn't move. Charlie didn't know I hadn't really slept since coming home from the hospital. He just chalked it up to new mom stuff, not stupid boyfriend stuff.

_Well, at least you weren't married. No divorce to go through._ Yeah, I thought dryly, she's going to go through life knowing her parents weren't married, but not really understanding why. I sincerely hoped she never had to learn about the wolves.

I growled with frustration and threw the pillow off my face and onto the floor. I kicked off the blankets and moved over to the desk. I flicked on the desk lamp and rummaged around in the drawer, pulling out a pad of paper and a pencil.

_Options_ I wrote.

_Keep Eden_

_Live with Charlie/get an apartment_

_Try to continue school/get a job_

_Give up Eden_

_Give her to Jake and Natalie_

_Give her to…_

I couldn't think of anyone else who should be on the list. As angry as I was with Jake, I knew he loved her. He'd been over every day to see her, carefully guarding his words and sticking to topics directly involving her. He should have her if I didn't.

If I gave her up, how involved would I be? Weekends and holidays? Two months in the summer, like Charlie? Or should I just leave, go somewhere far away and start over, pretending that Forks and everything here didn't exist? Would that be better for her?

_SHIT_ I wrote. I threw my pencil across the room and dropped my head down on my arms, finally giving in to the tears and then, later, to the exhaustion.

***

Tali: Short...and yes, I still feel the "love" lol Just be prepared to be upset with me for a couple of chapters. ;-)


	18. Chapter 18: Talking

Tali: First off, to thupsgirl, Thanks! I agree with you. Some people just get a bee in their bonnet about things. I wasn't too upset about it, but thanks just the same. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

And now...back to our regularly scheduled hatred of me. :-)

***

_Bella's POV_

I woke up hours later, stiff and sore from sleeping with my head on the desk. I sat up with a groan, rolling my neck to ease some of the stiffness. I stood up and headed into Eden's room.

Charlie was asleep in the chair, his head lolling back against the head rest, Eden in his arms. She was fast asleep, too, I noticed with relief. Her lips moved, nursing in her sleep. She moved her head slightly against Charlie, so I reached for her, gently taking her from his arms.

He stiffened and woke up, his eyes looking around wildly. When they fell on me holding her, he relaxed.

"What time is it?" he asked with a yawn, trading places with me.

I shrugged. "Eight maybe? I'm not really sure."

He nodded and traced a finger across Eden's cheek before heading out of the room. A couple minutes later, I heard the shower kick on. I sighed and leaned back, closing my eyes. I was moments from drifting to sleep when I heard a low cough.

I opened my eyes, startled to see Jake in the doorway.

"Hey, Bells," he said, somewhat nervously.

"Jake," I replied calmly.

"How's my girl?"

I bit my tongue to keep from saying something I shouldn't. "Fine. Eating again."

He nodded, his gaze locked on Eden. His face softened and it broke my heart even more to see the love for her in his eyes. "And you?"

I was silent, not sure how to answer that question. "How do you think?" I finally asked, my voice breaking slightly.

He winced, obviously pained by my hurt. "Bells, you know I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt you," he whispered, kneeling down beside the chair. I couldn't look at him. If I did, I'd burst into tears and throw myself at him, begging him not to leave me. I'd offer him anything if he would just stay. "I still love you, you know."

I frowned. "What the hell kind of love could it be if you choose her over me?"

He sighed and sat back, settling himself at my feet Indian style. His warm hand lightly caressed my bare calf. "You loved me and Edward at the same time for a little while, didn't you? And you picked me over him."

"This is NOT the same thing and you know it," I hissed at him, moving my leg away from his touch.

He looked down at the floor. The room was silent except for the creak of the chair and Eden's soft snuffling. I needed to talk to him about everything, but I didn't want to, not right now anyway. I shifted Eden and covered myself. I propped her against my shoulder and rubbed her back, eliciting a small burp. I moved to stand up to change her, but Jake stopped me. I wordlessly handed her over and watched as he moved to the small dresser in the room I was using as a makeshift changing table and carefully changed her diaper. He spoke softly to her, words I couldn't hear.

"You know, I can bring over all the rest of the baby stuff at our place if you want me to."

Shit. I guess we'd have to have that discussion. "Well, I'm not sure about that," I said slowly. He looked up at me curiously. He carefully lifted Eden up and took the vacant rocking chair. I leaned against the dresser and studied him. "What are we going to do in regards to her?" I asked finally.

"What do you want?"

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously what I want doesn't matter."

He sighed. "Are you going to turn bitchy on me, Bella?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Fuck you. I get to be a little bitchy. You put me in a really shitty situation. Why do you think I resisted letting myself fall for you for so long, you fucker? I didn't want to fall in love so completely only to lose you when you imprinted on someone else. It never occurred to me there'd be a child involved."

He stiffened and narrowed his eyes back at me. "I didn't plan on ANY of that, Bella, and you know it. I would have spent the rest of my life with you HAPPILY if I hadn't imprinted. I didn't feel like I was missing anything in my life."

"Then leave her!" I sobbed out. "Leave her and take me and Eden."

He looked down at Eden sadly. "You know I can't. She's my imprint. No one has ever left an imprint before."

I was crying hard now. I slid down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I pushed it away angrily. "Don't touch me," I snarled.

"Bella, it's me."

I looked up and saw Charlie looking down at me with concern. Jake was still in the rocking chair. I let Charlie help me up off the floor. He pulled me close against him and I cried into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. He rubbed my back soothingly, murmuring nonsense words like Jake had done only minutes earlier with Eden. Once I calmed down, he kissed my forehead then turned to Jake.

"If you keep making my daughter cry, you won't be welcome in my house again. EVER. I don't care whose father you are." His voice was surprisingly menacing. I looked up at him startled.

"Dad…"

"Enough, Bella. You think I don't hear you crying at night? You think I don't know you haven't slept? I don't want him around here if he's going to make that worse. He's not welcome."

I nodded numbly. There wasn't anything I could say in response to that. I'd secretly been wanting Jake to stop coming around anyway. I just didn't think I could do that since he was Eden's father. Plus the shitty fact that I still loved him, heart and soul.

"I'll do whatever Bella wants," he said calmly.

"Dad, I'm fine," I said hoarsely. "We just need to talk some things through."

Charlie nodded, kissed me again, glared at Jake, and then headed out of the room. He paused in the doorway and looked back at me. "I can go in later if you want me here for back up."

I grinned in spite of myself and shook my head. "We'll be fine, Dad. Seriously."

He nodded and was gone. A few moments later I heard the sound of the cruiser pulling out of the drive.

Jake stood up and put Eden down in her crib and turned to me expectantly. I motioned for him to follow me to my room where we could both sit more comfortably. I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror as we passed it and winced internally. My hair was thick and heavy enough that it didn't look that bad, but I had dark circles under my eyes. I was still wearing my pajamas. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd been wearing them one day or two. They were the only ones I had that fit ok. Anything I'd worn while pregnant was too big and the pre-pregnancy stuff was too small. I wasn't the slim little girl I was even a year ago.

I pulled a hair tie off the knob to the drawer on my nightstand and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. He took a seat at my desk, frowning as he looked down at my pro/con list from the night before. I walked over and took it wordlessly, tossing it on the floor on the other side of my bed. I settled myself down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. We sat in silence, waiting for the other to speak.

"Are you going to marry her?" I asked finally.

He was quiet. "Not right away, but probably eventually."

"How did she react when you told her about everything?"

"She thought I was crazy, but then I showed her and she thought she was crazy. She's slowly coming around, though."

"And her family?"

"She doesn't have one. She was an only child. Her parents divorced when she was young, mom died in a car accident when she was little, dad died a few years ago from cancer."

"How does she feel about our situation?"

He fiddled with a pencil on the desk. "She wants me to stay with you for a while. Since I'll be young as long as I phase, she's willing to wait for me. She doesn't care that she'll be older."

My heart picked up a little. Maybe she wasn't the cold heartless bitch I'd made her out to be. Then again, she wanted him to be with me for a short time. Was it worse for Eden to never have both parents, or to have them both for a while before they split up? Would my life have been better if Charlie and Renee had divorced when I was a baby and didn't remember them living together?

"But, I don't want to do that. It's not fair to you." I nodded quietly. I suddenly found myself wishing for a plague or car accident or cancer or something to strike. Whether I wanted it to hit me or Natalie, I wasn't entirely sure.

"My turn. Is that list for real?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure anymore. I had a bad night last night."

"What about Edward? You know he said he'd be checking in on you."

"I'm not the same person I was when I was with him. I'm 20 now, he's still 17. I know the whole 'been 17 for 80 years' thing makes a difference, but I'm not sure I'm the Bella he'd want anymore."

He nodded. "Where are you going to live with Eden?"

"I don't know that either. Really, Jake, I don't know anything at this point. Charlie did offer to let me stay with him. I'm not sure how viable an option that is, but it's a hell of a lot more viable than living with you in La Push."

"Billy would take you in. He'd love to have you there and he's certainly got the room. We can move out."

"I think I'd rather have my own place, to be honest."

"I'll help, you know. Child support and all that."

I nodded. I wasn't going to turn that down. I knew that it would be hard to make it on my own without his support.

"I do love you, Bells," he said softly. "I hope you know that."

"Just not enough," I sighed. He didn't respond to that.

He stood up to leave, stopping at the bed and looking at me sadly. "I didn't want it to happen this way, you've got to know that. If I had any inkling this would happen, I would have pushed for you to stay with Edward."

"That would have been hard, seeing as how he left me."

He sighed and pulled me off the bed and into a crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. I breathed in his familiar comforting scent like it was fresh air and I'd been living in smog my whole life. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. I lifted my face and he kissed me lightly, affectionately. I raised up on my toes and deepened the kiss, moving my arms to his neck. He pulled me closer against him, his hands slipping under my top. I didn't care that I hadn't showered in a couple of days, I just wanted to feel his skin on mine.

I fumbled with the hem of his t-shirt, slipping my hands underneath it and spreading my palms across his abs. he sighed softly as he pulled away.

"Bella, I can't," he whispered.

"You can," I retorted, moving my hand to parts south that completely negated his words. "You just don't want to."

He frowned at me and pulled me tight against him. "You think I don't want to?" he kissed me again.

_I shouldn't be doing this_ I thought as I reached for the closure on his jeans. _I just had a fucking baby._ I decided I didn't care as his hands pushed my pajama bottoms down.

Afterwards, he held me against him and it was like everything was the way it should have been. We lay quietly, not wanting to admit this was good-bye. Our moment of contentment was ended by sounds from the other room almost simultaneous with his cell phone ringing.

I stood up and pulled my pants back on, moving to check on Eden while I heard Jake answer. She needed another diaper change and was hungry again. She really was her father's daughter. I sat down to nurse and tried to listen to the conversation in the other room, but Jake was talking too softly. He came into the room a few minutes later, wearing his jeans and pulling his shirt on.

"That was Natalie. I was supposed to meet her for lunch."

I nodded and kept rocking. He studied me for a minute, then leaned down and kissed Eden, then me as he stood back up.

"Maybe…this…could work…as fucked up as it is. I just don't want to lose any of you."

I snorted. "So basically you're turning Mormon on me."

He rolled his eyes. "I guess. I never really got the whole plural marriage thing until now."

I sighed. "I think this was it for us, Jake. One last good-bye. It's not fair to me or Natalie or Eden. We'll just go back to friends who were once something more. I'll figure out my living arrangements and let you know. We'll be fine, Jake. Really."

He nodded and sighed. "See you later?"

I nodded. Then he was gone. I heard the sound of the Rabbit pulling out and driving away. I looked down at Eden. For once, her eyes were open, studying me. She squinted a little, looking like she was concentrating really hard. I smiled down at her, carefully wiping my tears away.

"I want you to know that even when I say bad things about your daddy, and I will, we both still love you…and in a weird way, each other. But mostly you."

She blinked, then yawned, and slowly drifted back to sleep. I watched her sleep and knew that no matter what, she and I were in this together forever. Nothing would change that, not even Jake being an insensitive ass constantly trying to fuck up my life. I hoped Charlie was serious about letting us stay, because I was determined to make this work some way…any way. Jake was not going to win.

_Jake's POV_

God, what the HELL is wrong with me? I wanted to kick my own ass. Whenever Leah fought me, I didn't hardly fight back anymore, I was so disgusted with myself.

I made the drive last longer than it needed to. Natalie had already cancelled lunch, I just couldn't face Bella anymore. I couldn't stand there and see the betrayal in her face and see her utter exhaustion from taking care of our child virtually alone. I wanted to help out more and I was so angry that I couldn't.

I went over everything in my head a million times on the drive home. Could I break the imprint? Was that possible? It hadn't been done before so I wasn't sure. Having sex with Bella didn't make me feel guilty about essentially cheating on Natalie, though simply being with Natalie made me feel like I was cheating on Bella. I guess, in a way, I was. We hadn't had sex, hadn't even really kissed. I couldn't do that, really and truly cheat on Bella.

I parked at the house and headed down to the beach. I cringed when I saw Quil and Embry sitting around the fire pit talking. I slowed my steps but I knew they could hear me. We could sneak up on humans, but not each other.

Quil stood up and surveyed me, his arms crossed over his chest. "We need to talk."

I stopped and looked at him. "Ok."

He pointed to the log Bella and I always sat on and I took a seat, studying him apprehensively. Embry poked at the ashes with a stick.

"You're an asshole," said Quil bluntly after a long minute. "I've thought about this and you're a dick."

"Agreed," Embry nodded from his seat. "Really, asshole and dick don't even begin to describe what you are. You lied to Bella and deserted her and I'd happily kick your ass if Leah would let me once in a while. She seems to have exclusive rights on kicking your ass right now, though."

I stared at them in confusion. "On the road that day," I protested. "You were the one who told me I had to." I felt panic welling up in my chest. "You were the ones who kept saying that Natalie's my fucking imprint!"

They exchanged glances. "Well, we hadn't really thought about it yet. We have now. We pick Bella."

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. "What the FUCK?"

"Jake, no one has left an imprint." We all looked up and saw Sam and Jared crossing the beach towards us. Leah was close behind them, her eyes narrowed at me. I instinctively closed my legs and covered myself with my hands.

Sam dropped onto the log next to me and leaned forward. Leah stood on my other side, her arms crossed and she glared at me menacingly.

"Natalie is your imprint. She's the one, Jake. I know Bella's special, none of us are denying that, but think about this: the wolf genes won't be passed down as strongly through her. That's the main purpose of the imprint: to pass on the genes."

I scowled at the ground. Who the fuck cared about genes? I wanted Bella. I tugged on my hair wishing I could figure this thing out. It seemed like it should be simple, right? Be with Bella and our baby. But I still felt that tug to Natalie.

"So, what, is that an order?" I finally asked dully. "Are you ordering me as my Alpha to stay with Natalie for the good of the pack?" I spat it out angrily.

Sam was quiet. "If I order you to do that, you'll hate me, and so will everyone else. I'm asking you to give her a chance. Try things with Natalie for a while and see what happens."

Leah started shaking beside me. "That's total bullshit, Sam."

He gave her a look that silenced her. "Just a little while. Figure out if the feelings for Bella ebb and the feelings for Natalie grow."

I stared at him stunned. "You want me to desert Bella and be with Natalie to see who I need more?" I asked, struggling to clarify the absurd conversation. The others were staring at him openmouthed. Clearly, I was not the only one taken aback by this. Leah looked ready to rip something to pieces. Embry looked like he was going to be sick.

Sam sighed. "Just for a little while. I can't in good conscious as an Alpha just say go with Natalie because she's your imprint and I can't tell you to go with Bella because she's the mother of your child. If it's Bella you're meant to be with then imprint be damned and it'll happen."

I stood up, angry, my hands clenched into fists at my side. "And how long do you think 'a while' should be?" I growled.

"A year. Just a year."

"Is that…"

"It's an order."

I flinched as I felt the familiar imaginary binding around my chest. I wanted to break something. "One year." I hated Sam.

***

Tali: Yeah, I know. I kinda hate Sam, too. A whole year passes in just two chapters, though, so your misery will soon be over and you can move on to hating someone else and other characters. :-) Also, PLEASE TRUST ME! I've only got a couple chapters left. If, when it's over you still hate me, fine. But trust me!


	19. Chapter 19: Crying

Tali: So, the last part of this, Jake's POV, was written quickly this morning in about 10 minutes so I could post this chapter sooner than anticipated. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense or if there are errors. I debated making it a separate chapter, but I already promised the year would pass in two chapters....enjoy!

***

_Bella's POV_

I paced back and forth, rocking Eden in my arms. She was not having it. She kept screaming at me, clearly upset about something.

"What?" I finally asked exasperated. "You're clean, dry, full and warm. What do you want?"

She looked up at me, quieted for a moment, then she began to cry again. I wanted to cry myself. I had work in the morning and I'd been up for hours with her, trying to get her to calm down and it wasn't working.

I sighed and set her down on the bed and pulled on a jacket over my t-shirt and shorts and stuffed my feet into some tennis shoes. Maybe a drive would help.

I started down the stairs. There was no point in being quiet; surely Charlie hadn't slept through all of this.

"Bella? Is everything ok?"

"She won't stop crying. I'm going to try taking her for a drive."

Charlie chuckled from his bedroom door. "Babies cry sometimes. Need me to come with you?"

I shook my head. "I'll be fine. Go back to sleep."

He nodded and stepped back into his room and shut the door behind him. I kept on, carefully snapping Eden into the car seat sitting on the coffee table and heading out the door. I managed to make it out to the car without tripping and just after I buckled her in, I felt a presence behind me.

My stomach flipped nervously. My mind was racing as I tried to figure out who…or what…would be outside my house at 3 in the morning. I turned, fear making me slightly nauseated.

I froze when I saw him, his clear topaz eyes studying me.

"Hello, Bella."

"Edward," I breathed, stunned. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I'd come check on you. Is everything ok?"

I couldn't process what he was saying very well. It was cold out here and Eden was still crying behind me. That with the exhaustion was almost too much. "I'm fine."

His eyebrows raised slightly. "Really?"

"Well, other than her screaming at me." I suddenly had an idea. "Can you read her mind?"

"I can try." He flashed that dazzling smile at me. I waited for the familiar weakness in the knees and warmth in the pit of my stomach and…nothing.

He walked past me and leaned over, studying Eden. A moment later, she was quiet and he was grinning at me. "She wanted a pacifier."

I stared at him stupidly. "What?"

"She's not hungry, she's not cold or anything, she just wanted something to suck on. I put her pacifier in her mouth."

I kept staring at him. "Shit. Why didn't I think of that?" I felt tears pricking at the back of my eyes. I wiped at them in frustration. "I'm the worst mom ever."

"You're a good mom, Bella." Edward's arms wrapped around me and pulled me against his cold hard chest. "She adores you, you know."

I sniffled and looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really. Charlie thinks you're doing a pretty good job, too, though he's still really upset with Jake."

I pulled back and wiped at my eyes again. "Well everyone's pissed at Jake. He's a shithead." Edward flinched slightly at my language. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Let's go inside where it's warmer," he suggested. "It's going to start raining in a little bit."

I nodded and unbuckled the car seat. Edward led the way up the stairs and into the house. He quietly shut the door behind us while I shrugged out of my jacket, toed out of my shoes, and pulled Eden out of the car seat. I cradled her against my chest and sat down in Charlie's chair. I shivered slightly, suddenly realizing how cold I was. A moment later I felt Edward wrapping a blanket around us. He smiled at me as he took a seat on the couch.

"You haven't said why you're here," I pointed out.

"I would have thought that was obvious. I'm here to make good on my promise."

"What promise?"

"I still love you, Bella. I'd be happy to take you as my wife and help you raise Eden."

I sighed. "Edward, you're 17. Aren't you in school somewhere?"

"I've been to school. I haven't raised a child." He leaned forward. "Think about it, Bella. Think how easy it could be. I don't have to sleep, so I can stay up with her at night. I can read her mind and know exactly what she needs when she needs it. Alice will love dressing her up in little clothes and Rosalie always wanted a baby, you know. Everyone would love her, you'd never have to do anything you didn't want to."

I had to admit, the idea had certain appeal. Plus, it would really piss off Jake to know that his child was being raised by vampires.

"You told me you finally had someone who wanted to protect you. Where is he now, Bella?" his voice was soft but I could hear the bitterness in it.

I frowned at him. "Edward, stop. Jake imprinted. He couldn't help it."

Edward frowned back at me. "Does that make this any easier?" he gestured to Eden and around the messy living room. "Does knowing it was against his will make it easier to be a single mom? Does knowing he still loves you make it easier to see him with her?"

"You're not being fair," I whispered, fighting back tears. Why was he doing this? Did he think reminding me of what I'd lost would make me want him again?

He sat back, his face smoothing and becoming devoid of any emotion. "I'm sorry. It makes me angry and I don't understand why it doesn't make you angry."

I snorted. "It infuriates me, Edward, but what good does it do me to cry and scream and be mad all the time? I have a child to raise, a job, I'm looking for an apartment…I have a life to live and being bitter and angry will just slow that life down and make it more difficult than it already is."

"So marry me."

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I went over it all in my head again. No more late night feedings if I didn't want to, I could pump breast milk for the others to feed her. No more dirty diapers. No more wondering what the fuck was wrong. No more getting up at the ass crack of dawn because the baby was up. But that also meant no more late night snuggles, no more morning kisses, no more late night talks with Eden.

"No, Edward," I said quietly. "I can't marry you."

"Because you still love him." It was a statement and his voice was so sad it made my heart break a little for him.

"That and the fact that I don't want easy. It would be so simple to just pass her on and only be a mother when I wanted to, when she was clean and happy and smelled good. But that's not parenthood and that's not what I want, not really. I love her with everything that I am and have and ever will be or have. She is my life now and if I marry you and pass the baby on to your sisters and Esme, it would be just as if you'd turned me into a vampire but without the eternal life."

"You'd still have her, Bella. You wouldn't lose your daughter." He looked confused.

"I wouldn't have all the time with her that I have now. Sure, I hate being up until 4 am with a crying baby, but I talk to her, I tell her things about me and her dad and our families. She gets to hang out with her grandfathers as much as they can, but I get to see that first morning smile and someday get the sloppy baby kisses. I'll see her walk for the first time, hear her talk for the first time, all of it. And if I have to do it alone…" I paused. "Well, I'm _not_ alone, Edward." I looked up at him with a grin, suddenly realizing things for myself. "I've got Billy and Charlie…and in a small way, Jake."

Edward was quiet, probably thinking over what I'd said. "So you're happy then?"

I shrugged. "As much as can be expected. I have her and Charlie and a roof over our heads and food."

"But not love."

I flinched. "I have love, Edward. You're talking about sex." It was his turn to flinch. "I know Jake still loves me, even if he doesn't say it anymore. Eden loves me and Billy and Charlie love me. I may not have the romantic love that leads to sex, but I have love."

He nodded and stared at the floor for a moment. "Bella, my offer will always stand."

"Thank you Edward, but I don't need it. I can do this. I survived you and Jake…I can survive her."

He smiled and stood up. "I know you can. I would say we'll keep an eye on you through Alice, but she can't see you very much anymore. Eden being half werewolf blocks her and since your life is wrapped around her…" he trailed off.

I grinned at him. "So I'm finally free from Alice's meddling?"

He chuckled. "Oh, I wouldn't say that for sure. She'll find a way."

I stood up then and carefully set Eden, who was now fast asleep, into the car seat. I pulled Edward into a hug and kissed his cheek affectionately. He held me tightly for a moment then released me. He kissed my forehead lightly then walked towards the door.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I picked up Eden to go back upstairs and to bed. "Goodbye Edward." A moment later he was gone. I stared at the closed door for a moment, wondering it that had all just been a dream. Just like before, there was no trace he'd been there. I looked down at Eden's sleeping face and smiled. Regardless of whether or not it had really happened, everything I'd said was true. I wanted this little girl more than anything else, no matter how hard things got, she was my reason for living now.

I walked upstairs quietly and carefully put her down in the small crib in the tiny third bedroom. She snuffled softly but didn't wake up. I pulled the door closed behind me and curled up in my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest. This may not be how I planned my life to go, but it wasn't all bad.

I fell asleep as the first drops of rain started a beat against the roof and windows.

Jake's POV

I couldn't sleep. Sam's stupid ass order was gnawing at me. I really fucking hated him right now. I wanted to tell Bella maybe it all would change, that I WOULD change everything at the end of the year, but I couldn't make her more empty promises.

Natalie moved in her sleep, rolling away from me and hugging a pillow. I studied her for a minute and sighed. Part of my stupid ass heart loved her. I wished I could cut that part out.

I rolled out of bed and headed outside. The cold night air felt nice against my skin as I set out for the beach. It didn't take long before I was sitting in my usual spot, leaning up against our log. I watched the waves crash over the rocks and scowled at everything. The world sucked.

"Jake?"

I turned. "Leah."

She studied me for a minute, then sat next to me. "You don't have patrol tonight."

"Neither do you."

We sat in silence for a while. "Do you know what you're going to do?"

I sighed and dug in the sand with a stick. "No, but I know what I want to do. Its just, the more time I spend with Natalie, the stronger the connection, you know?"

She rolled her eyes. " Yeah, sure, I know _exactly_ how imprinting feels."

"Right. Sorry."

We were quiet. "So you love them both."

It was a statement of fact, not a question. She knew how much I loved Bella and how long I'd loved her and she also knew the strength of an imprint. There was no need to acknowledge her statement.

"If you can break it," she said softly, "then my life will really suck."

I looked at her quickly. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and leaned forward, hugging her legs like she was cold. She rested her chin on her knees and stared out at the water. "If you can break it, then it means it's posislbe and that Sam never really loved me."

"That's bullshit," I interrupted her. "Sam did love you."

She shook her head, her hair falling in front of her face and hiding it from me. "Not like you love Bella. Shit Jake, you've got the storybook kind of love with her. I guess we were just…long lasting infatuation."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Sam loved you," I repeated, softer now. "He just wasn't strong enough to fight the imprint. Maybe I am because I'm the rightful Alpha."

She nodded but didn't look at me. I realized suddenly she was crying. Fuck. Angry Leah, Pissed off Leah, Annoyed Leah…those I could handle. Sad Leah? Where the hell in the werewolf handbook was the chapter on Leah being anything other than her usual surly self? I reached out awkwardly and patted her back. She surprised me even more by sitting back and leaning against me.

"She's my best friend, Jake. I understand her pain and I empathize for her. It fucking sucks, but I do. I can't…" she stopped and was crying again.

I looked around in bewilderment, wondering if I was about to get Punk'd or be on Candid Camera. After a few minutes of crying she sat up and wiped her eyes.

"You have to do what's right, whether that's Natalie or Bella and you have to stick to it once you decide. There's no waffling allowed here. Too many hearts are at stake."

I nodded, still shocked at the sight of tears on Leah's face. "Are you alright?" I finally asked uncertainly.

She rolled her eyes and wiped her face. "I'm fine. Just being a girl, I guess."

I grinned. "Leah? A girl? No fucking way."

She punched my arm, grinning at me. "I learned a few things with Bella around. You want me to go back to bitchy and surly all the time? I can do that."

"Hell no. I'm just surprised that you have a softer side. I kinda like it."

She grinned again and stood up. "I'm going home. You should too. You've got some shit to go over."

I sighed and stood up, too. "Thanks for talking, I guess." I was still confused and pissed, but now I was realizing my decision affected more than just the four I'd thought of. Leah gave me an impulsive hug.

"If you tell anyone I cried, I will rip your balls off. That's a promise."

I grinned. There was the Leah I knew.

***

Tali: Ok, seriously!! I woke up this morning to like, 27 emails from fanfic! Thank you all, you rock my face off! I had a bummer of an evening (lots of crap crashing down on me) and almost forgot to post but I'm SO glad I did. You guys rock my world and put happy smiles on my face.


	20. Chapter 20: Living

_Jake's POV_

In the most bizarre, twisted way, everything worked out. Bella moved back in with Charlie and took Eden with her. They were there for the first few months until Bella found a job at the Newton's store and got her own tiny little apartment. I visited as often as I could and after about six months, Natalie went with me. Their first meeting was tense. Bella cooked dinner and I was a little afraid she might have poisoned the fajitas, but we all survived.

Natalie moved in with me and Dad in the small house on the res. Dad was standoffish at first. She wasn't a good cook or a very good housekeeper, all the things he'd gotten used to with Bella. Plus, she wasn't Bella and he saw her as the reason his granddaughter lived far away. He begrudgingly warmed up to her but not much.

Charlie's visits stopped almost completely as soon as Bella moved in with him. He still came to see Dad, but he didn't come in anymore unless he was assured that Natalie wasn't there. They still took their weekend fishing trips together, so they got to see each other plenty. They even spent all the holidays together with Bella and Eden. I knew I was welcome and no one would say anything mean if Natalie came, but I also knew it would be the most uncomfortable situation any of us had ever been in for a while.

The pack was standoffish at first. Emily was the first to warm up to Natalie, but I could tell she felt torn between accepting the new wolf girl and being loyal to Bella. Leah, however, had no qualms about showing her disdain and dislike for Natalie. She was true to Bella no matter what, seeing as she had been in the exact same situation not that long ago. She avoided me like the plague, too, refusing to patrol with me or even sit near me or make eye contact at the bonfires. It really was like the night on the beach had never happened.

The guys were pretty much aligned how the girls were, most of them torn but begrudgingly acceptant.

The year came and went and I couldn't really bring myself to pick. I'd really fallen for Natalie, her gentle smile and valiant attempts to fill Bella's shoes. I kept all of us in a stupid holding pattern, waiting for a catalyst to come and force me to choose. Nothing was coming up, though.

My job at the garage on the reservation was picking up. I was full time and an assistant manager at this point. I was filling out some information in the computer when my cell phone rang. I flipped it open without checking.

"Hello."

"Hey Jake, she's walking." Bella sounded giddy. I hadn't heard her this happy in ages. At least not since Eden's last big milestone.

"What?"

"She's taking her first steps. It's so amazing. I wish you could see it. I'm video-taping it so you can see it later."

"Where are you?" I demanded. "I'm not fucking missing another first."

She laughed. "I'm actually at your house. I brought your dad some soup. Charlie told me he was sick this past weekend."

Dad was sick? I hadn't even noticed. "I'll be there in five minutes. Maybe less."

I flipped my phone closed and shouted over my shoulder that I was leaving early. I raced into the parking lot and roared off down the road. I hated that the shop was in the middle of the res so I couldn't phase and get home faster.

I raced up the steps and nearly ripped the door off the hinges. "Where is she?" I called as I moved into the living room.

Bella was kneeling on the floor in front of Eden and Dad was sitting in his chair, a huge grin on his face as he held the video camera. Bella's arms were outstretched and Eden was taking a tentative step towards her uncertainly.

"That's right, baby. Come to Mama," Bella encouraged. "You're doing so well!"

I dropped on the floor next to Bella and grinned at Eden. Her face broke into a huge grin and she reached out her hands to me. She toddled a few more steps before falling on her butt. She looked between the two of us with surprise.

Bella laughed. "It's ok!" she exclaimed. "You're completely fine." I loved that Bella did that. She told me that she'd read somewhere that babies aren't always hurt when they fall, they take their cues as to how they should feel from their parents, so Bella made a determined effort to always laugh and assure Eden she was ok when she fell. It was harder for me. I wanted to scoop her up whenever she fell or bumped herself and shower her in kisses but I took my cues from Bella, too. I grinned back at Eden and made silly faces to make her laugh.

Eden smiled at Bella and crawled over to me, climbing into my lap. She reached up a chubby hand and patted my face with her palm. "Da."

I grinned. "That's right, I'm your Da."

Bella settled back on her butt, crossing her legs Indian style in front of her. She was wearing jeans and a thin long sleeved red shirt that was surprisingly low cut for her. I noticed with surprise that her hair was shorter, too. Instead of skimming her waist or pulled back into a ponytail or braid, it barely brushed her chin.

"You cut your hair."

She nodded. "Yeah, I figured it was time for a change. Dealing with her is enough without eighteen unnecessary inches of hair." She smiled at me, shyly. "You like it?"

I shrugged. "It's different." I loved it, but I had to watch myself around her. I still loved her and wanted her, which was weird since I felt the same things for Natalie. But I was with Nat, so anything other than friendship and parenting with Bella was out.

She rolled her eyes and checked her watch. "Well, I've got to get going. I'm going to be late. Thanks for watching her for me, Billy." She pushed herself up off the floor, giving me a fantastic view of her cleavage. She was still breastfeeding after a year and her rack was amazing.

"Where are you off to?" I asked curiously.

She grinned. "I have a date. A guy in one of my classes. We're going to dinner and a movie in Port Angeles. I'm meeting him there so there's no awkwardness if the date sucks. I can just go home." She grabbed a purse and leaned down to take Eden from me. "Be good for Grandpa and Daddy, ok?"

Eden rewarded her with a grin. Bella kissed her cheek and Eden returned it. I took Eden and followed Bella to the door. I felt a little pang of jealousy knowing she was going out with another guy. She waved as she pulled out. Eden and I watched until the car disappeared down the block and then stood for a little while, enjoying the warm Indian summer afternoon.

"Hey handsome."

I turned and smiled at Nat as she climbed out of her car. "Hey yourself."

She kissed me lightly then tweaked Eden's foot. "She's a cutie. Why is she here? Is Bella here?" she scanned the drive as though Bella's monster of a truck could be easily overlooked.

"She's got a date tonight in Port Angeles so apparently Dad's watching Eden."

"Oh." She stood there for a second, then sighed. "We need to talk about this situation."

I groaned inwardly. We talked about the situation all the fucking time. I was getting sick of it. "What's to talk about?" I asked casually.

"Let me change and we'll go for a walk on the beach, ok?"

"Sure, sure." I followed her back inside and waited in the living room with Dad while she changed into jeans and a t-shirt. I passed Eden off and we headed out.

We walked in silence for a while before she finally said something. "You still love her don't you?"

I debated whether or not to lie. I didn't tell her that I thought about Bella all the time, sometimes even when I was with Nat. I hadn't told either of them about the "wait a year and see" thing either. "Yeah."

She stiffened. So honesty wasn't the best policy with her.

"Do you still…want…her?"

I sighed. "What do you want from me?" I demanded. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Because I have to know that I'm the only one for you, Jake," she was crying. I hated it when she cried. Her face got all puffy and her nose ran. She looked like shit when she cried.

"You're my fucking imprint," I said exasperated.

"Don't swear."

I groaned. "You won't let me be myself anymore. Why aren't you just secure in the knowledge that I love you and I won't leave you?"

"Because you left her and she had your baby."

"What part of imprint doesn't get through to you?" I was getting angry. I thought imprints weren't supposed to fight like this. None of the other couples did. Why was everything so difficult with her?

"Maybe I don't really believe it," she admitted. "Maybe I think it was just strong physical and chemical attractions."

"There was more to it," I argued. "You know that."

She didn't say anything. She started towards the bonfire pit. I hung back when she went to the log that was mine and Bella's. I moved past her and sat on another one.

"I don't think it's enough," she said finally. "I think there needs to be more. I think we need to go to counseling."

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "I'm not going to counseling."

"If you love me, you'll go."

I bristled. "If you love me you won't press it."

"If you don't go, I will."

"So go." I scowled at the ashes in the pit.

"No, Jake. I'm leaving you if you don't go with me."

My head jerked up. Her face was streaked with tears. "Really?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "I don't care that we're imprints or how much it'll hurt to be without you. I have to be with someone who's mine completely, not just halfway. I want either all of you or none of you. I won't settle for half. I'm not Bella."

My fists clenched at my sides. "Bella didn't settle for anything," I practically growled. "If not for Eden, she'd be long gone, I can assure you. She's not the sort to sit around and watch her heart get stomped on repeatedly."

"And I am?"

I sighed. I hated this. My heart was already torn in two between the women. Nat giving me ultimatums was total bullshit, though. "No. You deserve better, too." I grabbed a stick and poked at the sand. "I can't give up Bella and Eden and I won't. I won't go to counseling, either because there's nothing that they can tell me I don't already know. I love you both and I want you both and I can't have you both. I picked you and I hoped that would be enough but obviously it isn't. I guess you have to do what you have to do for yourself."

We sat in silence for a while. I could hear her sniffling over the sounds of the crashing waves. I wondered where the hell my life had gone. I had loved Bella since we were kids, had wanted her since I knew what sex was, and had fought off fucking vampires for her. I'd finally won her only to lose her after just a year. Nothing with us could ever be easy.

I froze. Us. I still thought of Bella and me as an us. Nat was just an inconvenience. I hated thinking of her that way, but she was. I stood up. "Nat, you're right. You deserve better. That's not me. I can't be what you need. I still love Bella too much and there's too much history there. You need to find something better."

She looked up at me so sadly my heart ached but I knew I was making the right choice. It was Bella, imprinting be fucked. It had always been Bella.

She stood up and nodded. She understood what I meant and what I was thinking. "So when are you going to tell her?"

"I'd like to do it tonight," I admitted.

She looked crushed. "Alright. I'll start packing." She stood there for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around my waist, pressing her face against my chest. I held her for a minute, kissing the top of her head softly.

_Bella's POV_

This date fucking sucked. I discreetly checked my watch. Maybe I could fake a phone call from someone and get out of here. I should have known I wasn't ready to start dating yet. Having my heart ripped out of my chest a second time and dealing with a baby along with that was going to take more than a year to repair.

"Bella?"

I looked up guiltily. Eric had asked me a question. "Sorry, what?"

He grinned at me, his eyes locked on my boobs. "I was asking if you'd like some wine."

"Oh. I'm underage," I smiled taking a sip of my water.

He shrugged. "If I buy it they can't complain."

"I'm also breastfeeding," I reminded him. He knew about Eden and had claimed it wasn't a big deal. I was wondering if he was serious. He'd been a little annoyed when I showed up five minutes late. My excited explanation about Eden's first steps hadn't eased that annoyance in the slightest. He'd actually pointed out that she'd take lots more steps that wouldn't be nearly as exciting.

"Oh, right." He looked disappointed I wasn't going to drink.

We sat in awkward silence for a while. We hadn't ordered yet and I really just wanted to go. This was the same restaurant Edward had brought me to three and a half years ago and it brought back a lot of memories. I shook my head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Eric. I can't do this. I'm just not ready to date yet." I stood up apologetically. "I hope I didn't inconvenience you too much."

He stood up, too. "Are you sure? We could just…see where the night goes. We don't have to really date."

Yeah, definitely not the kind of guy I wanted around Eden. "No, it's just not going to work." I slung my purse over my shoulder and smiled. "Thanks for trying though. Have a great evening."

I headed for the door quickly. The hostess gave me a strange look. I guess it was unusual for people to leave within fifteen minutes of being seated.

I climbed into the truck and carefully backed out. It was dying a slow death and I needed to replace it soon but I couldn't afford it just yet. I headed out of town and got on the highway, heading towards home. I rummaged around in my purse with one hand while driving and pulled out my cell phone. I punched in Billy's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Billy, its Bella."

"Date not going well?" he laughed.

I grinned. "Not really, no. It's just not a good fit, you know? Anyway, I'm on my way back. It'll be a couple hours but I just wanted to let you know I'm coming."

"I don't mind keeping her overnight," he offered.

I grinned. "I'm ok, really. I'll see you in a little while." My eyes widened as I saw a car come tearing around the corner. "Holy shit!" I yelped, dropping the phone and slamming on the breaks.

The other car blew past me. I had come to a stop partway off the road. I could hear Billy's voice frantically calling my voice. I leaned over and grabbed my phone.

"Bella, what happened? Are you ok? Do I need to call someone?"

"I'm fine, Billy," I assured him. "Some asshole just blew past me at about 90 miles an hour and I veered off the road a little. I'll be fine."

"Alright, just let me know if you need anything."

"Will do." I flipped the phone closed and climbed down out of the truck and surveyed it.

Everything looked ok. I sighed, disgusted. Some people were such shit. I turned and scowled in the direction the car had gone. My scowl disappeared and my eyes widened when I saw a Rabbit backing towards me. The car stopped next to me and my jaw dropped in astonishment when I saw Jake sitting in the driver's seat.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to run you off the road." He climbed out looking anxious. "Are you ok?"

I hit him hard on the chest. "What the fuck?" I demanded. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"No, sorry, it was an accident." He grabbed my hands. "I need to talk to you."

I sighed and pulled away. "I don't like your talks. They bum me out."

"Bella, talk to me."

I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. "Fine. What?"

He stared at me for a beat. Clearly he hadn't thought I'd agree to talk to him so fast. I'd avoided any real deep discussions since Eden was born and obviously that was what he had in mind. Suddenly he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me against him, kissing me hard. I wanted to kiss him back, but there was Natalie to think of. I pushed against him lightly and he released me.

"I pick you." He grinned down at me.

I stared at him, confused. "What?"

"You. You're the one that I want. Forever and always. I want us to be a family."

I felt the blood drain from my face. "I need to sit down," I mumbled. There was buzzing in my ears now. Jake guided me over to his car and sat me on the driver's seat. I put my head between my knees and took some deep breaths. After a moment, the buzzing was gone and I didn't feel so lightheaded. I looked up at him.

"You can't do this to me again, Jake. I can't be with you again if you're going to just drop me for someone else. And what about the imprint?"

"I won't ever drop you, Bella. You're it for me. The imprint was there, but it wasn't as strong. I still really wanted you all the time. Please," he knelt down in front of me and looked up at me earnestly, "take me back."

I sighed. "I don't know if I can believe all this."

"Marry me."

I snorted. "Yeah, cause that's believable."

"I'll move in with you. I'll stop phasing. I'll hug a vampire. Fuck, I'll _kiss_ a vampire. Whatever it takes, I want you and I choose you."

I looked at him for a long moment, finally letting myself start to believe this. Was I going out of my mind or was I just grasping at desperate straws? I loved him more than I'd ever loved Edward and it had hurt more when he left me than it had when Edward had left me. I wondered if I would have taken Edward back if he'd come home before I realized I loved Jake. What would life have been like with Edward. Marriage, I was sure. He wasn't the sort to just sleep together like Jake. I'd have become a vampire by this point I was certain. But there wouldn't have been children and I wouldn't trade Eden for anything. I wouldn't have missed it because I didn't want her before I had her, but knowing now what I did, I didn't want to change that. The only thing I would change in my life was Jake. And he was here, begging me to take him back, to let him love me the way he'd promised to. I could have it all with him: family, marriage, a home. He'd offered it repeatedly in the past and here he was, offering again. Forever and always.

I reached up my hand and rested it on his cheek. He covered it with his own, a hopeful smile on his face. I smiled back at him and leaned forward, kissing him lightly. He moved his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I sighed softly against him.

"Come home with me," I breathed. He grinned and nodded.

"Forever and always, Bella. You are my home."

It was the longest drive of my life.

***

Tali: Yes, I know, sappy ending. I couldn't do what I originally planned, I'm sorry! Too much depressing crap in my life already, I needed a happy ending.

Thanks to everyone for taking the ride with me in writing and posting this story. I know some will be a little disappointed by the ending but that others would have probably hunted me down and bitchslapped me into next week if I'd gone with the original ending (Bella's a single mom, Jake's happy with Nat.)

I got 35 (35!!!!!) reviews and assorted emails in the last 9 hours. You people are AWESOME! I love you all and wish I could give you hugs, even when you commented there was stuff you didn't like. I value your thoughts and opinions and actually took several to heart and put them into the story along the way. I'm not sure where this story could go from here, but if I do, I'll write it up and post it.

Love and beijos to all! t


	21. Epilogue: Celebrating

Bella's POV

"Oh my god, enough already," I exclaimed, slapping Christopher's hand away from the cake for the umpteenth time.

He frowned at me. "Ben was doing it."

"Benjamin," I shouted "quit teaching your younger brother bad habits."

He grinned at me and I swear that boy looked just like his father at his age. I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. At his age, his father had fathered Eden. He gave me a "who me?" look and I shook my head.

"Where's your little sister?" I asked, turning the cake so that the fingerprints wouldn't be seen.

"She's dancing with Dad," Christopher pointed towards the dance floor.

I grinned when I saw Jake with Monica standing on his feet, the two of them laughing as they moved awkwardly around the dance floor. Jake looked younger than his age, a side effect of phasing until he was 30. There were now a few lines on his face, but in general, he looked to be about his mid-twenties. Most people chalked it up to good Native American genes.

Eden was on the other side of the floor, beaming up at Alex as he twirled her around in circles around Jake and Monica and the other couples. Her dark hair and rosy skin fairly shone as she laughed happily.

"She's a beautiful bride," said Charlie with a grin as he came over, a beer in one hand.

I nodded and sighed. "And she knows it. You all spoiled her so much when she was a baby."

Charlie grinned. "I wasn't as bad as Billy."

I gave him a look and he held his hands up defensively. "I wasn't! When I took her fishing, she had to hook her own worms. Billy let her sit back and read."

I rolled my eyes and reached out, grabbing Christopher by the back of the shirt as he made a break for it. I passed him over to Charlie. "Keep him out of the frosting, will you?"

Charlie laughed and nodded, slinging an arm around Christopher's shoulders. As I turned a corner I saw Charlie offering Christopher a sip of his beer. I sighed. My father the sheriff was contributing to the corruption of a minor. I was sure Billy had put him up to it.

"Bella!" I turned and grinned, hugging Leah tightly. "Everything is beautiful."

I smiled. "Thanks. How are you?"

"Fine." She grinned at me. "How's Jake been? Do I need to castrate him?"

I laughed. "He's been great, very supportive the past few months. I think he's dreading this happening with Monica, though. She's his baby girl."

"Well, she's only 10. I think he's got time."

I nodded. "I think he'd love for her to stay a baby forever, though."

She snickered. "Don't they all."

I linked arms with her and we made our way through the crowds towards a somewhat secluded table.

"Can I ask you something?" said Leah suddenly as we seated ourselves, each with a glass of wine.

"Sure."

"How did you forgive Jake? I mean, what he did was pretty damn despicable."

I grinned. "Yeah, it really was."

"But you took him back, had more kids with him. Why?"

I looked out towards the dance floor, trying to figure out how to word my response. "I loved him," I said finally. "I missed him so much and even though it had been a year and he was with Natalie for that year, I still loved him and wanted him in my life. And remember, I stopped trusting him in hospitals."

Leah snickered. "I remember when Billy told me you had Ben at home I asked if it was on purpose. He assured me it was. And then, when you invited the pack to be there for Monica's birth…" she shook her head. "Well, I thought you'd lost your damn mind."

I grinned. "But it was pretty awesome wasn't it?"

"It was." She toyed with her wine glass. "I'm still impressed. When I had Jeff, I thought I was going to die."

I laughed. "That was the first time for me, too. It got some easier after that. I realized I wasn't going to die and that Jake wasn't a demon sent to torture me."

She grinned and stretched. "Oh lord, there they go." We watched as Jeff, Ben and Christopher ran past, quickly followed by Sam and Emily's sons Kevin and Lewis. I watched with interest as they disappeared out the doors.

"Should we be concerned?" I asked lazily.

Leah shook her head. "They're all over 16. As long as they're not corrupting the little ones I think it'll be fine."

I grinned and finished off my wine. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dance with my husband."

She grinned back as I pushed myself up and set across the room.

Jake's POV

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned, grinning at Bella.

"Mind if I cut in, kiddo?" she grinned down at Monica.

Monica rolled her eyes. "Just don't be gross, ok?"

I laughed and pulled Bella against me. "Our being gross is the reason you were born."

Monica made a face and headed over to sit in Dad's lap. Bella smiled up at me.

"Hey you."

"Hey yourself. You look great today."

She rolled her eyes. "I look old."

"You look beautiful." I leaned down and kissed her lightly. She sighed softly against me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Well, thank you. It's nice to know you still find me appealing."

"I definitely do."

"Did you see the boys go by a little while ago?"

"No. should I go investigate?"

"Leah says they're all over 16 so we shouldn't worry anymore."

I scoffed. "You're a mother, you'll always worry."

She chuckled softly. "Ain't that the truth."

The song ended and I held her against me a little longer, looking down at her affectionately. Her hair had traces of gray in it and her face had a few more lines that didn't used to be there. Her figure was fuller now, but she called it battle scars from twenty-two years with me and four children.

"How did I get so lucky to win you twice?" I asked softly.

She grinned. "Sheer animal magnetism." She reached up and pulled me down for a kiss. I grinned and tightened my grip on her. I could definitely stand another forty or fifty years of this.


End file.
